Hey!
I was hoping someone on here would have some advice based on their own experiences or insight regarding my current situation.
I was introduced to polyamory a year ago and sort of fell into it accidentally. I have since grown both with personal experience and knowledge and now confidently identify as a poly person. I currently consider myself single, because I do not have a primary partner and am more of a tertiary partner to those I am involved with. I am seeing two different individuals, the one who introduced me to polyamory and another I met roughly two months ago. Both of these men have primary female partners. Currently, we may talk via text 1-3 times weekly and I see each of them about once every 2 weeks, sometimes longer between dates.
I greatly enjoy the company of my partners and am happy with the time I do get to spend with them. However, because I don't have a primary partner I often feel like I am low priority and that I don't get my needs taken into consideration. I am not opposed to being a secondary partner, or having a more serious relationship with either, it just has not been mentioned by either. I would also like a primary partner, but there are very few poly people in town to begin with, not to mention single individuals so I just have not found someone yet.
So I am stuck. I am very understanding that my partners are busy juggling work and/or school, and primary partners to spend time with. I want them to be devoted to those things and have the time they need to invest in those parts of their life. At the same time, I wish I had some more time invested in me. I am having a hard time getting my emotional needs met and feeling wanted. Has anyone been in this tertiary zone, enjoying who you are with but not getting enough? If so, how do you manage feeling like the person on the back burner?
I was hoping someone on here would have some advice based on their own experiences or insight regarding my current situation.
I was introduced to polyamory a year ago and sort of fell into it accidentally. I have since grown both with personal experience and knowledge and now confidently identify as a poly person. I currently consider myself single, because I do not have a primary partner and am more of a tertiary partner to those I am involved with. I am seeing two different individuals, the one who introduced me to polyamory and another I met roughly two months ago. Both of these men have primary female partners. Currently, we may talk via text 1-3 times weekly and I see each of them about once every 2 weeks, sometimes longer between dates.
I greatly enjoy the company of my partners and am happy with the time I do get to spend with them. However, because I don't have a primary partner I often feel like I am low priority and that I don't get my needs taken into consideration. I am not opposed to being a secondary partner, or having a more serious relationship with either, it just has not been mentioned by either. I would also like a primary partner, but there are very few poly people in town to begin with, not to mention single individuals so I just have not found someone yet.
So I am stuck. I am very understanding that my partners are busy juggling work and/or school, and primary partners to spend time with. I want them to be devoted to those things and have the time they need to invest in those parts of their life. At the same time, I wish I had some more time invested in me. I am having a hard time getting my emotional needs met and feeling wanted. Has anyone been in this tertiary zone, enjoying who you are with but not getting enough? If so, how do you manage feeling like the person on the back burner?