Hello everyone. I've been an occasional lurker on this board since last year. Recently I decided to get an account so that I could start interacting with people; though with my busy schedule it just hasn’t happened until now.
Anyway, I thought I’d finally introduce myself. I’m a 28 year-old female and been married for 8 years. We have no children and don’t foresee any in the near future. I don’t think I ever would have considered myself poly; in fact, I still don’t think it’s a very good word to describe me, yet it’s the type of relationship I’m currently in. Said relationship came about very slowly as a little over a year ago I found that I was getting stronger feelings for one of my closest (bi-sexual female) friends. I had long suspected she had feelings for me, but she valued our friendship more than trying to make anything out of her feelings.
My feelings toward her weren’t ones I ever considered acting on. For one, it was more of an intense emotional bond for me than something physical (I’m generally not sexually attracted to other females); and, for another, I was married and another relationship simply wasn’t in my list of options. A few months from this realization, my husband surprised me one day by telling me he’d been having sexual fantasies about my friend and me.
My husband and I talked about it quite a bit that day and more over the course of time. It was a fun idea for me to play with, but not something I considered seriously for myself because I figured my feelings were one of simply a close friendship. However, by the time fall rolled around (this is making a long story short), I realized that I might be feeling more for her than I previously supposed. That was when the talks with my husband became more serious, and when I started doing research on the subject of Polyamory (which is when I found this board). He was ecstatic about the idea of me being with her and by the time I visited her this February (she lives in another state than I do), I decided to make a move which was received very warmly.
So now I’m currently in a V. Both my primary and secondary seem happy as larks about the situation (except for the fact that she’s long distance). As for me, sometimes I’m happy—I have 2 people who love me dearly, and who I love in return; people who I have a wonderful relationship with—but sometimes I’m not. I feel confused and unsure if this is the direction I want my life to take. I also fear both the fact that my relationship with her won’t last forever, as well as the idea that it just might last. It would break my heart to lose her (she feels the same way about me), but at the same time, I’m not sure this is how I want to live my life.
I know this introduction is long, but I guess I finally just decided I needed to put this somewhere because I haven’t really found any stories and the like of anyone in a situation close to mine, and I don’t have any friends that are poly, so I don’t really have anyone to talk it out with or seek advice from. Of course, I’m not really sure what advice I’m looking for either, so I suppose that isn’t very helpful.
In any case, greetings. Apologies for the long post. I’m not sure how much I’ll have to contribute to this board as I don’t know if I can be considered a ‘true’ poly, but I would like to be more than just a silent observer and perhaps even make some friends in the process.
Anyway, I thought I’d finally introduce myself. I’m a 28 year-old female and been married for 8 years. We have no children and don’t foresee any in the near future. I don’t think I ever would have considered myself poly; in fact, I still don’t think it’s a very good word to describe me, yet it’s the type of relationship I’m currently in. Said relationship came about very slowly as a little over a year ago I found that I was getting stronger feelings for one of my closest (bi-sexual female) friends. I had long suspected she had feelings for me, but she valued our friendship more than trying to make anything out of her feelings.
My feelings toward her weren’t ones I ever considered acting on. For one, it was more of an intense emotional bond for me than something physical (I’m generally not sexually attracted to other females); and, for another, I was married and another relationship simply wasn’t in my list of options. A few months from this realization, my husband surprised me one day by telling me he’d been having sexual fantasies about my friend and me.
My husband and I talked about it quite a bit that day and more over the course of time. It was a fun idea for me to play with, but not something I considered seriously for myself because I figured my feelings were one of simply a close friendship. However, by the time fall rolled around (this is making a long story short), I realized that I might be feeling more for her than I previously supposed. That was when the talks with my husband became more serious, and when I started doing research on the subject of Polyamory (which is when I found this board). He was ecstatic about the idea of me being with her and by the time I visited her this February (she lives in another state than I do), I decided to make a move which was received very warmly.
So now I’m currently in a V. Both my primary and secondary seem happy as larks about the situation (except for the fact that she’s long distance). As for me, sometimes I’m happy—I have 2 people who love me dearly, and who I love in return; people who I have a wonderful relationship with—but sometimes I’m not. I feel confused and unsure if this is the direction I want my life to take. I also fear both the fact that my relationship with her won’t last forever, as well as the idea that it just might last. It would break my heart to lose her (she feels the same way about me), but at the same time, I’m not sure this is how I want to live my life.
I know this introduction is long, but I guess I finally just decided I needed to put this somewhere because I haven’t really found any stories and the like of anyone in a situation close to mine, and I don’t have any friends that are poly, so I don’t really have anyone to talk it out with or seek advice from. Of course, I’m not really sure what advice I’m looking for either, so I suppose that isn’t very helpful.
In any case, greetings. Apologies for the long post. I’m not sure how much I’ll have to contribute to this board as I don’t know if I can be considered a ‘true’ poly, but I would like to be more than just a silent observer and perhaps even make some friends in the process.