I gave a brief introduction in that section but here is more details about the "open" part of things.
My boyfriend and I have decided to sexually open our relationship. For now, I am not comfortable with the idea of truly being polyamorous and having other emotional relationships.
We have begun to lay down some rules, which I suspect are very general but I would love advice on what else to consider. Here is what we have come up with:
1. Complete honest. The other must be willing to give as little or as much detail as they are asked to give.
2. Pre-meeting updates. Starting out, we have decided to give step-by-step updates (when possible) about our process. For him, that means letting my know if he plans to go out looking for a girl. For me, that means updates on emails I send to potential women, meetings we plan, etc.
3. No hooking up with exes or mutual friends.
4. No bringing someone back to what is "our" bed.
5. Condoms must be used.
That is about it as far as general rules go so far. He has ask that if any toys are used, that the by smaller than "he" is.
We have agreed to have a talk and reevaluate after we have our initial encounters. As far as whether this will be something we will continue when we are together, that will have to be reevaluated too. Everything is fluid and open for discussion and reevaluate and change, if needed.
I am worried that I will become horribly jealous but mostly I really want him to go out and find someone. My fear of being hurt is greatly outweighed by my desire for him to pursue this.
We have decided that he can pursue other woman but have limited me away from men. I know that to some this will seem unfair but it doesn't bother me. When I proposed this to my boyfriend, I had no interested in participating myself. I just wanted this option to be open for him and perhaps as a road into a threesome later.
The reason I am not pursuing men is more than just his feelings. I love men and am certainly straight but one night stands have never done it for me. I am never satisfied so the potential benefits do not exist for me. I am very Type-A and am in my head a lot and these makes it difficult for me to really be in the moment with a stranger. I have had quite a few random hook ups and I know that that is not what I want.
My boyfriend instead suggested that I look for a girl who can be both a friend and a sexual relief (my two good friends left the city this past summer and moved so my social life is essentially non-existent.) I have no experience with women but it is something that I have wanted to experience so he told me I should find a girl that can fulfill me in all of those ways. At the moment, I am not sure where to really look. I have trolled Craiglist a little bit but feel as though that is so trashy and sketchy, even though there seem to be a few girls who are looking for a kind of friends with benefits situation as I am. I am not sure how to make this come about naturally.
Anyway, we are both extremely excited by the ideas of what this can bring for us and how this can further and enhance our relationship. I can definitely see how these kind of conversations and the willingness to give your partner what they need, even if it means it is from other people, can make you closer as a couple and that is what I am hoping for.
I would really appreciate any viewpoints on my situation or advice. Also any ideas on how I can begin to meet women would be great too.
Thank you in advance
My boyfriend and I have decided to sexually open our relationship. For now, I am not comfortable with the idea of truly being polyamorous and having other emotional relationships.
We have begun to lay down some rules, which I suspect are very general but I would love advice on what else to consider. Here is what we have come up with:
1. Complete honest. The other must be willing to give as little or as much detail as they are asked to give.
2. Pre-meeting updates. Starting out, we have decided to give step-by-step updates (when possible) about our process. For him, that means letting my know if he plans to go out looking for a girl. For me, that means updates on emails I send to potential women, meetings we plan, etc.
3. No hooking up with exes or mutual friends.
4. No bringing someone back to what is "our" bed.
5. Condoms must be used.
That is about it as far as general rules go so far. He has ask that if any toys are used, that the by smaller than "he" is.
We have agreed to have a talk and reevaluate after we have our initial encounters. As far as whether this will be something we will continue when we are together, that will have to be reevaluated too. Everything is fluid and open for discussion and reevaluate and change, if needed.
I am worried that I will become horribly jealous but mostly I really want him to go out and find someone. My fear of being hurt is greatly outweighed by my desire for him to pursue this.
We have decided that he can pursue other woman but have limited me away from men. I know that to some this will seem unfair but it doesn't bother me. When I proposed this to my boyfriend, I had no interested in participating myself. I just wanted this option to be open for him and perhaps as a road into a threesome later.
The reason I am not pursuing men is more than just his feelings. I love men and am certainly straight but one night stands have never done it for me. I am never satisfied so the potential benefits do not exist for me. I am very Type-A and am in my head a lot and these makes it difficult for me to really be in the moment with a stranger. I have had quite a few random hook ups and I know that that is not what I want.
My boyfriend instead suggested that I look for a girl who can be both a friend and a sexual relief (my two good friends left the city this past summer and moved so my social life is essentially non-existent.) I have no experience with women but it is something that I have wanted to experience so he told me I should find a girl that can fulfill me in all of those ways. At the moment, I am not sure where to really look. I have trolled Craiglist a little bit but feel as though that is so trashy and sketchy, even though there seem to be a few girls who are looking for a kind of friends with benefits situation as I am. I am not sure how to make this come about naturally.
Anyway, we are both extremely excited by the ideas of what this can bring for us and how this can further and enhance our relationship. I can definitely see how these kind of conversations and the willingness to give your partner what they need, even if it means it is from other people, can make you closer as a couple and that is what I am hoping for.
I would really appreciate any viewpoints on my situation or advice. Also any ideas on how I can begin to meet women would be great too.
Thank you in advance