why "poly women" are bisexual ???

I do know that many women in poly or swinging or experimenting relationships try many things they normally wouldn't at the urging of their S/O, some even under duress and with many regrets.

I have noticed some of this too. The way you said this was just fine Passionista... you didn't generalize and clearly say that "many" and "some" experience this... all seems quite clear that you don't mean every woman. Don't worry about censoring yourself; if you use language in the way you have above, if someone takes offense then I would suggest that they are the ones that need to look inward. You seem to be writing just fine.

I have noticed far more bi-curious women or bi-situational women than actually bi. To me, my pansexuality is about being able to love a woman and desirous of her sexuality merging with mine. Not about poking around her body cause it is kinda cool to check it out and "weeeee look at me I am bi. Do you find this hot honey?"

I think men can be just as bi as women, they just haven't caught up to being open about it in our society... as Magdlyn said, there are many that are underground and bursting to be understood and open without it in some way being an attach on their masculinity if they do.

By the way, I am thinking that you were joking Fleur...? I, for one, need no help from anyone in conducting my bi activities. How about you? Do you need help? Can I be of assistance? ;) :D
 
I think the fact that being bi is listed as a choice, as well as the assumption that bi women are better, are insulting.

Being bi isn't a choice, just like being gay or straight isn't a choice. My life would be a lot easier in a lot of ways if I was straight (not that I wish I was, but the whole "choice" thing completely invalidates the experience of being a sexual minority in a heteronormative society).

I think it's one thing to say "I prefer being with bi women" but to say that they are flat out better or smarter is pretty lame.

It would likely also be easier to be gay. I find that a lot of lesbian women don't believe that you can be bi. They either think that you're in denial or that you're just messing around with women for fun without any chance of it developing into a relationship.

And I also second that it isn't a choice. I really don't get why people think it is a choice.
 
It would likely also be easier to be gay. I find that a lot of lesbian women don't believe that you can be bi. They either think that you're in denial or that you're just messing around with women for fun without any chance of it developing into a relationship.

And I also second that it isn't a choice. I really don't get why people think it is a choice.

Ugh. I hate this attitude so much ... I actually get more nervous coming out to gay people than straight people. :(
 
Ugh. I hate this attitude so much ... I actually get more nervous coming out to gay people than straight people. :(

Yep me too. Especially since I am engaged to a straight male, I feel like I might look like an imposter somehow. And I totally realize that I get some of the "hetero privilege" because unless I say something it looks like I'm straight, which makes me feel like I really am an imposter... sigh.
 
But if you look for MMF, where there is also male on male sex, it is a lot more difficult, or at least does not come up as often. Of course, this is just from my own searching/viewing experience which may not be as extensive as others.

When I turned 18, I was so excited to go out and rent porn for my birthday party. I got two videos, one was supposedly "bisexual porn". The "bisexual" part consisted of a naked woman standing beside the bed while 4 guys gang banged each other. :/ I got ripped off, not one penis went in a vagina!!

In mainstream porn, they don't even bother calling it bisexual if the women are making out with each other, with some guys fucking random holes. It's just "regular" porn. Hell, half the so-called "lesbian porn" I've seen still has men in it! Yeesh! Thus perpetuating the fantasy that any hot lesbian couple is secretly just waiting for a guy to break down the door and fuck them both. Argh.
 
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Rabbit, TP, Derby, I am so happy to hear other bi/pansexuals echoing my feelings. It seems that being bi is often viewed as 'in denial' or 'not gay enough' for the gay community, and a fair amount of the straight community think you only exist to make out with another woman in front of them or are a handy addition to their lovemaking* :mad:

*This isn't to say I'm averse to threesomes of course :D
 
Several of my best friends are bisexual... actually it was weird because we were a close group and they all came out as bisexual, and not me, and it was like everyone was looking at me and waiting... sorry guys and gals, I'm totally straight :p
Anyways, my point was that yes, they have had the same problems. Gay people thinking they "have it easy" because they can pretend to be straight, people in general thinking it's a phase, people thinking bisexuality doesn't exist because you "have" to prefer one or the other...

Ironically I've always felt like bisexuality seemed the most... "normal" thing to me. As in, it seems to me, it would be much better if everyone was bi rather than some people being restricted to one sex.

And of course, no choice involved! While I realise as a straight woman I get the most fortunate sexual orientation, I also know not being bisexual is limiting the kind of experiences I can have, so if I could choose... Well, I don't know if I'd be willing to take all the discrimination that would go with it, mind you -_-'.
 
Dont worry, Tonberry, it's probably just a phase. You just havent met the right woman yet.


:p
 
‎"two couples in ireland decided to swap partners. In the morning paddy asked murphy 'I wonder how the girls got on'" (why ireland? I mean really....)
Hi RP! I've never lived in Canada, so I don't know if you have there the same "haha, the Irish: how ridiculous! How stupid!" culture that is a plague in the UK.

To be boring and go into the subject a bit deeper:
a) I believe that the REASON that the Irish were [still are by all too many] considered stupid by the British was because of naivité: Many RURAL Irish emigrated to CITIES in Britain looking for work. Because they didn't know how the Underground worked or even flush toilets, they were considered "thick" when it was merely a case of things that they'd never experienced.

b1) The Irish are among the nicest people on Earth. [Some people reason that the British are cold because they live in a cold climate. The Irish climate is just as cold (and even rainier!) but the Irish are (generally) warm-hearted and generous/open with strangers.] This - and their naivité - made it easy for the British to cheat them. Arseholes who cheat others think that they are oh-so-clever and that their victims are oh-so-thick.

b2) The Irish are among the nicest people on Earth, warm-hearted and generous/open with strangers. This - and their naivité - made it easy for the British to constantly make fun of them without getting a fist in their faces.

But I'll give you an exception to the rule by telling my favourite "Irish joke" (TOLD by the Irish, for a change):
Q: Why are Irish jokes so stupid?
A: If they weren't, the Brits wouldn't understand them.

[Dexys Midnight Runners made a nice comment on the supposed stupidity of the Irish. Listen to it here... And they left out James Joyce and the greatest Irish literary genius of them all, Flann O'Brien.]

And back to your joke in particular. I don't know if this has any bearing at all, but [quoting from Wikipedia]
Today, Ireland is increasingly liberal on lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) issues. Both male and female same-sex sexual activity are legal in the state. Government recognition of LGBT rights in Ireland has expanded greatly over the past two decades. Homosexuality was decriminalised in 1993, and most forms of discrimination based on sexual orientation is now outlawed. Ireland also forbids incitement to hatred based on sexual orientation.

A 2012 survey showed that 73% of Irish people agreed that "same sex marriage should be allowed in the Constitution".[1][2] Earlier, a 2008 survey showed that 84% of Irish people support civil marriage or civil partnerships for same-sex couples, with 58% supporting full marriage rights in registry offices
Did you get that? From TOTAL illegality prior to 1993 to that level of acceptance in just 20 years!!! Whereas in the UK,
In 2001, the age of consent was equalised to 16 under the Sexual Offences (Amendment) Act 2000, regardless of gender or sexual orientation.
Before that, the age of consent for straight women was 16, for homosexual men 21 [this after the 1967 Sexual Offences Act partially legalising homosexuality: it had to be consensual (fair enough), both partners had to be over 21, and it had to be in private (meaning - among other things - no more than 2 at a time) ... and this act only applied to England and Wales: male homosexuality continued to be illegal in Scotland until 1981 and in Northern Ireland until 1982], and a legal loophole existed that - because women weren't even interested in sex so would only get it on because a man was interested in them - lesbianism wasn't illegal at all... because it didn't exist! So there was no age of consent for lesbians.:):)

So... there are 3 possibilities:
1) This joke dates from before 1993, when the British considered the Irish "backward" and "ridiculous" for still not having legalised homosexuality!:D:D!
2) It dates from between 1993 and 2000, when the Irish were "quaint", "funny", and "queer" for being even more liberal than the British!:D:D!
3) "The Irish are so thick that they don't realise that when you say 'partner swapping', you're supposed to swap the little woman for another little woman!":D:D!

Ah, me! Those Irish! Always good for a laugh!:D:D

p.s. Please don't think that I've got it in for the British. "Some of my best friends are Brits." (Remind you of anything?) I've just got it in for louts who make fun of the Irish... or anybody else because of their cultural differences.
 
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Hello
I dont know exactly "why"
but I confirm : in our polyfamily all women are bisexual, since day one.

And it seems that this is "plain normal" for them, since ever.
 
I'm going to invite some of you to pour scorn on my head by disagreeing with
And of course, no choice involved!
Given that I've never had a [willing] homosexual experience (mild starts that didn't arouse me so never led to "real" sex), I'm talking completely through my arse here, but many of you are used to that from me, so [clueless theorising]...

a) It partly depends on the definition of "sexuality". Is it your basic wiring or is it what you put into practice? Because ALL of us know that the latter IS a matter of choice.

b) Although I've never had a [satisfying, arousing] homosexual relationship, I have found some men (not many) very attractive. Through shyness or a calm deliberation that the other wouldn't be AT ALL interested, I've never made a move. The men who have made moves on me... I didn't get turned on by (although one of them was my best friend, I didn't find him sexy... AND he was hitting on me mostly because he was missing his NRE girlfriend). I consider myself straight... but open to possibilities.

c) I consider bisexuality as a sliding scale from 100% straight to 100% homosexual with all the combinations in between.

d) THIS is where I get the scorn. I think you CAN decide to change your sexuality. And I mean what you prefer, not just what you act on. A parallel: I used to be jealous. I went through a process of
1) believing that jealousy was a proof of "real" love >
2) intellectualising that it wasn't doing me any good, was only causing me pain, but still I FELT it >
3) inviting/provoking situations that made me jealous as a "therapy" to have to deal with it, despite the hurt >
4) beginning to FEEL less (NOT no) jealousy >
5) honestly believing myself (and really feeling better with being) less and less jealous >
6) I can't say that I'm 100% free of jealousy, but maybe in the high 90s... and HAPPY about that.
7) determined to work on that bit that remains.

So if I can change my feeling about being in a relationship from valuing jealousy to despising it, shouldn't it be possible for me to overcome culture-enhanced FEELINGS of discomfort with homosexuality to becoming a real enthusiast? i.e. Can what you put into practice actually change your wiring? I THINK so.

I haven't got the answer, just an opinion and a few points for further debate.
 
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(FINALLY!) I'm going to get closer to the main point of this thread.

No absolutes, but I do believe that GENERALLY women are more open to adapting. I don't know whether this is due to their wiring; the fact that [and I'm speaking about women here culturally/historically not as a macho stereotypist (in fact, I'm my favourite childminder)] dealing with children constantly, if you can't adapt... you're FINISHED!; or the fact that - as freeantigone has already pointed out - women are more often FORCED to adapt.

Maybe (generalising again), men have been so programmed to winning, to being alpha, that they [we] are more likely to feel that adapting / being flexible is a sign of weakness and therefore of a loser.
Ironic that (culturally/generally) by being so set on not being losers... we lose so much.

I also think [WARNING: approaching cliché!!!] that women are (generally) more open to love, more interested in making relationships work, more willing to DO THE WORK necessary to making relationships work.

Tragically, a male homosexual is STILL considered by a huge chunk of society to be less of a man. And - too often - many gays encourage this prejudice by exaggerating EITHER their femmeness or their butchness until it appears a party piece, a bit of melodramatics, a farce.

So - not going on personal observation, but it seems believable - a woman who has fought her way over the barrier against polyamory is capable of fighting her way over the barrier of set-in-concrete sexual orientation. Also, a person curious enough to want to EXPERIMENT with polyamory is maybe curious enough to experiment with bisexuality. And "you won't know whether you like it if you don't try it".
 
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‎Also a link to a screen play on the same topic.

http://www.scotto.org/listing.php?id=561

;)
OMG, Pepper, thanks so much for that link! I've just signed up.

My 2nd favourite line:
"GREG: Carla, I'd like to congratulate you on the awkward silence you've created."

My favourite line:
"LACY: Of course I'd be jealous, but presumably I would also be distracted."

:D:D:D

Did you GO to the 14/48 festival? Throw my 90+% non-jealous comment [above] OUT THE WINDOW!!!:eek::p:(
 
I think it's just because women are so awesome. Why wouldn't everyone want them?

Boobies!
 
it is interesting to notice that almost all women here, real "polys" or "thinking about it" are bisexual.

I haven't done a poll, but there are many heterosexual and homosexual women on this forum. Certainly enough to negate "almost all."
 
So, back to the point, the woman may easier be BISEXUAL, because she may adapt herself faster/better than a man...

Furthermore (no insult, no offense, it is just something I noticed), bisexual women are "more clever" and "more generous", and have a faster brain.

So human female bisexuals:
...adapt faster...more clever....more generous?

Right. well far be it from me to question that, but maybe there's an alternate explanation for men's behaviors, maybe.....

Men are conforming to a model of strict social/sexual behaviour if we want to be sexually accepted by most other men and most women! That's shown a bit in this forum from time to time with women, just being honest, who do not find the thought of a guy sucking a dick very masculine.

It could be just that simple. Maybe the more interesting question (to me, and I am trying to be humble, but this topic does cause me to question things), would be to find out the whys behind societies preferences for how a sexual man should act.

.
 
Hello

in our polyfamily, women are bisexual
and in a perfect harmony.
They INSTALL harmony.

The other ones, I dont know
 
Hello

in our polyfamily, women are bisexual
and in a perfect harmony.
They INSTALL harmony.

The other ones, I dont know

I don't understand what you mean by install harmony.

And even though the women in your poly family are bisexual, it doesn't mean that all or even most poly women are bisexual. And to state that bisexual women are smarter and more creative is insulting to those of us that aren't bisexual.
 
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