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Old 12-18-2010, 04:00 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231

Hey Jok,

I wish I had some positive experience to draw on to pass on to you.
I don't.................
I've been in this situation a few times and not yet with a positive turnaround. I connected with several girls - we were very close and lost of warm vibes, affection and respect. But they couldn't cross that bridge.

If I wanted to play amateur psychologist I'd suspect it was based on several primary factors.

1> 'common' perceptions of such arrangements (doomed, unacceptable, complicated, or maybe some bogus moral standpoint etc)

2> Insecurity - the mindset that such things always bring some form of 'competition' and they lacked confidence to engage

3> A need for some element of 'control' - especially veto rights etc. Knowing from the beginning that one is only part of a team, or tribe, changes the political aspirations.

There's others, but these seem to be the most common present in some variable proportion.

I think the only hope is to try to stay friends and try to be as transparent as possible. Let her see that it actually IS workable ! Of course in order to do that, you have to do it right and make it workable

Good luck

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