Basic Quad??

idealist

Member
Would you call this a basic quad? see attached diagram. It's when there are two males and two females. The males have been sexual with the females, but the females haven't been sexual with one another and neither have the males been sexual with one another. It just seems like your basic heterosexual quad to me....but just wondering.

On the diagram, the green means "yes" and the red means "no" as far as direct sexual contact.
 

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Sounds about right for a hetero quad. Nice diagram too. :)
 
yes, what is a true quad... ? I never thought about it before. I assumed it was four people that may or may be coupled in two primary couplings and then are intimately involved with each of the other couple. But then if they are straight, how does that work?

I will be researching quads now... come to think of it I know of quads where the women are involved also, but not the men with each other, they are only involved with the women.

I suppose it doesn't really matter, what matters is that their are four and that there is love and compassion between the members to make the definition of "quad"
 
I second Redpepper.

But, how often would this happen, as a true polyamorous quad? It just seems like there's such a prominent correlation between poly and bisexuality--I don't think I've ever been in a room with four polys where at least one wasn't bi. I'm curious if anyone here has been in the kind of relationship OP diagrammed.
 
Oh to be a minority within a minority within a minority...my current relationships have devolved from a true quad, formed by two couples who shared mates. We are two lesbian couples (substitute butch-femme for guy-girl and you've got it). My two loves (my primary partner and my OSO) are/were also involved with a woman with whom I was not involved. She and I shared our loves, and called each other punaluas (lovers of our lover). The other original couple (my OSO and my punalua) have since broken up as lovers but remain friends and financial partners. So our quad is now more like a box with a dotted line, or two Vs. Further complicating this is the very recent/pending break-up of my primary and her OSO, my punalua. So we may be down to a broken V. Are we still poly? I may be the only one left in my quad who so identifies. But we were great while we lasted (almost 5 years...)
 
Sounds like wife swapping isn't it? Now I'm curious....what is a true quad?.

Well, it can't be wife swapping because nobody is married. Guy 1 and Girl 1 consider each other the "primary" and Girl 2 his the secondary for Guy 1. But Girl 2 and Guy 2 do not consider themselves to be primarys and they have other lovers.

I know....I'm not sure what a true quad is.....and I know it doesn't matter. These thoughts come to my head at night when I'm going to sleep.....
 
I second Redpepper.

But, how often would this happen, as a true polyamorous quad? It just seems like there's such a prominent correlation between poly and bisexuality--I don't think I've ever been in a room with four polys where at least one wasn't bi. I'm curious if anyone here has been in the kind of relationship OP diagrammed.

I am in this "quad" and I consider myself "bi". One guy says he's "bi-curious" and the other guy and girl consider themselves to be heterosexual.
 
So our quad is now more like a box with a dotted line, or two Vs. Further complicating this is the very recent/pending break-up of my primary and her OSO, my punalua. So we may be down to a broken V. Are we still poly? I may be the only one left in my quad who so identifies. But we were great while we lasted (almost 5 years...)

I absolutely love these descriptions...."box with dotted line" "two vs" etc.
I like to visualize diagrams.
The thing I love about poly is that there are so many possibilities !!!
 
I second Redpepper.
I'm curious if anyone here has been in the kind of relationship OP diagrammed.

This pretty much describes us at this point. Arwen is bisexual and she and I have been intimate though I do not consider myself bisexual (I have feelings about what that means). The guys are strictly hetero though there have been MFM threesomes. But mostly these days we are as your diagram described.
 
Awesome....I like pictures....It makes it so much easier. Anyone with more?
 
Labels labels and more labels... who cares what's a quad and what's not a quad? If there's four people and there's lovin' and there's a major social bond between all four, I'd say that's a quad. Of course my ideal quad would be me, Keira Knightley, Angelina Jolie and Isla Fisher.
 
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I would think that a "basic quad" would be one where four people are involved in a relationship with one another in some form. However, we all know that poly doesn't follow rules, and I've heard of all different kinds of quads.

In my quad the men are intimately involved with both women but not each other. The women are intimately involved with both men and each other. I don't identify as bisexual but consider Asha my girlfriend and am physically attracted to her, so go figure.
 
A quad:

Sorta like a dirtbike, but it has 4 wheels.
 
Sorry to be a smart-ass :) I 2nd the anti-labels sentiment...

Labels can be useful as quick references, but I hesitate to use them as anything more than that.

The risk is that people get wrapped up in trying to force their relationships to fit into labels they've already chosen, rather than letting relationships develop in their own right.

For example, Hetero Couple A meets Hetero Couple B. There's the right chemistry, and they start dating. They call themselves a quad. Eventually, the romance between Woman A and Man B dies out, but their partners are still wildly in love. Now, did the quad define the relationship, or did the relationship at the time define the quad? Do Man A and Woman B have to break-up because the quad didn't work out? Or do they accept that the relationship dynamic has changed, and drop the label?
 
I'm with classycaveman. I don't give a rats ass about labels either.

I have been in V's. And close V's that were more like quads. Mostly half a quad or so at most cuz only the women were bi. And then, not all of them at that.

I have been in several combo's like that. But I never have had that many bi men in my life. I know they exist, but I would love a couple of quads with us all bi. That is one of my poly dreams.

Arianna
 
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