Christian
New member
Sorry for the title. It's true, but also meant to garner attention.
My name is Christian (M) and I am in a very good relationship with a girl named Eve. Eve is bisexual and I knew that from day one. In fact, it was a fight between me and a lesbian friend of mine as to who would "get" her. Of course, it wasn't really our decision. Lol.
When we started dating, she really downplayed her attraction to girls and lesbian sex. But, after about a year she wanted to start talking about girls. I wasn't against it, as I actually have a long history of dating bi and gay girls. I am a pretty feminine guy (I've always joked that I must be the stepping stone for some of them). For, Eve that is not the case, as her ONLY sexual experiences before me where lesbian. So, I know it's not her "coming out" or anything. If anything, she is actually obsessed with me. (In a good way)
But now she is expressing that she would like to at some point have sex with girls again. Here is where (according to my noob research into this lifestyle) where it differs from what I think most must mean with "polyamory" She says she has no desire to "love" them (beyond that which is what one should do). She made her point clear that it is only a sexual thing she wants. And she would prefer me to be present (as in, in the room or house at the time, but not a threesome).
My response: at first I was excited, as most guys would be with the "fantasy" of girl-on-girl sex. Then I was contemplative about what that would mean. I believe that I am a monogamous person. I feel that that is what helps me be my best. I believe she could have sex with these girls and it not "hurt" her state of stability. She also has stated that she would never want me to sexually participate with her girlfriends. She admits it would be a jealousy factor. She also said that if I were bi, she would be okay with me sleeping with other males.
Is this lopsided and bad, even if that is not what I'd choose to do?
Is this a common form of this lifestyle, to have the bisexual partner be the only one exploring other sexual partners?
I have read many things here stating that ground rules are important. We have discussed them.
She has made it very clear to me that she wants to marry me. I have reservations about marriage, but it's something I'm working through. She doesn't want to really have girlfriends until we are married. Her sincerity and commitment to our relationship is not at all in question.
Is there someone on here like me, with a wife or fiance who wants to have something similar? How is it for you? I know, from a fantasy standpoint, many guys would kill to have two or more girls in their bed, but how does it make one feel that you can't touch, only be there and look?
Sorry for the long post. I just want to learn as much as I can before making a decision. Thank you.
My name is Christian (M) and I am in a very good relationship with a girl named Eve. Eve is bisexual and I knew that from day one. In fact, it was a fight between me and a lesbian friend of mine as to who would "get" her. Of course, it wasn't really our decision. Lol.
When we started dating, she really downplayed her attraction to girls and lesbian sex. But, after about a year she wanted to start talking about girls. I wasn't against it, as I actually have a long history of dating bi and gay girls. I am a pretty feminine guy (I've always joked that I must be the stepping stone for some of them). For, Eve that is not the case, as her ONLY sexual experiences before me where lesbian. So, I know it's not her "coming out" or anything. If anything, she is actually obsessed with me. (In a good way)
But now she is expressing that she would like to at some point have sex with girls again. Here is where (according to my noob research into this lifestyle) where it differs from what I think most must mean with "polyamory" She says she has no desire to "love" them (beyond that which is what one should do). She made her point clear that it is only a sexual thing she wants. And she would prefer me to be present (as in, in the room or house at the time, but not a threesome).
My response: at first I was excited, as most guys would be with the "fantasy" of girl-on-girl sex. Then I was contemplative about what that would mean. I believe that I am a monogamous person. I feel that that is what helps me be my best. I believe she could have sex with these girls and it not "hurt" her state of stability. She also has stated that she would never want me to sexually participate with her girlfriends. She admits it would be a jealousy factor. She also said that if I were bi, she would be okay with me sleeping with other males.
Is this lopsided and bad, even if that is not what I'd choose to do?
Is this a common form of this lifestyle, to have the bisexual partner be the only one exploring other sexual partners?
I have read many things here stating that ground rules are important. We have discussed them.
She has made it very clear to me that she wants to marry me. I have reservations about marriage, but it's something I'm working through. She doesn't want to really have girlfriends until we are married. Her sincerity and commitment to our relationship is not at all in question.
Is there someone on here like me, with a wife or fiance who wants to have something similar? How is it for you? I know, from a fantasy standpoint, many guys would kill to have two or more girls in their bed, but how does it make one feel that you can't touch, only be there and look?
Sorry for the long post. I just want to learn as much as I can before making a decision. Thank you.