Wide Awake

It's troubling that radio contact was lost. I'm hoping to hear of a relatively safe crash landing in the water, which would mean a lot of survivors could be floating in the water awaiting rescue. I admit that's the best case scenario though.

Thanks for your "anniversary" report. It's amazing how much things can improve in a year. Best wishes for even better times in the future.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
It's troubling that radio contact was lost. I'm hoping to hear of a relatively safe crash landing in the water, which would mean a lot of survivors could be floating in the water awaiting rescue. I admit that's the best case scenario though.

Thanks for your "anniversary" report. It's amazing how much things can improve in a year. Best wishes for even better times in the future.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.

It is very troubling and very mysterious. I hope there was a safe crash landing somewhere. It seems as if the flight "disappeared" over water, and from what I remember, there is a lot of trade and traffic in that body of water. It just seems like if that is where they crashed, someone would have seen or heard something. I am hoping it did not blow to pieces upon impact, which is what some aviation experts briefly mentioned. Whatever happened must have blindsided the pilots and happened so fast that they could not send out an emergency alert before it happened. They were cruising at a rather high altitude and going close to 500 knots, so by all means, things seemed to be going fine. I think the most eerie thing is those who were supposed to be on that flight but missed it for some reason or another.

It is heartbreaking, and there is nothing worse than seeing the pain written all over the faces of their families. I had to turn off the news. It was making tears well up. I hope there are survivors, though. :(
 
Such a mystery!
 
I heard they found oil slicks in the ocean consistent with jet fuel. I hope that doesn't mean what it sounds like, but it's a bad sign. :(
 
Not much going on in my world. My oldest is out of school until Monday. She only had school two days this week. I took some PTO and spent the entire day with her. We had a really nice day.

We are going camping this weekend. Our youngest daughter's school is hosting their annual family camp weekend. I am not one with nature, so I am not looking forward to any of it. The things we do for family.

I had therapy yesterday. My therapist has taken a keen interest in how I did things. For example, she asked me who would have gotten my children if something had happened to us. She was surprised to find out their other "parent" was not the one. She is of the belief that my subconscious behaviour always contradicted what I said. Tis true. She was in that role, but I did not include her on the list of labour support. She met my daughter after all of the grandparents, siblings, etc. With my son, she had no access because he was in NICU. I did not allow her to have access, but I had the option.

It has been interesting deconstructing my relationship with Si. It has been very telling, and it shows just how I really felt about her. I stopped loving her a long time ago. I knew I was no longer in love with her during my first pregnancy. There is no denying that. I no longer desired her sexually either. I lost all interest in her. My therapist seems to believe that was my way of reacting negatively to the changes she pushed in my direction. I agree. I finally said what I have been holding back: I hated being her primary and having her as my co-primary. My task? Identifying why I hated both. She also wants to discuss how I feel about poly and why. She has heard some of my recent thoughts, and they have been rather...unique. I call them flaws and realisations. I do still feel selfish. She calls it cynicism and thinks I have been left with a bitter after taste. I am not sure what dissecting my thoughts will do, but if it helps her sleep at night. *shrug* I guess the ultimate goal would be forgiving myself and accepting that I could have done things differently, but I had no control of how others conducted themselves. Oh and maybe owning my feelings and thoughts. Some part of me still feels the need to hold back my real thoughts and feelings on my ex. I admit them in short spurts, but I still feel compelled to sugar coat reality. Why? I have no need to protect someone I do not give a fuck about. I have not forgiven myself after a year. Forgiving myself will not magically unlock my disinterest and send me back on the path I walked down until March 2013. I am a work in progress and figuring things out.
 
As I see it, poly will be a hot subject to touch because it led to a scary moment that almost cost you your marriage. I also speculate that the blocks against analyzing the ex too closely will persist because you'd have to be aware that whatever the ex did for so long (so many years), she must have had some kind of tacit go-ahead (from both Matt and you? I can't say) to do them.

But I don't see these things as crucial or urgent. The past is receding into the past, and you have plenty in the present to work on. I guess I recommend small amounts of thoughts on your therapist's assignments, but not to the point where you're trying to force out the answers or dig deeper with dynamite. Let the questions be in the stew to just simmer is what I say.

Of course, I am not the professional in this area. ;)
 
I just wanted to say that I think it's excellent that you are still working on self-improvement.
The rest is all technical shit (in my opinion). We all have lots of technical shit. But I think the point is that we continue to aim to be the best version of ourselves that we can be. Too often, people stop trying to do that-especially when a relationship ends. ALmost like it's easier to simply blame the other person and forget that we are all failures at different places and times and can always improve.

I think it's great you are still working on yourself regardless of the ramifications regarding Si.
 
Choices.

Hoyam's thread made me start thinking about a week ago. Matt never asked me to choose. Matt tolerated poly but really hated it. He dealt with it as long as he could, but when he decided enough was enough, he left. He did not threaten divorce. He told me what he could not and would not be part of: a mono/poly marriage. Sometimes you get tired of being hurt and realise you deserve more. All within the realm of logical and reasonable. In our case fixing behaviours was not sufficient enough. He hired attorneys and removed the choice from my hands. He was urged to think of our children. I was pissed and let people with moronic beliefs make me think HE was in the wrong for being fed up. How bloody daft! Our then four year old and nine month old children were not enough to keep him from walking away. He wanted a divorce and was willing to fight me for custody. The odds were stacked against me for several reasons. The likelihood of me only having visitation during holidays and term breaks was what I was facing. Did that reality humble me? Absolutely.

I have seen some of these custody cases have questionable outcomes like siblings being split up or the father getting the daughter and granting the mother visitation on the father's whim when 99% of the time, he blocks her from accessing the child. My favourite was the father who only wanted one out of two of his biological children. He refused to acknowledge his second child, never bothers to contact him, and stays away. The little boy blames his mum and lashes out in volatile ways. The truth is his his sperm donor only wanted his sister and will never be bothered with him unless it is to piss the mum off. In other countries, custody may be granted to the mum without question, but there was no set precedent for that. It was unpredictable and too big of a risk.

I did not corner Matt after marriage and force him to open. Fools argued that he signed up for this. No one signs up for the things he went through. I am no longer oblivious to how he could have been unhappy. would be miserable with what he was faced with. I have empathy and understanding of something other than myself.

Often you do not realise what you are doing or have done until someone else breaks it down. The following sums it up nicely:

Her relationship's demands kept growing, and she felt like she had to keep up with them. We all know when you have kids, say bye to the sex life, sleep, hanging with mates, and anything you did before them for awhile. What did that leave me with? The minimum. A wife in name only, being neglected, and seeing her on some days for as little as 10 minutes.

All the while, she was maintaining weekly date nights, an overnight, and spending half of Sunday with her. She was seeing her no less than 5/7 days. Some weeks it was 7 for 7.

We didn't have a two-person marriage. Snowflake was the third party in our marriage. There was no balance or fairness. Equality? Nah. None of that. She was so secure in the fact that we were married, that she let the marriage shoot to hell to maintain the relationship.

After reading this, it easy to see how his tolerance left the building. I was a nightmare and selfish. At what point should you tell someone enough is enough without being told to remove yourself because you are the one who wants things to return to the way they used to be? Matt really tried for years, but I am almost certain that resentment and hatred outweighed any love he had for me. What if he had asked me to return to the way our lives were pre-Si or even before 2008? I know the answer, and it further proves why I am better suited for how I am living now.

Poly is still a sore spot for him. His body language speaks volumes when it is brought up. I am not sure he will ever be completely comfortable discussing it. He has already let me know that under no circumstances will he ever be okay with being part of a poly marriage. From his POV, being a single father would be better than being part of a mono/poly marriage again. It is a hard limit and zero sum. He kept apologising when he told me that he loved me, but he could not do that again for any amount of love. He is still hurting, and I can see it. Our therapist knows not to bring it up unless she wants him to shut down. I respect him a great deal for being honest. It is often too easy to get pissed at the person who does not cooperate or issues something like an undesirable choice. He has boundaries, and I will never find fault in that. I am not mad at him either.

I doubt I will ever have a second relationship again. I have not fallen in love in 13 years, and I have never actively searched for love. I have only been intimate with one man and never been attracted to another one. I have not been remotely interested in a woman in years. I am not keen on new people. I have no idea what/who I am attracted to. Attraction is never immediate for me. It is secondary. Even without the healing marriage, pending adoption, and newfound joy, dating would not be on the table or even in my view. I have never had any interest, though. I suppose I am weird like that.

These days I really do not have anyone to talk about poly with. My in-laws act like it never happened. My family just does not speak of it. Any pictures with my ex have been altered or removed. My mum has never said it, but secretly I think she is happy I am "normal." Matt is uncomfortable with discussing it on anything more than a surface basis. He draws the line at anything involving my best friend. He is okay with knowing that she is in love with me. Most of my friends never understood it. My best friend is about the only one, and she is dealing with her own difficult situation. Oh and I cannot reveal my past to anyone at home. As far as they know, we are a mono couple with children who relocated from London last year. I have often said being closeted would be easier than being out. Outside of that, his job is certainly not accommodating for such. They have their employees sign morals clauses, and it was clear from that day forward that being open and out was no longer possible. This is why I blog on here. No one in my new life knows about the past one.

I refuse to label myself as monogamous. Our marriage is monogamous, but that describes the state of it. That is a loaded term. I much prefer monoamorous and monosexual.

I hope everyone is having a great weekend. Camping has not been awful. My children are loving it, and it has been nice meeting the other parents at the school. We went hiking this afternoon. Matt challenged me not to complain or use any beauty products. He is really trying to break my spoiled nature. I am glad we took time out to do this. The fresh air has helped me think. We just might do this again.
 
LOL, I just can't imagine you camping, Ry.

Tell me you are not sleeping on the ground in a sleeping bag in a tent, next to your squirmy 1 yr old. You rented a 40 foot Winnebago, didn't you? You and Matt have the bedroom at one end and Nanny is with the kids at the other end?
 
In spite of it being totally in the past, I think that poly is still something you need to talk about (at least here on the forum), and I suspect that may always be the case in the future. You have to figure out the details of why you chose as you chose over the years, and how that will figure into your future choices.

Okay, and my bets are on the Winnebago. :)
 
LOL, I just can't imagine you camping, Ry.

Tell me you are not sleeping on the ground in a sleeping bag in a tent, next to your squirmy 1 yr old. You rented a 40 foot Winnebago, didn't you? You and Matt have the bedroom at one end and Nanny is with the kids at the other end?

Lol. I am being a team player. Mags, this is not my kind of camping. I prefer glamping. A luxurious 4-5 star resort, Egyptian cotton sheets, memory foam, a cosy fireplace, safari tent accommodations, ensuite marble bath, Michelin starred meals, 24-hour room service, etc. are more up my alley. I hope Matt knows a weekend at Kauri Cliffs in Matauri Bay is what I may need to recover from this.

That is not what this is. My family has been laughing since Friday. I have never pitched a tent. We found one that suited my fancy, and that was how we ended up sleeping in a tent and not in a cabin. Toned down glamping. I have never went fishing. My five year old laughed so hard she cried. I refused to touch the bait. She told me, "Mummy, you are such a daffodil. You have to do it like this." The only time I have been on a boat was when it was a yacht. I had to row a boat. I have only climbed on exercise machines. The hike wore me out. The mobile service is limited. I have never slept in a tent. We have air mattresses, so no sleeping bags this time around. The girls each had a twin size one. Matt, our son, and myself had a queen sized air mattress. My baby sleeps horribly. He sleeps sideways. His feet were in my back most of the night. I have never cooked over an open fire. Hilarity ensued. I did manage to make s'mores. My daddy actually told me to tell Matt thank you because he has wanted to break my spoiled nature since I was born. He thinks I would do well to rough it longer than 2-3 days. The nerve.

Their nanny is not here. She has been off since Thursday. I know she is going to get a good laugh out of this when she hears about it.

I am already researching new locations for the 2015 annual camping weekend. Hopefully, we will be glamping at a luxury, eco friendly resort somewhere in Oz or NZ. I am glad I joined the parent association. I can make suggestions and bring them into the modern world. If not, at the very least, we will be bringing an Airstream and our Lotus Belle. I probably could survive with that and glamming the tent up.

I will be the source of laughter for many months to come. I have freaked about insects. I had to laugh at myself. I am happy I made it to Sunday.
 
What a trooper, you slept in a tent after all! :D
 
An Airstream next year? How delightfully retro!
 
LOL! I love camping/backpacking and is my preferred vacation, the more remote the better. However, I'm now 45 and certain comforts are non negotiable. Ready water source, chair, and comfortable sleeping pads(air matress) are a must. The other thing I learned, don't use cheap pots, pans or knives. I love cooking outdoors(even though clean up sucks) and finding new one pot recipes and such, but I bring my favorite "tools" (pots, pans, knives) from home, just fewer of them. Baby wipes are your friend!

We have air mattresses, so no sleeping bags this time around.

Even, my husband (Mr. Boy Scout), who likes to sleep on a cot outside, prefers to bring sheets and blankets vs a sleeping bag.

The interlocking foam play mats and use that as the floor for the tent. Younger kids can sleep directly on them with no problem and no need for another sleeping pad or air mattress. Would work great for the little one.
 
LOL! I love camping/backpacking and is my preferred vacation, the more remote the better. However, I'm now 45 and certain comforts are non negotiable. Ready water source, chair, and comfortable sleeping pads(air matress) are a must. The other thing I learned, don't use cheap pots, pans or knives. I love cooking outdoors(even though clean up sucks) and finding new one pot recipes and such, but I bring my favorite "tools" (pots, pans, knives) from home, just fewer of them. Baby wipes are your friend!

Even, my husband (Mr. Boy Scout), who likes to sleep on a cot outside, prefers to bring sheets and blankets vs a sleeping bag.

The interlocking foam play mats and use that as the floor for the tent. Younger kids can sleep directly on them with no problem and no need for another sleeping pad or air mattress. Would work great for the little one.

Matt is the outdoorsy type. The weather was nice and cooler in the evenings, so it felt good. The scenery was really beautiful, and we were close to the beach. We had a picnic on the beach Sunday with all the other families before we headed home.

We had sleeping pads as a back-up because I know air mattresses sometimes deflate. Our son napped on a sleeping mat, but he wanted to sleep with us. We had water available, and there were showers/bathrooms and power points between our two sites. We could have had the Airstream this year, too, because there was plenty of space. We had a bar fridge in our tent because I needed to keep his milk cold, and it was good to have because my children like to snack and drink water in the middle of the night. Matt and I enjoyed a bottle of wine after they went to bed on the second night. Being under the stars and by a fire was rather romantic.

We all had portable phone chargers that were about the size of a mic pack, and they just plugged into the phones and fit in our pockets. Baby wipes were definitely important. I found a set of knives and other tools for camping at Target. December to April is a prime camping time in Oz, so we were able to find everything we needed. Clean-up was not too rough.

Camping was...dare I say fun? It brought us closer together as a family, and it was a relaxing weekend. No one was tied up with their phones, and there was minimal technology or access to it. My oldest was at camp last month, and they were at the creepy, Friday the 13th/Camp Crystal Lake like cabins with no WiFi. She was close to civilisation and not four hours outside of the CBD, so she was good to go. I am not opposed to doing it again with some of the aforementioned amenities like water, showers (with hot water), and an electrical source within reach.

Best part of the weekend: dancing and singing with with my girls to "Whatever She's Got" by David Nail. My girls love country music like me. I need to let my hair down more often and be silly because laughter is good for the soul.
 
I used to be a camping (and hiking) fiend, but now I'm a wimp. Have many fond memories though. Nothing can compare to lying back in a sleeping bag, tentless, discussing life and its mysteries with your best friends while staring up at the stars and the Milky Way. And our traditional Timp hikes (with slides down immense snow fields as shortcuts on the return trip) were to die for.
 
Glamping OMG!

From FullofLove: "Lol. I am being a team player. Mags, this is not my kind of camping. I prefer glamping. A luxurious 4-5 star resort, Egyptian cotton sheets, memory foam, a cosy fireplace, safari tent accommodations, ensuite marble bath, Michelin starred meals, 24-hour room service, etc. are more up my alley."

Glamping is now my favorite word. I'm totally stealing that. I'm with you, FoL! Your youngsters would have enjoyed my outdoors ineptness too. Good for you about being a good sport about it all. I saw an ad for a unbelievably expensive South Africa safari vacation where everything except seeing the animals with one's own eyes was done by staff. The tents looked like they were for a maharaja on circuit. Huge, glamourous and gorgeous. Oh, and did I mention the daily feasts with locally sourced food cooked by professional chefs? Now that's glamping!
 
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I have developed an aversion to my therapy. I feel stifled when I sit in an office and talk about my feelings, thoughts, opinions, etc. I feel awkward talking about myself for long periods of time.

I feel like something is wrong with me for going to therapy when I feel like I have no actual need. I am not depressed. I am not stressed out. I am not unhappy. I do not have self-esteem issues. I was able to admit that I had lost too much weight this time around, and I have gained some of it back. I am not suicidal. I do not feel broken. There is nothing psychologically*wrong with me. I do not have any abuse in my past. I had a happy childhood and loving and supportive parents. I am close to my family. I have reconciled any thoughts regarding my last pregnancy, subsequent PND, and feelings surrounding that entire situation. Before, I would not even consider having another child because I blamed myself and felt like a failure. I am comfortable enough to take a risk and TTC again. I no longer blame myself for anything that happened during my pregnancy. I cannot take the blame for my ex not being present while I was on bed rest. The fact that I felt guilty when I could not do anything to change it is bloody ludicrous. Everything that happened from 29 April 2012 until x point was out of my control. I am damn sure not a failure. My little miracle survived even when odds were stacked against him. In spite of it all, my only complication is that I can only have C-sections. I would say we fared pretty well. He is healthy, and I can still conceive. The kind of joy now is the joy I felt in 2008 when I found out I was pregnant. There was nothing that could take my joy. It filled me up and gave me everything I needed. That is how life has been every day.

We talked about poly yesterday, but it was more about how it came to be. It is not something I sought. I see nothing wrong with monogamy. My choice had nothing to do with societal conditioning. There was no fanfare. I fell in love with someone who had a boyfriend. He was cool with us being together, and that was how it ended up being a V. I dated two others while with her, but back in those days, I could easily have classified the other two relationships as a hybrid of tertiary and secondary. We were teenagers and finding our way, so being tied down was not necessarily on the forefront of our brains. The core V lasted four years, and it only ended because we were going to unis in different countries. We are still the best of friends. She is one of my childrens' godmothers, and they call her Auntie. We have acknowledged that we love one another, and Matt knows this. He told me. My best friend could not stand my ex, and she let it be known that she was there before her and would be there after her. (Who knew she would be right?)*

When I met Matt, it was not with the intent of our relationship always being open on my end. It was more along the lines of, "It is possible that I may meet someone, but I will never look for it." I just told him about how my previous relationships were structured. Non-monogamy was all I had ever experienced. Could I have been happy with monogamy? Apparently, yes. I am now. At that point, there was no need for a OPP because he was and still is the only man I have ever desired and been attracted to.

We talked about why the V worked for seven-ish years, and it is quite simple. They had minimal interaction. Several factors contributed to that, but their paths rarely crossed. She was not part of our daily lives. There were no children involved. I saw her when I had time. I will not say Matt came first, but our marriage did. She was secondary, and it had nothing to do with me putting her in that box. Time constraints and other commitments meant that was the way it had to be. We had opposite schedules. As she was getting off, I was heading in. She was a workaholic, so time off was rare. Thus, there was no need for me to spend 1-2 nights a week at her home. She had other relationships for almost all of the beginning years. He knew of her, but he took the stance of that part of my life had nothing to do with him. She "stayed in her lane" and "out of his way," so he had no issues. She was out of sight and not in his mind. Now that we have broken it down, I see how it is possible for him to have never felt compersion or developed the ability to care or take a keen interest in my relationship with her.

I know where it went wrong. Two points: when she made me her primary and when we decided to conceive. Si never wanted children, and I knew that from day one. She was adamant that she never wanted to be in a parental role. It was understood that we would be the only parents of any children. Second mummy or co-parenting was not part of any agreement. The sudden change had a negative impact because Matt was not part of the decision to make her a co-parent. Something that important HAS to be discussed.*

When I informed her that we were planning to conceive, she still stood by that original decision to not be involved in parenting. Necessary talks fell by the wayside. Matt suspected something was up when she took an unusual interest in being part of appointments. He questioned her about it, and she got offended. Looking back, was it suspicious? Hell yes. I say that necessary talks fell by the wayside because there is a hell of a lot of difference between seeing someone when possible (tertiary) versus scheduled time every day or multiple times a week, sharing holidays, birthdays, and inviting them to sleep over and ultimately move in to your home. The transition coincided with the pending birth of our first child, and it was too much at once. It was rushed integration. Silly, silly move. Would things have been different if we had put that transition on hold, focused on the baby, and talked about what this new status as co-primary/co-parent really meant and entailed? We had the wrong mentality; get it done before the baby arrives and carve out roles without discussing the pitfalls in great detail. Maybe I would have picked up on her cowgirl tendencies. He did. That was the beginning of the end. From that point forward, I cannot think of too many positive steps forward.

In this sense, yes, therapy has helped because I have had to break it down and own up to where I went wrong. I cannot blame anyone else when I knew I was no longer in love with her. I should have let her go. If that was not confirmation, losing all sexual interest in her should have been the telltale sign. I cannot blame Matt or Si when I went against what I wanted to make her happy and put him down. I did that in some very skewed sense of loyalty and need to level the field. Truth is, I was overcompensating because I did not love her the way I loved him.

I had to improve my listening skills. Nobody told me to dismiss his concerns. I did that on my own. Communication was not where it needed to be, and it is not that we were not talking. We did not spend enough time talking about the life-changing things. A drive thru marriage is not a healthy one. I did not want to hear anything that went against my new vision. Problem is that was not my vision. Resentment grew like bacteria. I did undermine him as a parent and my husband. I was wrong for what I did. And I sacrificed my marriage for someone like this:

She got off on me putting her wants and needs before Matt's and believing that our marriage was inferior to the relationship I had with her. She got off on feeling like she was number one in my life. She was happy when he left me. In her mind, that meant all of the love and attention that was going to him was going to be showered on her. She had succeeded in getting rid of him. To hell with whoever got hurt, but she was happy. The catch is she got pissed when Matt came back, and she realised that things were going to change.

I am learning about why I did what I did, and I cannot change the past. Therapy has helped to unmask some hard truths. One theme is common: nothing was done with malicious intent.

Am I open to seeking therapy with her one day? Not likely. I would have to really weigh the pros and cons. She has continued to try to rationalise her behaviour. That is irksome. My daughter was right when she told me, "I do not know why you thought I needed another mummy. No one can take your place." She is a smart little duckie.

I am still displeased. I will never let her have the power of making and keeping me stewing. The one thing that I cannot forgive is her hurting my child. She was innocent. She was not the one who had to answer where "Mummy Si" was or wipe tears when she would not show up or proved to be a constant source of disappointment.*She is not the one who had to try to convince a four year old that nothing was wrong with her. You do not spend four years with a child and cast them to the side because you are titty hurt. She is a real person with feelings, and even when he was strongly opposed to her having any contact, I fought against him so that she could have access. I have no qualms about admitting that I am thrilled that my child has completely shut her out. She associates my ex with being a source of hurt. The one time I asked her if she wanted to see my ex, she flipped out in French. She had the mother of all meltdowns. I have never seen my child that angry, but she lashed out. It was bad enough that we could not calm her down. She had to calm herself down. Since that day, mentioning my ex or even having pictures of her around has not been an option. No, she does not have anger issues. My ex is her trigger, and I do not think forcing her to go to counselling is the answer.

It has been a year of around the clock internal work, and despite my questioning why I am in therapy, good has come of it. I do feel like a better version of myself.
 
From FullofLove: "Lol. I am being a team player. Mags, this is not my kind of camping. I prefer glamping. A luxurious 4-5 star resort, Egyptian cotton sheets, memory foam, a cosy fireplace, safari tent accommodations, ensuite marble bath, Michelin starred meals, 24-hour room service, etc. are more up my alley."

Glamping is now my favorite word. I'm totally stealing that. I'm with you, FoL! Your youngsters would have enjoyed my outdoors ineptness too. Good for you about being a good sport about it all. I saw an ad for a unbelievably expensive South Africa safari vacation where everything except seeing the animals with one's own eyes was done by staff. The tents looked like they were for a maharaja on circuit. Huge, glamourous and gorgeous. Oh, and did I mention the daily feasts with locally sourced food cooked by professional chefs? Now that's glamping!

That is glamping! That sounds like the resort we stayed in a few years back. We were on the Maasai Mara Reserve. My favourite part was seeing the pride of lions. It screamed powerful. We captured it, and it seemed as if they were posing.

I was am trying to get back to Africa this year to glamp and witness the migration. We are eyeing Tanzania. I think our children would get a kick out of visiting the Serengeti and getting to see it in real life.

Some of those places are insanely expensive. The key is to do research and look for deals. 2014 will have sone glamping, and I am not going to break the bank to do it!
 
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