Responsibility of Thirds......

LOL It's a PANDEMIC!!! This just in... women are not the emotional basket cases. It was a big undercover plot to hide the real culprits! :p

I'm okay really. I'm just having a "can a girl get a break" moment... I want to be there for my men, but I can't do that when I keep getting trampled by their issues. I've been through alot recently (which you can way more than relate to) and I need to build myself back up a little. He needs space to "figure something out" So I'm being very boy and knocking a few back and I will stroll into work with my shades on and tell myself TGIF all day long... :cool:hopefully. lol


Fucking awesome! I am so ready to knock a few back!

We need a "polyamory board get together" I tell you!

(maybe there should be two? One for the boys and one for the sane girls?) hehehehehehehehe
 
That was the word I was looking for-pandemic.

It's a fucking pandemic! The world's water is drain-bamaging our men!


STOP DRINKING WATER!!!

:p

I learned about those internet hugs from Ariakas. :) He has long, strong arms. Maca does too huh!?! ;)
Good thing I'm poly! :eek:
 
Hey I want to go to the girl meet up!!!! I need a girl friend !!!:D
 
That was the word I was looking for-pandemic.

It's a fucking pandemic! The world's water is drain-bamaging our men!


STOP DRINKING WATER!!!

:p

I learned about those internet hugs from Ariakas. :) He has long, strong arms. Maca does too huh!?! ;)
Good thing I'm poly! :eek:

Hahaha, Oh my. Some good deep belly laughs are just what the doctor ordered!
 
stolen from Mono-he posted this elsewhere on the board....

But it sure as hell fits in this thread too! So I STOLE IT.
:eek: (thanks Mon)


I'm starting to reconsider the idea of the word "rules" or boundaries. I think I prefer the word "criteria".

Simply put, I have criteria to share myself in certain ways, other people also have criteria. If those criteria don't conflict than there is positivity and potential. If they do conflict than their is a logical outcome to the question of compatibility.

Rules imply restriction for sure. But those restrictions generally only bind one partner at a time I find, their often one sided.

In a truly monogamous relationship their is no rule that says you have to be sexually exclusive because it is the natural way for both who enter it. The couple is not being exclusive because they "have to" (unless one is actually not monogamous), they are being exclusive because that is how they show love and commitment and how they want to receive it. That is the criteria they have to share their lives in that way.

So if I stand up and say I have a rule I need my partner to follow, that is self serving and definitely takes a certain power away from their individuality. But if I express the criteria I need to share myself in a certain way than the power remains with my partner to decide if I meet their criteria to share in their life.
 
Okay, I'm going to stop cluttering up this thread that is near and dear to me with my jokie wokes. I'm sending you my email in a msg LR. I'd be delighted if yall would add me on facebook :) Have a good night and thanks for the laughs, my dear.
 
You all are having way too much fun! Don't you know this is all serious intellectual, philosophical, theoretical business.

Can I come to your girls group. I know how to drink and moan about men. Not much to moan about though.
 
You all are having way too much fun! Don't you know this is all serious intellectual, philosophical, theoretical business.

Can I come to your girls group. I know how to drink and moan about men. Not much to moan about though.

Think of it like a fireside story...make shit up! :)
 
You all are having way too much fun! Don't you know this is all serious intellectual, philosophical, theoretical business.

Can I come to your girls group. I know how to drink and moan about men. Not much to moan about though.


You're totally welcome RP, just try not to rub in your boys' awesomeness until ours recover from the crazy water. Haha
 
You guys are hysterical!

I took a break for the weekend.

Friday was GG and I's 17th anniversary. Yes I said 17th.

We went to the used bookstore. It was calm, quiet, relaxing. Not too romantic-but right now I think we both just needed to BE and we were able to do that.

We picked up a few books, ran across the street to get some vega for me and some breakfast bars for Maca, then came home.

Shit hit the fan that night. It was interesting in a train-wreck sort of way.
Maca was feeling insecure. He's been doing KICK ASS at dissecting these things before they get out of control. But Friday that didn't happen.

He lost his temper, things got pretty hot. He intentionally mis-interpreted something GG wrote me to mean that GG didn't care about Maca or my stepson, which is SO not true.

For the first time GG LOST IT. He started yelling back, " That is NOT TRUE! SHUT UP!" He stopped somewhere along "FUCK YOU!".
Maca got amazingly quiet. I think he was shocked. But I couldn't help but note that irony that REALLY GG was defending Maca from Maca.........
He was pissed that Maca thought he didn't care about Maca. He was finally ticked off enough to lose his temper and scream in rage protecting and defending his
.............
............
........
..........
..........

Love for Maca.


Uh huh.

It didnt stop there and in spite of trying several times to defuse the situation it didn't work. It finally resulted in me telling Maca that this was no way to show love or care or consideration or protectiveness of me and it damn sure was not appropriate behavior for a 24/7 Dom and if that was how he was going to behave there isn't anyway we can move past a collar of consideration.
He was blowing me off-and in an attempt to get through to him-despite how it could be taken, I flung the collar at the floor where we were standing.

He left. I picked it up carefully and set it on my bedside table. I kjnow he's trying and I'm very proud of him. But he still needed to understand-that his actions factor into my ability to trust him to take care of me-especially if he's attacking those I love...

I slept on the chair.
I felt that it wasn't appropriate to really sleep with Maca OR GG when there was such animosity between them. But I was exhausted, worn out and in pain. So I took my pain pill and curled up in the chair.

5 or 6 am Maca got pissed again and tried to get me to go to our room. GG had come up to lay on the couch and Maca was mad.

My eyebrows raised, but I held my temper.
I told him no and I reminded him-you flipped out on GG last night because you don't feel he deserves my time/attention because he wasn't "standing up for and protecting me" as you felt he should. NOW you are pissed because he IS?

I didn't move and I didn't fight.

Saturday was stressful-I insisted that we deal with it. Both of them would of rather "taken the day off" but I wasn't willing to drag it out.

So we talked, argued, talked, argued, talked and talked and finally came to some VERY good conclusions-including apologies all around.

We went to church Sunday morning. The service was on the responsibilities of a husband to his wife. Having addressed Saturday that Maca feels (and I don't disagree) that GG wants the rights of a husband, and therefore he needs to step up and help with the responsibilities of a husband. If he wants Maca to share the rights, then he needs to share the responsibilities.
Well-GG took copious notes during the service (we were all sitting apart by weird coincidence) and it went REALLY well.
The pastor said, "men take notes". I turned and looked at Maca who mouthed, "got no paper!". I said (outloud), "You better hope your partner is taking good notes!" (laughing).
He looked a little stunned that I said it outloud-but he was smiling too.
We talked more Sunday and I think this marks the sign of another step forward in our relationship!

Maca found a diary of his from 6 or so years ago. He was a bit disturbed by it.
He said, "Oh my GOd. I can't believe I said those things. I can't believe I didn't listen."
We talked some about it in bed-but mostly it was just GOOD. He was able to see how far he's come, how far we've come. He was sincere in his apology about losing it Friday night-and GG was sincere in his acceptance of the apology.
I think that they both made forward progress in their relationship and as much as I hate to hear them fight-I'm glad that GG lost his temper, because I think Maca could see that he cared, that this all matters to him to. I think it changed the playing field so to speak.
 
I'm a weird person some might say but I don't always think losing your temper is a bad thing. Passion is passion really. If GG is usually in control, then him losing control emphasized how strongly his feelings about this were.

And good for you in letting Maca know he can't have it both ways. He can't want GG to step up and then get upset when he does.

I'm happy that it brought a breakthrough for all of you.
 
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