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Old 07-06-2012, 05:25 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 7,034

My ex and I broke up because I had fallen for his best friend and he could not accept a poly relationship.
Fair enough. You are responsible for articulating your wants, needs, limits. He articulates his and they were a mismatch.

Just because you want to go there doesn't automatically mean he does.

His best friend was more open to the idea, but he's been shying away from it lately. I told him that my ideal arrangement would be all partners living in the same house, but he told me that he does not wish to live with anyone who isn't his partner. He also finds it unfair to have to share time spent together. So I feel like it's only a matter of time until I lose him.
He sounds more open. So why are you putting in right into the doomy gloomy bucket rather than talking more to refine where his limit is?

Maybe he's fine with a "V" and you as the hinge but NOT fine living with your other partner in the same house sharing all hours of the day in there and finances and all that jazz.

Is living all together a "hard limit" for you? Or is it more of a "want" than a limit?

I've been trying to reconnect with an ex of mine who I was madly in love with, more than anyone else...I don't really expect anything to come of it, but if it did he'd probably reject me too, because of the way I choose to love.
So why go there looking for rejection if you already know it is not a kite that will fly?

And the thing that hurts the most is that all three of them would want to date me if it was just them.
And this is bad because? Can't it be strokes for you?

"Yay! I am loveable! Unfortunate that the wants, needs and limits don't line up right yet, but I am loveable!"

Do you subscribe to the idea that there's only One or Few Right Ones for you?

Or do you subscribe to the idea that there are MANY Right Ones... but they don't always come at the Right Time?


Last edited by GalaGirl; 07-06-2012 at 05:28 PM.
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