HappiestManAlive
New member
We've been working on healing from Adrian's violent departure in March, Violet, Lana, and I - and it's been difficult. Lana basically shut down completely. Would spend days on end in her room, wouldn't talk to us, no matter what we asked it was always "I'm fine, nothing's wrong" - no matter how much we tried.
In September we found out Violet was pregnant. In October she miscarried.
Lana withdrew further, and we found out after basically browbeating her into talking to us that she had also had a miscarriage at about the same time.
This put a lot into perspective! She hadn't even told us she thought she might be preggers! Long talks ensued. The first in MONTHS.
And then she... Left. She would take her car and disappear for days. We knew there was another guy she liked - I encouraged her to branch out, find herself.
Longer story short - we caught her lying to us, witholding information, and - in an open, poly relationship - CHEATING!
All we asked was that we be kept in the loop and not lied too. Frankly that's the ONLY requirement ANY of us have with the others; we had spoken with her specifically about this other guy and her intentions with him. She lied, she slept with him and lied some more, she kept things from us and lied some more. And now she's spreading crap to people we know, claiming we never loved her, we abused her (WHAT?!) and that she never lied to us about anything - we only claim that because I'm jealous of the other guy (the one I talked her into dating..?), and is interfering with our social circles and even Violets work!
Violet and I are tight as ever, but the strain of Lana - the kindest, sweetest girl we've ever known - pulling this crap after everything we went through as a triad with Adrianne, after the disaster with Anne...
We're pulling the plug. There are 2 people we both would love to explore things with but neither of us has any faith left after this. We've been with Lana about a year and a half, known her for 3-4 years, and we don't know who this person is all of the sudden. Not setting myself or ourselves up for any more of this.
In September we found out Violet was pregnant. In October she miscarried.
Lana withdrew further, and we found out after basically browbeating her into talking to us that she had also had a miscarriage at about the same time.
This put a lot into perspective! She hadn't even told us she thought she might be preggers! Long talks ensued. The first in MONTHS.
And then she... Left. She would take her car and disappear for days. We knew there was another guy she liked - I encouraged her to branch out, find herself.
Longer story short - we caught her lying to us, witholding information, and - in an open, poly relationship - CHEATING!
All we asked was that we be kept in the loop and not lied too. Frankly that's the ONLY requirement ANY of us have with the others; we had spoken with her specifically about this other guy and her intentions with him. She lied, she slept with him and lied some more, she kept things from us and lied some more. And now she's spreading crap to people we know, claiming we never loved her, we abused her (WHAT?!) and that she never lied to us about anything - we only claim that because I'm jealous of the other guy (the one I talked her into dating..?), and is interfering with our social circles and even Violets work!
Violet and I are tight as ever, but the strain of Lana - the kindest, sweetest girl we've ever known - pulling this crap after everything we went through as a triad with Adrianne, after the disaster with Anne...
We're pulling the plug. There are 2 people we both would love to explore things with but neither of us has any faith left after this. We've been with Lana about a year and a half, known her for 3-4 years, and we don't know who this person is all of the sudden. Not setting myself or ourselves up for any more of this.