Peace and joy and love

So as promised here's a bit of a synopsis of what 10 hours in a car with someone will bring you in the way of conversation.

We spoke a lot about the rights that secondaries have in structuring their relationships. My husband's girlfriend has a crush on someone and has gone on a date with this fellow. He happens to be someone who is involved with a lot of the women in the community to one degree or another. I was wondering if my husband had any concerns about it since previous discussions with his girlfriend had led him to believe that there wouldn't be anyone new coming on the scene any time soon. He was wondering if he had any say in it at all since he's her secondary partner. My advice was that he needs to talk to her about any concerns that he has about it and that being secondary doesn't mean that you don't get to have feelings and oppinions about what your partner does. She needs to know how he's feeling as well. It doesn't mean that she has to change her actions but she derserves to be able to make desisions with all the information available to her.

We also talked about what my husband considers dates. He feels that RP and I don't go on dates often enough. I've told him that I'm happy with the amount of time we see each other and just because he doesn't consider some of what we do dates doesn't make it any less meaningful to me. Although we do struggle to find alone time to spend with each other.

Then we had a big long talk about my best friend out here and having to see her with her new man who I don't care for much. Tonight is the night that we see them. I'm mentally prepared to leave if I have to. From what I know of him, he has very little respect for women and that's not going to fly with me. I'm at the point of being willing to let go of the friendship if it comes to that.

Time for a snooze before heading back to the stores for more shopping. It's cold here, glad for a warm bed to snuggle into!
 
missing you sweets, but really I'm a total nightmare right now, so it's just as well you are away. I actually thought I would see if you could met for coffee tomorrow. Opps :eek:
 
Coffee might be a bit of a stretch, even half way is a 5 hour trip. I miss you too Love, I'll be home soon though xoxox
 
It's been a good Christmas. The weather here has improved greatly. We were out this afternoon making snowmen and having snowball fights. The kids were so excited to give the presents that they had made out. They seemed much more interested in giving presents than getting presents. (Although the toy puppy that walks and talks and the giant playmobile castle were greatly appreciated...thank you grandma and grandpa).

Tomorrow my sister and brother arrive and I get to spend a day with them before starting our trek back home. As always it will be sad to leave but nice to be back home again. I feel a little like I have a split life (and have since I moved to a new city). It gets harder and harder to come back and there are still pangs about leaving too.

Once we're home the planning is on for our annual new years party. We're going to have to work out a signature drink for this year. Last year we did jello shooters and I think the consensus was that the cherry ones tasted like cough syrup. :p

I miss RP. I haven't been able to talk to her much at all this week. I've been spending all my time visiting with family and old friends. Just a couple more days and all will be back to normal again.

Merry Christmas everyone.

-Derby
 
It's been a good Christmas. The weather here has improved greatly. We were out this afternoon making snowmen and having snowball fights. The kids were so excited to give the presents that they had made out. They seemed much more interested in giving presents than getting presents. (Although the toy puppy that walks and talks and the giant playmobile castle were greatly appreciated...thank you grandma and grandpa).
Wow, Derby, that sounds like a picture-PERFECT Christmas! I'm glad for y'all.


Once we're home the planning is on for our annual new years party. We're going to have to work out a signature drink for this year. Last year we did jello shooters and I think the consensus was that the cherry ones tasted like cough syrup. :p
If Dr. Pepper is available where y'all live, try it hot with lemon and rum. Easy, fun, and yummy! Just don't add TOO much rum, or you'll have more cough syrup! :p Plus, you can have sugar-free on hand for the folks who are watching the sugar/calories.
 
If Dr. Pepper is available where y'all live, try it hot with lemon and rum. Easy, fun, and yummy! Just don't add TOO much rum, or you'll have more cough syrup! :p Plus, you can have sugar-free on hand for the folks who are watching the sugar/calories.

No one's supposed to be watching sugar and calories until the first! :D (Therefore no diet Dr. Pepper until after midnight).
 
I got a martini book for Christmas and a shaker. How about something from there? Our friend mutual friend from the women's group fed me a choclate martini, YUM. So good! But dangerous for me as its vodka. Still, worth a try.
 
Going with the Dr Pepper theme- My drink of choice is Dr pepper with Vanila vodka. You choose how much ;) Tastes like cake batter.
 
I got a martini book for Christmas and a shaker. How about something from there? Our friend mutual friend from the women's group fed me a choclate martini, YUM. So good! But dangerous for me as its vodka. Still, worth a try.

Those are good, as are apple martinis and crantinis. I also had a coffee flavoured one once which was awesome.

Going with the Dr Pepper theme- My drink of choice is Dr pepper with Vanila vodka. You choose how much ;) Tastes like cake batter.

That sounds good too!
 
Since nothing else is getting checked off my to do list today I may as well write a bit. Christmas was a bit of a whirlwind. Did some travelling, saw some family and old friends. As usual with these trips it was bittersweet. Going back to my home town reminds me of who I was and I know that I wouldn't be able to just go back to that life. It was a much simpler life, the one everyone expects you to have, the one people back home are still living. I briefly had the thought that I'd like it back. I'd much rather be me though, not just coasting through life doing what everyone expects. I'm happier since I've moved here and learnt so much more about who I am and what I want out of relationship, both friendship and romantic.

There was also the thought of this may be one of the last drama free times I have with my family. Since I'm not hiding anymore and have decided to answer any questions I get honestly at some point my being poly and bi is going to come out. There's an uncertainty of who is going to be accepting and who isn't. And that's just something that you can't know until it comes out (although I have my suspicions).

I'm just glad to be back home. I have a date night set for next week with RP. It's been a while, sometimes life just sneaks up on you! I'm very much looking forward to reconnecting.

I've been realizing lately that I have absolutely no idea what the status is with my husband and his girlfriend. I know that he hasn't seen her in quite a while. Yet again maybe it's just life getting in the way.
 
This hits very close to home for me. My husband is big on Non-Verbal communication, my problem is that I don't read his non-verbal very well or my inter-galactic translator is malfunctioning :eek:

It gave me an idea. I am going to post notes all over my house saying "This house is surrounded by an Anti-Telepathic Force Shield that blocks all telepathic powers. Please use other forms of communication, verbal and auditory are prefered."

lmao I am so going to do this.
 
I'm working on getting my competitive streak under control. Not everything has to be about having the most or being first. Am I happy with what I have in my life? Yes, absolutely. Do I honestly have the time/energy/effort to put into another relationship? No I don't. Which leaves me wondering why I feel the desire to be pursued. Is it just because others around me are being pursued?

Sometimes I feel all messed up in the head. On one hand I really want to know that I'm attractive and that there are people who want to be with me (regardless of if I want to be with them or not). And on the other hand if I'm approached by anyone where anytime in the first few meetings anything sexual is brought up I feel like all I am is a body to them and I write them off right away.

It's time to stop looking at what others have again and start to focus on what I have. I'm happy and satisfied with where I am and who I am, the rest of it just doesn't matter.
 
sounds like the same basic struggle that Maca is dealing with.
He has this real issue with wanting to "have someone too". Ironically-he's got girls chasing him around corners, but he doesn't see that as being comparable to me not having guys chasing me around the corners (I don't go anywhere TO get chased). He figures if I went somewhere, they'd be chasing so it's the same.
But-it bothers him that I have GG and he has "no one".

At the same time, everytime "someone" comes along who MIGHT be able to become "another one" over time..... he rushes into sex and then gets rid of them because "they only want me for sex."........

I keep tilting my head in curiosity. I can't understand why he can't just enjoy meeting people, getting to know them as people and then see what happens OVER TIME.

I met GG April 9th, 1993.
We spent 3-5 days a week together outside of work, and we worked together 5 days a week....

It was summer of 1995 before things took a turn towards sex.
That was a one time moment.

We continued to be friends and remain in close contact for years. It was 2001 or 2002 before our relationship turned romantic/sexual.

Seriously, that time of building a friendship IS the reason we're in love with each other (and not in lust).... because we fell in love with the deeper parts of who we are.


Ok-that wasn't meant to be a rant Derby.

On a side note-I'd be happy to tell you how beautiful you are while I'm visiting-and even though I'm bi-I don't want sex, so you can enjoy the attention without the concern that I want you for your body.

:D
 
On a side note-I'd be happy to tell you how beautiful you are while I'm visiting-and even though I'm bi-I don't want sex, so you can enjoy the attention without the concern that I want you for your body.

:D

I'll selflessly volunteer to be the relative stranger who lusts after your body (need pictures please) and then you'll have the best of both worlds! :)
 
I'll selflessly volunteer to be the relative stranger who lusts after your body (need pictures please) and then you'll have the best of both worlds! :)

You're on my Facebook, lots of pics there!
 
hehehe, there you go Derby-all your problems solved in the blink of an....... "oh damn that was hot"... I mean eye!

;)
 
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