May not poly after all

Thank you for taking the time to explain all that. Now I can definitely see the difference between what you're talking about, and just two people who are completely helpless on their own so they lean on each other, creating a situation where each one is completely reliant on the other, without any real benefit.
 
Glad I could help - this is why I have an issue with folks talking about finding someone to "complete them". To me that smacks of a desire for dependence (or worse, codependence) because if interdependence is the goal, then each individual is already complete.

The same goes for couples looking for a third to "Complete them" - I could never join a couple like that - I need them to be functioning, both as individuals and as a relationship first. I don't need the pressure of having to live up to someones requirements and expectations for "completion".

So going back to the OP - I would definitely advise sorting through whatever is going on inside you, before looking outside for people. Be self-aware, and as confident in yourself as you can be. If not, you will tend to attract only the "White Knight" type, trying to rescue the stricken damsel...
 
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