So I'm going to start with quoting from my introductory post, below.
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"I would say that I'm semi-new to polyamory as a practice. A past girlfriend and I tried to incorporate it into our relationship (before even realizing it was a "thing") at some point, but with a wrong match, many years ago. Since then, I've been in monogamous-minded relationships filled with dishonesty, but have met and seen polyamory in practice and am quite drawn to it. I'm tired of the lies, manipulation, and codependency that society tends to turn a blind eye to in romantic relationships.
I don't want to own or be owned, but I do want to love and be loved. I've been exploring my social scene (offline and OkCupid) since becoming officially single about 4 months ago and have met some amazing people. I have started forming some wonderful connections without expectations or obligations and have never been more happy, stable-feeling and satisfied in my love/intimate/social life.
I was originally defining myself as "in an open relationship with myself", as I am loyal and committed to myself, but have semi-casual partners. At this point, I spend a lot of my free time with one guy (who I was previously in an unsuccessful serious relationship with, before we did a lot of soul-searching on our own time), (but he is not excited about non-monogamy...), I am very excited about another guy (who happens to be a transman) with whom I click crazy good (I guess OKC's 99% can be pretty accurate!) and just got together with a m/f couple yesterday for our first outing and we all agreed that the energy and chemistry and friendship-potential was all there pretty strongly. There is another guy that I've connected with well online/phone who lives in Colorado and travels frequently who is looking for a long-distance poly relationship with several women spread across the country. We also click very, very well."
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It's all kind of spinning my head around, all the chances for truly and honestly connecting with people. I crave deep, meaningful connections and would prefer a small, family-like network of strong bonds rather than a larger network of acquaintances.
The chick of the couple, R, texted me yesterday to clarify how they feel about our meeting on Sunday and to asked me what I thought about our compatibility. I was honest about how I felt and my concerns about time management. They are both very easy going and we all seem to be the types to work towards out ambitions, but without force and letting things happen naturally with our coaxing. They asked to get together this weekend and I want to shoot for Sunday, but I feel like I already have plans that I am not able to remember right now. We'll see.
So, holy cow, I hung out with F last night (the poly transman) and, gah, I am ridiculously excited about him. There is this level of comfort with him that I haven't felt so quickly and deeply in... pfft, a loooong time. I'm crazy attracted to him, too. It seems we're on similar pages, although he's slightly more reserved. We're actually hanging out again this evening, which is somewhat against my rules, but I don't know when I'll be able to see him again (a week from today? And then I'm going to be out of town, camping for 5 days and then planning on camping for another handful of days a half week after with Í) and... ooh, he's just intoxicating to me, which he has voiced feeling the same about me as well.
Now, Í, the ex-ish (who is strict monogamous)... he knows where I stand. I don't give him explicit details, but I don't hide that I'm seeing (and am very interesting in seeing) F. I haven't discussed the couple with him as I am still feeling that potential out and he's having a hard time understanding and I'm thinking "one thing at a time", although I don't want manipulation to have any bearings in my world, so we'll see how it goes. We're not committed, but we have a strong bond. He's not strongly emotional with me (it's his nature), but he does reach out and show his vulnerabilities on occasion. Our communication is much better than it ever was - he's learning that when I'm upset, that doesn't mean I'm going to drop him out of my life, and I'm learning that he truly appreciates full honesty more than being coddled (don't we all, though?).
So now, I just have to find time for all of this! I'm worried that when fall semester comes (in like 5 weeks!), I'm going to have to cut back on everything and hang out with the backup-singing crickets and cobweb-prepping spiders, but I'll figure things out when that time comes.
--
"I would say that I'm semi-new to polyamory as a practice. A past girlfriend and I tried to incorporate it into our relationship (before even realizing it was a "thing") at some point, but with a wrong match, many years ago. Since then, I've been in monogamous-minded relationships filled with dishonesty, but have met and seen polyamory in practice and am quite drawn to it. I'm tired of the lies, manipulation, and codependency that society tends to turn a blind eye to in romantic relationships.
I don't want to own or be owned, but I do want to love and be loved. I've been exploring my social scene (offline and OkCupid) since becoming officially single about 4 months ago and have met some amazing people. I have started forming some wonderful connections without expectations or obligations and have never been more happy, stable-feeling and satisfied in my love/intimate/social life.
I was originally defining myself as "in an open relationship with myself", as I am loyal and committed to myself, but have semi-casual partners. At this point, I spend a lot of my free time with one guy (who I was previously in an unsuccessful serious relationship with, before we did a lot of soul-searching on our own time), (but he is not excited about non-monogamy...), I am very excited about another guy (who happens to be a transman) with whom I click crazy good (I guess OKC's 99% can be pretty accurate!) and just got together with a m/f couple yesterday for our first outing and we all agreed that the energy and chemistry and friendship-potential was all there pretty strongly. There is another guy that I've connected with well online/phone who lives in Colorado and travels frequently who is looking for a long-distance poly relationship with several women spread across the country. We also click very, very well."
--
It's all kind of spinning my head around, all the chances for truly and honestly connecting with people. I crave deep, meaningful connections and would prefer a small, family-like network of strong bonds rather than a larger network of acquaintances.
The chick of the couple, R, texted me yesterday to clarify how they feel about our meeting on Sunday and to asked me what I thought about our compatibility. I was honest about how I felt and my concerns about time management. They are both very easy going and we all seem to be the types to work towards out ambitions, but without force and letting things happen naturally with our coaxing. They asked to get together this weekend and I want to shoot for Sunday, but I feel like I already have plans that I am not able to remember right now. We'll see.
So, holy cow, I hung out with F last night (the poly transman) and, gah, I am ridiculously excited about him. There is this level of comfort with him that I haven't felt so quickly and deeply in... pfft, a loooong time. I'm crazy attracted to him, too. It seems we're on similar pages, although he's slightly more reserved. We're actually hanging out again this evening, which is somewhat against my rules, but I don't know when I'll be able to see him again (a week from today? And then I'm going to be out of town, camping for 5 days and then planning on camping for another handful of days a half week after with Í) and... ooh, he's just intoxicating to me, which he has voiced feeling the same about me as well.
Now, Í, the ex-ish (who is strict monogamous)... he knows where I stand. I don't give him explicit details, but I don't hide that I'm seeing (and am very interesting in seeing) F. I haven't discussed the couple with him as I am still feeling that potential out and he's having a hard time understanding and I'm thinking "one thing at a time", although I don't want manipulation to have any bearings in my world, so we'll see how it goes. We're not committed, but we have a strong bond. He's not strongly emotional with me (it's his nature), but he does reach out and show his vulnerabilities on occasion. Our communication is much better than it ever was - he's learning that when I'm upset, that doesn't mean I'm going to drop him out of my life, and I'm learning that he truly appreciates full honesty more than being coddled (don't we all, though?).
So now, I just have to find time for all of this! I'm worried that when fall semester comes (in like 5 weeks!), I'm going to have to cut back on everything and hang out with the backup-singing crickets and cobweb-prepping spiders, but I'll figure things out when that time comes.