gorgeouskitten,
First, I am sorry. It sounds like breaking up/being separated is probably the best course of action. But that doesn't make it any less painful.
Second, when my ex-wife and I broke up, I was devastated. My life as I had known it was over and I had no idea what or who I was without that context. The last few years have been exploring and seeing who I am. I won't lie - it was often incredibly difficult. A lot of the time, especially that first year, I was just hanging on.
But now, a few years down the road from the breakup, I have grown so much, in ways that being in that relationship at that time would probably not have allowed to happen. (This is not my ex-wife's fault btw - I was a different person then.) I hope you find the same to be true for you in a few years time.