First of all I wish to say that overall things are not bad. I believe they could be better but they could also be a great deal worse. In saying that, I as still having a problem with one thing. How to keep balance with effort.
After 15 months of being in a Triangle with my wife of 26 years and my girlfriend, I have noticed that working on one relationship often has negative consequences with the other. In other words, if I see a problem growing with my wife and I work on fixing that problem, it seems to have a negative effect on my relationship with my girlfriend. This is often also true when I am working on an issue with my girlfriend.
I don't feel that they are intentionally making things difficult for me but I struggle with this. I have tried working this from every angle but I have found no solution to this "phenomenon."
They are both aware that I feel this way and neither of them has denied that this is an issue. They often shift from being lovers themselves to being metamours. It is easier for me when they are close but when they are not, I am often worn ragged trying to give both of them the attention they both deserve. I am very happy and deeply in love with both of them but I am also exhausted. They both want, and deserve, time with me alone and I also enjoy the time with both as well but time is limited.
Maybe I am worrying too much about this but at times I am very distressed. I find myself wanting to be in two different places and I have to choose who to make happy and who to disappoint. It is not simply a task of keeping track of hours. The demands of life often cause one to need support but when they both need me at the same time, how do I split myself? I hope some of you experienced groups can give me some advice. This may seem like a small problem compared to others but is real to me.
After 15 months of being in a Triangle with my wife of 26 years and my girlfriend, I have noticed that working on one relationship often has negative consequences with the other. In other words, if I see a problem growing with my wife and I work on fixing that problem, it seems to have a negative effect on my relationship with my girlfriend. This is often also true when I am working on an issue with my girlfriend.
I don't feel that they are intentionally making things difficult for me but I struggle with this. I have tried working this from every angle but I have found no solution to this "phenomenon."
They are both aware that I feel this way and neither of them has denied that this is an issue. They often shift from being lovers themselves to being metamours. It is easier for me when they are close but when they are not, I am often worn ragged trying to give both of them the attention they both deserve. I am very happy and deeply in love with both of them but I am also exhausted. They both want, and deserve, time with me alone and I also enjoy the time with both as well but time is limited.
Maybe I am worrying too much about this but at times I am very distressed. I find myself wanting to be in two different places and I have to choose who to make happy and who to disappoint. It is not simply a task of keeping track of hours. The demands of life often cause one to need support but when they both need me at the same time, how do I split myself? I hope some of you experienced groups can give me some advice. This may seem like a small problem compared to others but is real to me.