Hello all!
So I'm in a bit of a pickle. I probably don't know the half of it...oh here I go being dramatic I'm going to try and summarize my story the best I can.
A couple of years ago or so, I had my first love. I met her online. We were together for a year and a half before breaking it off due to the stress of our lives. However, we're still friends and whenever we talk there's clearly still passion; external circumstances separate us.
Our relationship was very healthy sexually, and toward the end we got into hypothetically talking about swinging, threesomes, cuckoldry...that dimension of kinkiness involving more people than just us. Though, out of fear I believe, she felt we shouldn't "actually" do it (we were talking about someday when we'd meet irl) but that as a roleplay it was very hot. But after the breakup, long story short, I realized a polyamorous lifestyle, for me, would feel most natural and free. My recent ex in passing mentioned having an open relationship but she's been so caught up in her life I haven't heard from her much. So I'm just wishing the best for her and hoping someday she'll reenter my life. But for now, here I am.
My predicament goes like this: I'm in college. This is the first time I've been an eligible bachelor since, ever. So I'm "testing the waters" so to speak. But I met another girl the other month who also lives in another state who has expressed interest in being a friend with benefits, though she clearly has some feelings for me. She's been very understanding and surprisingly so with the whole situation. She's accepted that it's sex and friendship and she won't have me "all to herself". However, earlier this week, I met up with a new friend and asked her on a date. So we're having it tomorrow! The worry for me is, when it comes down to it - how do I bring up my relationship status without coming off as a typical sex-driven, insensitive, selfish etc etc male? The girl who I'm going on a date with tomorrow has been pretty subtly showing that she's hot for me.
That's what I get for being a nerdy guy who's into intelligent women, hahh. My ex as well as my fwb (planning to fly down soon actually) as well the new girl are all nerdy and sweet and funny and intelligent, etc. I guess I'm just worried about feeling like an asshole for being polyamorous. It's not exactly a commonly believed-in thing. I told my fwb about the date tomorrow and she's clearly hurt by it but trying to be supportive - making me feel guilty. I mean, she isn't. I just am by it. I don't want to hurt those who are close to me. I guess I'm just looking for some guidance of some sort or another.
In the meantime, I'm hoping the topic of "past relationships" doesn't come up during the date tomorrow. She seems like a pretty easygoing, fun girl but I'd like not to make a mess of things.
Advice? Tips? Thoughts? Personal anecdotes?
Thanks all. If you want any clarification, by all means! Later
So I'm in a bit of a pickle. I probably don't know the half of it...oh here I go being dramatic I'm going to try and summarize my story the best I can.
A couple of years ago or so, I had my first love. I met her online. We were together for a year and a half before breaking it off due to the stress of our lives. However, we're still friends and whenever we talk there's clearly still passion; external circumstances separate us.
Our relationship was very healthy sexually, and toward the end we got into hypothetically talking about swinging, threesomes, cuckoldry...that dimension of kinkiness involving more people than just us. Though, out of fear I believe, she felt we shouldn't "actually" do it (we were talking about someday when we'd meet irl) but that as a roleplay it was very hot. But after the breakup, long story short, I realized a polyamorous lifestyle, for me, would feel most natural and free. My recent ex in passing mentioned having an open relationship but she's been so caught up in her life I haven't heard from her much. So I'm just wishing the best for her and hoping someday she'll reenter my life. But for now, here I am.
My predicament goes like this: I'm in college. This is the first time I've been an eligible bachelor since, ever. So I'm "testing the waters" so to speak. But I met another girl the other month who also lives in another state who has expressed interest in being a friend with benefits, though she clearly has some feelings for me. She's been very understanding and surprisingly so with the whole situation. She's accepted that it's sex and friendship and she won't have me "all to herself". However, earlier this week, I met up with a new friend and asked her on a date. So we're having it tomorrow! The worry for me is, when it comes down to it - how do I bring up my relationship status without coming off as a typical sex-driven, insensitive, selfish etc etc male? The girl who I'm going on a date with tomorrow has been pretty subtly showing that she's hot for me.
That's what I get for being a nerdy guy who's into intelligent women, hahh. My ex as well as my fwb (planning to fly down soon actually) as well the new girl are all nerdy and sweet and funny and intelligent, etc. I guess I'm just worried about feeling like an asshole for being polyamorous. It's not exactly a commonly believed-in thing. I told my fwb about the date tomorrow and she's clearly hurt by it but trying to be supportive - making me feel guilty. I mean, she isn't. I just am by it. I don't want to hurt those who are close to me. I guess I'm just looking for some guidance of some sort or another.
In the meantime, I'm hoping the topic of "past relationships" doesn't come up during the date tomorrow. She seems like a pretty easygoing, fun girl but I'd like not to make a mess of things.
Advice? Tips? Thoughts? Personal anecdotes?
Thanks all. If you want any clarification, by all means! Later