BDsm

I think as far as therapeutic value goes, that would be pretty subjective. There are all kinds of things that have therapeutic value to an individual, running, meditation, yoga, crafting, etc. For someone who participates in BDSM, there are certainly psychological reasons for doing so, but they may or may not be therapeutic. :)

My understanding of the dynamic of cutting or scratching (and this IS something I did as a teen), is that it can provide an emotional release through a physical medium. When you cant get the emotion out, or cant access the mental or emotional pain for some reason, a physical sensation like pain can bring relief. I also believe this is one of the reasons why people get body modifications (not always, but true for some), like tattoos. The pain provides a release. I am not familiar with knife play, so I wont address that or how it might or might not help in a situation like that, but thought I would share my own experience of what that was like for me. I have a partner whose child does this also, and we have had several conversations about it.

While I do participate in BDSM with both of my partners, and am a mostly subby switch, I dont do it for therapy, like LR said. I do it for myself, because its enjoyable, and hot and sexy, and I get to submit and do the things my partner asks me to do. I get off on it, being told what to do, for him. Letting him do what he wants to do to me. I am a bit of a pillow princess, so that works for me... :)

Any personal growth that results is purely a side effect...

Willow
 
There are some apple and orange comparisons going on.

Treating phobias through BDSM could very much work. That would be exposure therapy. Trusting someone enough to exposure you to a fear in a safe environment, often gradually. Things like restraint, cages, blood, being dominated etc
Says she who has issues with being restrained, and has worked up to being restrained with emergency release that I can't use and cuffs tight enough that I can't pop out of them. That has taken a while ;) Still won't let them do it at the obg/gyn office though! No straps on my ankles, thank-you.

Cutting and other forms of self-harm are more likely the result of a mood disorder, the endorphins released by cutting create an "artificial" chemical high. By artificial I mean deliberately created. Like the runners high.


The treatment for this would not be exposure therapy. but probably physciatric and would require blood tests too, to ascertain if there is a chemical imbalance.

My 2 cents...:)
 
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What does pillow princess mean?

I believe it means someone who just lays back on her pillow and tells her lover what to do. Kind of like, "Okay, do me!" Also I don't think a pillow princess makes much effort to give back. It's all about the princess!
princess_h4h.gif
 
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I've never had straps on my ankles at the dr's office!
 
What does pillow princess mean?

I actually saw that term recently, I had never heard it before either. More or less meaning preferring to lay back and be pleasured by your partner.
 
Still won't let them do it at the obg/gyn office though! No straps on my ankles, thank-you.

I've never had straps on my ankles at the dr's office!

Me either! Just put your feet on the metal stirrups. I don't even think I've ever even seen straps on them!

gynecology-stirrups.jpg
 
I don't even think I've ever even seen straps on them!

I think straps on the stirrups would be enough reason to pick another doctor... with a quickness.
 
I've had them twice here and was very common in the home country. eek.
 

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What, they think you're gonna hop off and run away, gown flapping in the breeze?
 
What, they think you're gonna hop off and run away, gown flapping in the breeze?

Right? What exactly is the scenario where straps are required? I mean, that the hell are they doing to a poor girl to necessitate strapping her down so she doesn't flail around?? lol ... man, this topic really takes some wide angle turns.
 
I much prefer the stirrups with oven mitts on them, they stop your feet getting cold :D
The scenarios? Used to be for the just the basics. But a few times were for more serious things where you might just prefer to run off with your butt hanging out! You can PM me if you really want to know.

Suffice it to say, the only straps I enjoy being tied up with, are from someone with whom I have a safe word. And who brings you a drink and sandwich after!
 
Suffice it to say, the only straps I enjoy being tied up with, are from someone with whom I have a safe word. And who brings you a drink and sandwich after!

That really made me laugh. Thanks Atlantis :)
 
There are some apple and orange comparisons going on.

Treating phobias through BDSM could very much work. That would be exposure therapy. Trusting someone enough to exposure you to a fear in a safe environment, often gradually. Things like restraint, cages, blood, being dominated etc
Says she who has issues with being restrained, and has worked up to being restrained with emergency release that I can't use and cuffs tight enough that I can't pop out of them. That has taken a while ;) Still won't let them do it at the obg/gyn office though! No straps on my ankles, thank-you.

Cutting and other forms of self-harm are more likely the result of a mood disorder, the endorphins released by cutting create an "artificial" chemical high. By artificial I mean deliberately created. Like the runners high.


The treatment for this would not be exposure therapy. but probably physciatric and would require blood tests too, to ascertain if there is a chemical imbalance.

My 2 cents...:)

For the record, a metamour of mine does this -- uses BDSM with a very-sadistic-but-also-very-loving partner as exposure therapy to work on her phobias. It backfired one time in a massive way, she found herself too terrified to even think to say "red", and the experience actually gave her an entirely new phobia that impacts her life on a weekly, if not daily, basis. She said that it was the worst experience of her life, and she's been non-consensually raped. For all of that, she stands by her method. Which just completely blows my mind.
 
To be fair to other people who use BDSM as therapy, it's one thing to ask your partner to tie you with straps because you're afraid of restraints, with the expectation that your partner will stop when you start to show more than a little discomfort. It's another to have a dynamic with your partner where it's expected that they'll reduce you to a weeping, incoherent mess as part of an average session, which was the case with my metamour and her sadist. I think combining that particular dynamic with BDSM-as-exposure-therapy was where the wrong turn was made. *shrug* Imho, anyway, like I said she regrets that particular incident -- she thinks that she made some big mistakes beforehand by not doing enough to manage her mental state, and going through with the scene even though she'd had a bad day and was having doubts -- but doesn't think that the overall approach is at fault.
 
it's one thing to ask your partner to tie you with straps because you're afraid of restraints, with the expectation that your partner will stop when you start to show more than a little discomfort. It's another to have a dynamic with your partner where it's expected that they'll reduce you to a weeping, incoherent mess as part of an average session, which was the case with my metamour and her sadist. .

Agreed, I was in no way advocating that kind of behavior, apologies if I gave that impression.
 
Agreed, I was in no way advocating that kind of behavior, apologies if I gave that impression.

You didn't, I was just clarifying my own thoughts on the matter.
 
I'd say many many people would disagree with you, opal. BDSM is so challenging sometimes. It can force you to trust more, be more open, be more decisive, or more submissive than you've ever been before. There is force and power play in vanilla life, but BDSM, for many, brings it to the surface, instead of it being subtly buried and denied the way it can be in vanilla situations. When you confront all this directly in a consensual D/s scene, it can be very stress relieving, cathartic, life growth inducing.

I believe it was in the Bottoming book where an author talks specifically about a woman who was raped, and how when she chose to do "rape play" in a consensual gangbang situation, after years of ordinary therapy, it finally helped her to overcome the original trauma and make her feel empowered once again.

Some people do not respond well to traditional talk therapy. Many people can't open up and talk about their deepest secrets and fears to a therapist. I've chatted with some good friends who never talk about their sex lives with their therapist, even though that is where they need the most help! They feel a stigma and shame about talking about sex. This is just one example. So, careful caring BDSM with a trusted experienced partner is an option for many, to maybe enhance talk therapy, and help to clear things, receive catharsis and move on.

My gf has anxiety issues. She's been in talk therapy for 5 years. But sometimes when she's feeling particularly fraught, nothing makes her feel better, safer, stronger, more relaxed, than to be bound, or put in a cage, or flogged. Fun and games? Sexy time? No, very serious shit.


I stumbled upon this a few days ago ...http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...aped-stepfather-Lionel-Barthelemy-prison.html


When this kid grows up do you think this could be therapy for him ?
 
I stumbled upon this a few days ago ...http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...aped-stepfather-Lionel-Barthelemy-prison.html


When this kid grows up do you think this could be therapy for him ?
What would be your motivation for posting that in this thread other than to provoke an emotive reaction during a discussion? Some people abused their kid. They had a kinky relationship. So? Plenty of other women have been complicit in their child's abuse in the absence of a kink based relationship. It has absolutely no bearing on the discussion at all.
 
What would be your motivation for posting that in this thread other than to provoke an emotive reaction during a discussion? Some people abused their kid. They had a kinky relationship. So? Plenty of other women have been complicit in their child's abuse in the absence of a kink based relationship. It has absolutely no bearing on the discussion at all.

The bearing was in the last question: will BDSM be therapy for this boy when he grows up?
 
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