Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

The pic of us kissing is his cover photo. My mom said it was inappropriate. I told her that I have pics of DarkKnight and I kissing on my own page. The reply was that, yes, but he's your HUSBAND. So that makes it ok. I told her that PunkRockAwesomesauce is my boyfriend, so that makes it ok too.

Oh! Also, I need to live my life for Christ, NOT for myself.

DarkKnight said I should have told her that god came to me in a dream and said this was ok. Sigh.

Communists always have something to do with it. Obama is the reason I am poly, somehow. Feh!
 
I am sorry you are going through this Bluebird.

But I will admit, their blaming communists and Obama made me laugh.

*hugs* My own son outed me to my judgmental family out of anger. (He is 20 now) Oh well either family accepts me or they don't.
 
DarkKnight is planning to tell his parents this weekend. His main concern is to get through it without having to leave out of emotional overload. He told me he wants them to understand, above all, that he is happy, loved and that this was his idea - not something that I forced on him to accept.

I will not be in attendance. We talked today about how to bring it up. I told him that when they ask what I am doing, he could tell them that I am out with my friend, PunkRockAwesomesauce and then go from there.

DarkKnight has such a gentle nature, and his mom is a very strong personality. She had him in tears a couple weekends ago just because she was upset that I was out playin WarMachine, and he had to transport our daughter from a sleepover. Apparently that is my job, since I contribute nothing to our life otherwise.
 
Wow. The communists and the President of the United States are to blame? Okay! I am sorry you are having such a rough time. I hope it works out better with DarkKnight's mum and dad. His mum sounds like she may not take it well, but let's hope she is open-minded. I wish him well.
 
I had a fun but busy day today and got to spend some much needed time with my husband. My sister did not call me, but my brother posted a pic of a condom on my facebook wall with the caption: Safe sex. Get married, stay faithful. This is somewhat hilarious, because he lives with his girlfriend and they are not married. He has not talked to me at all, so clearly he has heard gossip. I messaged him telling him to not post garbage on my wall, and if he was interested in something that wasn't hearsay, to call me, but he didn't. Radio silence from the rest of my family. This is good news, in my opinion. I don't want drama. I want to be left alone, for the most part!

PunkRockAwesomesauce is coming over tomorrow afternoon and will stay through the weekend. Originally DarkKnight and I were going to spend the day together tomorrow, running errands, but PunkRock misses me and I miss him. Plus, DarkKnight wants to learn how to play some Star Wars miniatures game, that PunkRock owns. So, he is coming over. :)
 
I'm so sorry Bluebird. With "unconditional family love" like that who needs enemies huh? My favorite part was that your mom thought it was so awful she had to tell everyone she knows immediately. I would have told her, well you raised me so really this is your fault and the whole family knows it. But I know I'm awful, I just spent a week fantasizing about telling my dad about my second relationship whenever he finally gets around to admitting he's gotten engaged to the woman he left my mom for. He's chickened out twice already so I know he's worried about it. My brothers still aren't speaking to him though I have no idea how it affects them. I imagine it being so funny watching him become judgmental of my choices 5 seconds after I congratulate him.

I certainly hope your weekend improves!
 
DarkKnight said I should have told her that god came to me in a dream and said this was ok. Sigh.

OK, spitting drink all over keyboard. :D Too funny! I'll have to tell that one to my brother, he'd get a kick out of it.

Communists always have something to do with it. Obama is the reason I am poly, somehow. Feh!

OK, our parents must be related or maybe they just listen to the same radio shows.:p
 
This was my status on Facebook last night: Ate food, wrote two Chemistry quiz retakes and gave one to my daughter - she scored 30 points higher than on the original - and then researched and bought some stuff online for my History of War co-op class next Thursday. I'm going to cover the different types of aircraft used in the battles. Hopefully the teens will find it interesting. I've spent the rest of the evening reading blogs and talking to PunkRockAwesomesauce on Facebook Messenger. I might go to sleep in a bit, so tomorrow gets here sooner.

My sister's comment: Im not comfortable with ur choices.please don't air ur business on Facebook cause my son doesn't need to know that shit

Yeeeeaaaaaah. My nephew is 14.

I deleted her comment and then sent her this message: I am not asking you to approve my choices, or my posts. I am not ashamed of my lifestyle, and it is a very common one in the US - more than you might think. There is never anything inappropriate on my Facebook, but if you are afraid that <nephew> might see something that is X-rated, you can have him unfriend me on here. That is your absolute right as a parent. But as an adult, I will not censor myself to pretend that someone I love very much does not exist. Especially since I spend half my time with <PunkRockAwesomesauce>. If either of you spent any time at all reading my page, you would have known waaaaaay before this.

Sis - That kind of lifestyle is one that my kids dont need to know about. It doesnt have to be xrated to be morally degrading to ur husband n ur family.

Me - That is where we disagree. It isn't degrading to anyone. No one, my husband or my kids feel that way.

Sis - Its selfish

Sis - Ur crazy if u think that

Me - Nope, not at all. It isn't selfish. It's actually very open. Selfishness would cause this type of lifestyle to fall apart very quickly.

Sis - Wow u have lost ur marbles.

Me - No, I've just lost monogamy.

Sis - Just because people do that it doesnt make it right

Me - Make it right? To who? God? You know I am not religious.

Sis - Not only religious but morally

Me - What is morally wrong? Based on who's morals?

Sis - Ur married

Me - Right.

Sis - Y get married

Me - Because I love my husband very much. I don't intend to get divorced.

Sis - I hope for your sake thats how it plays out, but i dont see <DarkKnight> accepting this forever

Me - Um, he SUGGESTED it.

Sis - what

Sis - He told u to get a boyfriend?

Me - yes.

Me - You are jumping to conclusions with out any facts.

Me - Making drama where there is none to be had.

Sis - Ur kidding right?

Me - no.

My sister then opened a dialogue with DarkKnight, who confirmed everything I said. She said she felt like an asshole, because she had thought I had done all this and had destroyed my marriage. DarkKnight said our marriage was as strong, if not stronger than it had ever been. Then, this:

Sis - Is DarkKnight gay?

Me - Ha! No, not at all.

Me - I am in a very very stable realtionship pattern called a Vee. He and PunkRock do not interact sexually with each other, or with me together. We have completely separate relationships.

Me - They will go out with me together, like shopping sometimes, or we have dinner together, or play trivia. Because they are friendly with each other.

Me - Morally, love is good.

Me - Listen, no one is asking you to practice poly. No one is asking you to approve of our choices. Because, well, you don't have that right. You can be judgmental, but you don't get to pass judgement on us. We're consenting adults, I am very much in love with two guys who treat me like I'm a princess. No one in my relationship is being harmed or hurt in any way. Nobody is being deceived or coerced.

Sis - If its right for u thats fine, but its not something i want to b around or my kids subject to

Me - There is nothing to be subjected to. I don't fuck my husband OR my boyfriend in front of my kids, or anyone's kids.

Me - It's easy to explain to kids. Some people love more than one person. Explanation over. It isn't rocket science.

Me - How do you explain gay marriage? Some people love the same sex of people. Explanation over.

Me - The explanation is simple. It doesn't need embellishment. Why? Because it is the truth. Some people are able to love more than one person. It doesn't hurt anyone else.

Me - I find it really interesting that someone who says they are liberal finds this morally reprehensible. Seriously think about what you are saying. I know you are shocked. But there really isn't any change in our relationship. I am around children everyday who know about my boyfriend, and nothing terrible has happened to any of them. Why? Because there is nothing going on that affects them! If anything, they get to see people who are happy, living happy lives. *shrugs*

Sis - Do u

Me - Live a happy life? Hell yes.

Me - There is little to no drama in my day-to-day life. Life is too short to be living it for someone else, or spending time pretending to be something you're not. I am happy being me. I am happy being loved.

Me - Every single one of my friends in real life know that I am poly. Most have met DarkKnight AND PunkRock. Some may question whether it would ever work for them, but none of them question that it works for us. They can see in person that it does.

Me - Anyway, it is almost 11. I have to get up tomorrow and do a million things. If you have any questions about how this works, I am very happy to answer them. It sounds like you figured out some stuff on your own that was absolutely wrong, so I hope you come to me first before believing your own ideas.

Sis - I'm all set

Me - I hope so, because it doesn't sound like it much.

She did have a long conversation with DarkKnight and he really wanted to strangle her. She really just wanted to pass judgement and not change her mind at all. We will see what happens this weekend. Sorry for posting the entire conversation, but I really wanted a record of it.
 
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Oh! DarkKnight wants me to copy his convo too. So, here it is:

Hubby - Hey Sis. Calm Yourself.

Hubby - Seriously. Why do you care? Your sister is happy and so am I. Nothing else matters.

Sis - How could u possibly b ok with some other man banging ur wife?

Hubby - Probably because she's happy and I'm not the jealous type.

Hubby - And it's not just about sex.

Sis - Thats the worst part

Hubby - What does that even mean?

Hubby - It is possible to love more than one person at a time, you know. People do it all the time.

Hubby - Not that you should really let it affect your life. Go about your business and let us go about ours. I promise I won't bother you with details with my sex life.

Sis - Well actuall I was feeling like an asshole

Sis - Only because i thoyght u were a great guy for my sister n shefucked this marriage up but hey if ur good with it then great

Hubby - Yeah, most people's reactions have started with a "poor DarkKnight". I find it kinda funny. I'm glad people care about me, but I hope they have a higher opinion of my wife than that suggests.

Sis - no it just dipped. Selfish is what I think

Sis - But hey who cares right

Hubby - Not really. selfish would have been to cheat on me. We talked about our needs first and I suggested an open marriage.

Hubby - So anyway, I hope I have alleviated at least some of your concerns. Our marriage is actually stronger than ever.

Sis - U have to sacrifice some needs for the sake of others. Its y u married.

Hubby - I don't know about you, but I married because I love your sister.

Sis - Well she obviously doesnt remember her vows

Hubby - She sure does. She wrote them after all. She laughs with me and cries with me, comforts me and supports me, loves me faithfully through good times and bad in spite of the obstacles we may face together.

Sis - Faithfully huh?

Hubby - yup. She's not cheating on me.

Sis - U guys have fun. Crazy asses, but its definitely not faithfully either.

Hubby - to me, faithfully means, that her love for me has never wavered. She has remained constant and dedicated. So she has room in her heart for someone else. It doesn't diminish her love for me, nor mine for hers.

Hubby - And yes, we have fun. :)

Hubby - I also concede that we are crazy asses, but not for the reasons you're thinking.

Hubby - And with that I must bid you adieu. Sleep beckons. Good night and fare thee well.
 
Honestly, I would not have wasted that much of my time responding to that. You both handled it well. I would not worry about trying to make her see your POV. At best, respect her wishes as far as your nephew. I am not sure how much contact you have with him, though. Truth is, people will believe what they want and nothing you say will change it. If you are happy, keep doing you, honey.
 
My extended family lives in NY, we live in Maryland. I love my nephew more than life itself - I was my sister's labor coach and I was the first one to see him and touch him. He is extremely intelligent and he messages me lots. He came down last summer and stayed for a week with is - we went white water rafting, camping and tubing.

My sister has pretty much raised her children ignorant of the real world, in my opinion. She doesn't want them to know that being gay is an option. When my nephew came down, he was really surprised when we explained that my daughter's best friend was a boy and that he was gay, and no one made fun of him or even cared much. He told us that in his school, that would not be a good thing. My sister was angry we even talked about it, but uh, it was unavoidable. We homeschool and the kid was over during the week, and no one would dream I telling him to pretend to be anything other than himself. My daughter's younger sister was adopted by two moms, and we also discussed how that was perfectly fine.

My sister JUST got married last week, after living with her boyfriend on and off for 15 years. He beats her all the time - she fights him back. I have called social services on them in the past because they fight and scream in front of the kids. To say that she thrives on drama is an understatement. She will use this as a weapon and stir up my mom like nothing doing.

There is a reason they are in NY and I am far away. I really don't want to lose my niece and nephews, but only the oldest is on Facebook and he certainly hasn't said anything yet. There is really nothing inappropriate at all on my page!
 
Wow. I always look at parents who do that kind of oddly because knowing about something will not prompt a child to try something or even desire whatever it is. Is your sister the type of person to keep your nephew from hanging around you for fear that you might have PunkRock around him or that he might see something she does not want him to see?

Your sister sounds dysfunctional and like she needs to handle her own affairs before butting into your business and life. She was all the way in Jamaica. She should have been enjoying her new husband and the sandy beaches. Not harassing you about what you are doing. I mean, seriously. Is what you are doing going to impede her life in any way? As far as your mum, I think she is already stirred up. (The communists and the President of the US? Hello!)

At the end of the day, your sister, mum, and entire family might not like what you are doing, but it is your life to live. Maybe they will come around. If not, oh well.
 
"Wow, youve lost your marbles." - ~"No, I've just lost my monogamy."

That made me giggle. Awesome reply!

Sorry to hear your sister is being such a PITA. I think you're dealing with it very well.
 
DarkKnight told his parents today. He says it went better than he thought. Meaning, his mother has completely disowned me, but not him. :rolleyes:

He told his dad first. He said his dad seemed open to talk about poly, though he didn't really understand why it would work for us. He said he thinks his dad would be willing to still attend events with PunkRockAwesomesauce there.

His mother though, no way. He said she was very indignant about what a gold digger I am, how she has always had me pegged, and what a terrible person I am. Sigh. DarkKnight says she told him he could move home with them. He said she would without hesitation pay for a divorce. He reassured both his parents multiple times that he is not looking to divorce, that our marriage is stronger than ever, but his mom would have none of it. She feels he is being taken advantage of, and he just doesn't realize it. She told him that when she dies, I am getting none of her money. :rolleyes: They don't have any money anyway. But yeah, that isn't even an issue for me.
 
The last few days have been good. PunkRockAwesomesauce has been staying over. The energy between us is amazeballs. I love waking up with him wrapped around me, and it's crazy that it has only been 5 weeks since we started dating. It feels like forever, in the most wonderful way.

Oh, and I injured him at some point this week! He has some small bruises on the head of his penis. I had forgotten that was even possible, but I actually did that once before to my ex-husband. My vaginasaur is all like, RAWR! Honestly, I don't know how I did it, but I did. He says it doesn't hurt though.

Today is my 8th anniversary with Dark Knight. He worked all day, so I was with PunkRockAwesomesauce until DarkKnight finished his shift. I really didn't want PunkRock to leave - we had SO much of a connection today, I felt. Just looking at him had energy crackling. That said, of course I wanted to spend time with DarkKnight tonight!

We went and had a really romantic dinner at a Mediterranean place - we were seated at a booth in the very back, and half the time, DarkKnight sat on the same side as me, being snugly. I had some terrible tasting Muscato, but the food was excellent. Afterward we went to the mall and walked around. I bought a cami, some bracelets and three new pairs of knee socks - one of which has storm troopers on them. DarkKnight got two new pairs of jeans, and he looks super sexy with them on! For a brief moment, we contemplated getting matching infinity symbol tattoos, but we didn't. I have tattoos already, but he doesn't, and he has always been hesitant. He told me he thought it might hurt PunkRockAwesomesauce's feelings, and maybe someday the three of us would get tattoos together. He quickly added that he'd be ok not getting one. Lol it really isn't his thing, but I could tell he was really tempted to do it tonight! We just got back home - without any new ink - so I thought I'd update here while I wait for our daughter to get to bed so we can get to bed. :)

DarkKnight and I met in Boston, so when we eloped, we went back to the city that meant so much to us. I wrote these vows to him:

You are the love of my life, my best friend, my soulmate, my everything. On this day, in front of these witnesses, I devote myself to you. I promise to love and respect you, to comfort and support you, to believe in and be proud of you. I promise to laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together.

I've learned from you that I don't have to be perfect to be loved, but you inspire me to be the best woman that I can be - for you, for me, and for us. I look forward to spending the rest of my life making you feel as happy and loved as you make me feel. From this day forward, I will be your wife.
 
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Happy Anniversary to you and Dark Knight.
 
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