Postalpagan
New member
I am a 51 year old man married for second time who is eager to have poly relationship(s), but find I am hitting a wall. My wife, who is 40 and was poly and single when we met seems to find other men everytime she turns around. She has male friends that she spends time with and currently has an emotional relationship, but no sex, with another man who is married. Although I don't think its a good idea that this is happening behind his wife's back. When I try to find other women, it is an exercise in frustration. Once in a while I run into women who assume because I always say I am married (honesty here) that I am on the brink of divorce and lining up my next wife (nope) or that I only want a mistress (again nope). A single female online friend who is poly told me that she assumes this when she sees married men on dating sites and it jives with what I have found. Also, I get women who are looking for a sugardaddy/instant husband and insist that even though we just met, she is sooo much better for me than my wife (no drama wanted here, so block) . It seems to me that it is 100 times easier for women, regardless of marital status, to meet other men than it is for men to meet other women , especially since I believe that 97% of women firmly believe that their purpose in life is to marry THE ONE. I even tried ourtime since I thought maybe 50+ ladies would have outgrown the drama and the obcession with the fairy tale, but nope, profile after profile seeking "the one".
My question guys, is how on earth do you meet women who are genuinely interested in poly, not drama queens, needy, waiting for a doctor or lawyer, wanting a ring at any price, and can respect your wife so that she will be comfortable allowing a secondary relationship? I have received a suggestion to try "alternative groups". I am Pagan and last year at PPD, there was a table from a Poly Meetup group based in Indy, but with children with me, I wasn't really free to talk with them. Pagans as a group tend to be more receptive to poly, but almost all Pagan events are on Saturdays when I always work unless I can plan about a year ahead. I also received an invitation to join MENSA, but again, events are on Saturdays. I have somewhat of an interest in ComiCon events, but again, Saturdays. I have a woman friend in nearby Indy with whom I have been talking for about three years and I would like to meet her in person. I am confident her and I would hit it off, but the problem here is that it is a "hard limit" for my wife as she is mixed race, mainly African-American.
Married guys, any advice??
My question guys, is how on earth do you meet women who are genuinely interested in poly, not drama queens, needy, waiting for a doctor or lawyer, wanting a ring at any price, and can respect your wife so that she will be comfortable allowing a secondary relationship? I have received a suggestion to try "alternative groups". I am Pagan and last year at PPD, there was a table from a Poly Meetup group based in Indy, but with children with me, I wasn't really free to talk with them. Pagans as a group tend to be more receptive to poly, but almost all Pagan events are on Saturdays when I always work unless I can plan about a year ahead. I also received an invitation to join MENSA, but again, events are on Saturdays. I have somewhat of an interest in ComiCon events, but again, Saturdays. I have a woman friend in nearby Indy with whom I have been talking for about three years and I would like to meet her in person. I am confident her and I would hit it off, but the problem here is that it is a "hard limit" for my wife as she is mixed race, mainly African-American.
Married guys, any advice??