What is your "White Picket Fence"?

WingedVictory

New member
The "white picket fence" is the supposed ideal life for your average monogomous person. While I realize it's not what every mono person wants, it's the byword (or phrase, as the case may be) for domestic happily ever after.

I've noticed one of the most common happily ever afters people talk about on here is the elusive triad (whether that is via the infamous "unicorn hunt" or not). For them, this is the "white picket fence".

For me, it'd be living in one house with both of my primaries, being open about our relationship(s) with our friends and families, and maybe (maybe[\i]) even having kids - preferably one with each of my guys if we do decide to go there. We have a number of obstacles to this right now, but are doing our best to work through them. I have hope that within a year or two (perhaps more, though I hope not) this could realistically happen.

I'm curious; what is it for others on this board? What is your idea of domestic bliss? Are you living it now? Are you working toward it? Has it changed over time for you? Inquiring minds (or at least mine) want to know. :)
 
20 acres
5 homes-1 for me, 1 for Maca, 1 for GG, 1 for whoever and 1 for visitors
already have the kids, grandkids, shared living, being out etc.
 
I always wanted a house full of cats; then my mother died and left me a house full of cats. Mission accomplished. I am living proof.
 
Mine is relationship with someone I share a home and finances with, maybe another kid or two and both of us to have the time and freedom to also have other relationships or maybe just sex with other people.
 
I'm not poly, but my partner is, so my "white picket fence" ideal has been changing over the last couple years, probably to the point where I don't know what my ideal would be anymore.

After my divorce, I would have eagerly jumped full-bore into another marriage and gone full picket fence, mixed finances/assets, etc., but it seems in hindsight that I didn't really know how to define MYSELF and what I really wanted outside of a particular role (wife).

Now? I'm not keen on the idea of mixing finances or assets. Especially since I purchased my own house post-divorce and don't want to have to lose that for ANYONE.

My retirement ideal would be to move to the city. I consider Boston "my city" but honestly, anywhere urban with a nice public transportation system and some good culture is a good target. If my partner and any of his partners at that time are interested in doing the same, maybe we could all live nearby and save ourselves the drive (and save the other young whippersnappers from us old folk driving and yelling at the "Road Hogs" in our way). Since I have no idea where the future will take us at this point, I'm not hung up on it happening, though.

tl;dr - post-divorce, this is all in flux. No idea what my fences look like anymore, and I'm not sure I'll know until I'm there.

As an aside, this is the one thing that scared the poop out of me, as a newly-divorced mono chick going into a poly relationship - what the HELL is my future going to look like? What can I count on? It doesn't follow the script! Well, apparently neither did my marriage, so even though I had a script, it didn't mean much of a damn. I'm finally (about two years in) getting comfortable with the idea of there being no script, and I don't even really think much about where we'll be in the future. We may still be right where we are now, and that's not a bad thing - it doesn't mean we're "stagnant", and that took some time to realize.
 
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Mine will change I'm sure, as I'm very new to this. Right now, DH is dating a woman and I am single (well, except for being married to DH of course).

Ideally I would like to see us living together, simply because of who this particular woman is. She is DH's ex wife and mom to my stepkids. We'd have a LOT of talking to do before things could get to the point where two very different parenting ideals could be combined into one household, but it's something I'd consider. If that happened, I wouldn't mind my "other person" living there too. Or maybe they have their own place nearby with THEIR primary.

My ideal is a big family, whether we have separate residences or not. I'd like everyone to at least be friendly with each other and have a mutual trust and understanding.
 
I am almost at my ideal now. I have two wonderful guys that I am with most of the time. I would love to have all of us under one roof but I don't know at this point if that is really practical but Bob is here with us most of the time as it is so that's great but its always sad to see him leave in the evenings. I would love for Keith to find someone to be involved with (male or female) and hope that we would all get along.

I think my ideal will change over time but I think we are all pretty happy with the way things are at the moment.
 
My picket fence has

My picket fence has me plus two main people living under one roof; my husband and Ms/Mr X. I think I'd be happiest if I had two partners so that where one left off the other would begin with some overlap. Maybe even a lot of overlap. :D

My husband works out of town most of the week, so I have a lot of time alone. My ideal would be to have someone in my life that complemented his schedule. I'd love to have someone around most of the time. Not that I'd want for us to be exclusive to each other socially or emotionally, but I'd love to have a busier household. I think I may have a community mindset. :eek:
 
My picket fence would have the four of us continuing to live together. Issues with me and woodsmith working out. Issues regarding Darkeye/Lamian/Primal working out. And a loss of hierarchy. And me being able to stay home and be a housewife/service sub to all of them and continuing to be Primal's slave (and us being able to go 24/
 
Reading through this thread made me start imagining my "white picket fence", with the result that I was totally unable to do that. My mind refuses to paint a "goal picture" for me. Apparently I am too excited about the incompleteness of the present and all the possibilities in the future to limit my options. 'Cause I think that too clear a "plan" in my mind would make me blind for other options that might come along.
 
Searching For My Picket Fence

I am brand new here and really trying to figure out exactly what my white picket fence would look like. :p

My husband and I have been married almost 8 years now. About 4 years ago we started swinging. While we haven't done it a whole lot as parents to young children we have enjoyed it. A couple of years ago we met a couple who were polyamorous. While it didn't seem to work well for them, it really did get me thinking about how it could work.

For awhile now we have been talking about polyamory. It really seems to call to me. My husband's ideal would be a triad. It isn't that he's against other options, but that it appeals to him the most. I will admit that my bi-sexual side has been proving to me that I am more bi-sexual than I thought which makes this idea sound good.

In the end though, we are just hoping to follow where the wind takes us and to whatever new relationships are out there...
 
My picket fence.....

My white picket fence is Lady and Sith and I all living together again. Happy and together. In a home we own. Surrounded by our kids and friends and families. And things worked out with Lady's ex in a way that he is at least civil for the kids sakes. And open abundant communication all around. Life would pretty stinking perfect. :p
 
There are a lot of white picket fences of cohabitating. I guess my thing is that I'm not sure that would work for me. I mean, would I love for both of them to be close? Absolutely! Except, I know neither of them are comfortable living together. I may be the type to love a big naked puppy pile of people sleeping in a giant ass bed every night, but that's not necessarily the kind of thing that the people I'm in love with want! So for me it's hard to imagine a goal that means it's EXACTLY what I want knowing full well it's not what they want or makes them comfortable.

So I will say I guess, that the best is, a house of our own. With a yard, I want a willow tree in the back that keeps it shady and cool in the summer. An area for the kid to grow her garden, and a dog. Yeah, I want a freakin' dog! A Yorkie! I want to figure out sewing so I can make all the vintage clothing I want and can't afford! I want hubby happy at his job, I want to make a semi decent living at my writing. I want BF within half an hour to an hour driving distance. I want him to have his position as Chaplain in the military and I want him to have the family he wants when he's ready for it.

I want a few, not a lot, close friends. To go to drag shows with, to take dancing, and to have laid back pic nics in the yard and ride bikes with. I want to be near water so I can swim and skinny dip! I want a girlfriend some day that is okay with me not being 'gay enough' to be lesbian, but too gay to be a straight. I want my kids to all graduate, and do what they want after. College, training, traveling. I want weekly massages!




Oh, and I still want to be a Suicide Girl. Though I'm probably too old now and will have to see if they take Suicide Women.
 
I'd love to be living in one house with both of my primaries, being open about our relationship with our friends and families

Unfortunately I dont see this happening as there are issues right now, but are doing our best to work through them. I am hoping that within a the next couple months (perhaps more, though I hope not) these issues will be gone.
 
Tree house in BC.
 
South of France, somewhere near Marseille or Cassis. Preferably somewhere near the sea, with both my loves and other assorted lovers nearby. Probably living with Fly, with Moonlight in her own place but very close. Getting fat on olive oil and ratatouille, and sloshed on rosé every afternoon. Kitties, chickens, a garden, sunshine and salt water. We have a lot of friends in the area, so people visiting, letting me cook for them, would make my heart happy.

Moonlight would never move overseas, though, so it's mine and Fly's dream, and is sort of our retirement plan. We need to stay put for at least another 9 years, anyway, because of Kiddo's mom.

So, in more near-future terms, my picket fence would be everything as it is, except with Moonlight living closer, hopefully in my neighborhood or next door.
 
I want a nice little compound in South America. Running a business or two. Me and my boyfriend and our girlfriend and my kids living there and our home open to everyone. I kinda envision a variation of a commune type set up where we are not the only people there.
 
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