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Old 07-07-2012, 05:08 AM
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StarTeddy StarTeddy is offline
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 55

That's good you own that. But are you able to work on your abandonment issues? It's not going to help future relationships if you come across as uber clingy.
I've been trying to. I don't have access to my university's psychologist because it's summer, but just today I ordered a self-help book about overcoming abandonment issues. It's a work in progess.

This baffles me -- how are you lying to yourself?
I guess it feels like to me that I have to swap one set of "social behaviors" for another. Like for example, I would like to treat someone as "lover" because that's how I feel, but I'm forced to treat them as "friend" instead, and if it goes on for long enough it feels like it's more of a double life...that I love them on the inside but I'm forced not to on the outside. This incongruity is very upsetting for me because I'm not being true to my feelings.

I don't see how maintaining a schedule is taking time away from anyone. Does my going to work "take time away" from my loved ones because I'm at work?
Well...yeah. If I wasn't spending time with one of them, I'd be with the other. If neither me nor my partner had to work, we'd probably spend that time with each other. Doing anything else is a reduction of time. Whether that's GOOD or BAD depends on the circumstances and the people involved...

Are you good at keeping the emotional boundaries?
Nope, I'm terrible at it. I'm generally bad at controlling my feelings. Though I did expect from the outset that trying to help him was going to hurt me in some way or another.

And yeah, my life is pretty messy right now...and I feel like it's just going to get messier. :/
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