Dating sites - besides OKC...

Yes, PMM is back up and running! They were down for a year or so doing upgrades, etc. but they've been back for about two years now.

You can find me there as Breathes_girl or Steph_n_robin although I use Breathes_girl a lot more often.
 
OKCupid was great for me.

After being on OkCupid for a few weeks and experiencing weird situations, like being matched with one of my professors, I was ready to give up on it.

Right before I did, though, I saw a profile of a man who was poly. I messaged him because of our shared interest in an author. He is married and had a girlfriend, so there wasn't a lot of pressure. It was nice because I had never been in a poly relationship. He and I chatted for some time as friends. It was a lot of fun.

After he and his girlfriend broke up, we started talking about the possibility of dating. It was nice because I had been given plenty of time to get used to the idea. To this day, things between us are wonderful. :)
 
I've been on okc for about 2 years. I met my current partner there about 3 weeks after I joined. She's a woman and women rarely message me. So it was funny about how I hooked up with her:

A few days after I joined okc, a 39 year old bi woman from Holland messaged me. She was intrigued that I was older (53 at the time), newly separated from my husband, but open, kinky, and poly. She spent months trying to set me up with this or that woman or couple. None of those people worked out.

But the first person she led me to was my gf. She kept bugging gf to message me and after a week or so, gf did. We clicked like mad, and after a week or so of PMs and IMs, we met. It was practically love at first sight.

I'm in Eastern Mass and there are lots of poly people here. I've also dated about 2 dozen men from okc with varying degrees of success. I've got one young man I meet with about once a month for sex and a few laughs. He's a delight.

Unlike most women, I do message men who interest me. That's how I got my boytoy. I'm still looking for Mr Right tho, a poly guy, either single or already in a relationship, who wants friendship, and sex, and likes to do activities outside of the bedroom, and someone who I would like to introduce to my kids and gf.

Maybe you should move to a city that is more poly friendly?
 
OkC

My husband and I are both on OkCupid... I have had plenty of interest (mostly requests for casual sex, which don't go anywhere) and met my boyfriend on the site pretty quickly. My husband has not had luck finding women okay with poly and I think it's really frustrating him. So, I feel your pain!

On OkCupid, you can do a search when looking for matches and search for keyword "poly" or "polyamory," etc. to get results of people who have listed those terms in their profile.

I haven't heard of Lavalife either, so I'm interested to try it out! Also, polymatchmaker doesn't seem to have a large or very active population, so that was a bit of a dud.

Good luck!
 
Oh, and BTW, I'm interested in seeing if poly works for me, and joined OKC to meet poly men, but I don't mention the words poly or polyamorous in my OKC profile. Women do have to be more cautious. There may be a chick on OKC for you, but it's just harder to find them.

As a poly guy located just outside of NYC who uses OKC I have a quick question.

If you don't mention poly or polyamorous in your profile, how will someone who is looking specifically for poly people find you?
 
As a poly guy located just outside of NYC who uses OKC I have a quick question.

If you don't mention poly or polyamorous in your profile, how will someone who is looking specifically for poly people find you?

I do mention being Poly in my profile -- but I have found that most of the folks who match at the higher percentages to me have answered the questions about mony/poly the same way that I have...
 
OKC is rather stale around here, too. Have you tried Plenty of Fish? That's where I met BF. DH and I met on Lavalife, but I believe you have to pay to contact people.

DH has yet to have anything really pan out, and he's been actively looking for about 6 months. I went on and got tons of messages. Mine were quantity, not quality, though.
 
OKC is rather stale around here, too. Have you tried Plenty of Fish? That's where I met BF. DH and I met on Lavalife, but I believe you have to pay to contact people.

DH has yet to have anything really pan out, and he's been actively looking for about 6 months. I went on and got tons of messages. Mine were quantity, not quality, though.
This will be true of any dating site. Women will get WAY more messages than men.
 
POF I got over ten messages a day from men sho just wanted to fuck me... la la la... took a lot of wading through and patience. I met Mono there though. He just wanted to fuck me too, but for some reason I was extra patient for him... go figure, it worked! :rolleyes:
 
I believe that most men (anyone see that special word? "most"....not all) think that if a woman's on a dating site, she must be hard up and horny. :rolleyes:
 
POF I got over ten messages a day from men sho just wanted to fuck me... la la la... took a lot of wading through and patience. I met Mono there though. He just wanted to fuck me too, but for some reason I was extra patient for him... go figure, it worked! :rolleyes:

When I was PoFing, I had to put a "skill" testing question in my profile. I asked men to tell me what my favourite colour was, which I stated was green.

I was amazed that over half still did get it right.
 
Oh, and BTW, I'm interested in seeing if poly works for me, and joined OKC to meet poly men, but I don't mention the words poly or polyamorous in my OKC profile. Women do have to be more cautious. There may be a chick on OKC for you, but it's just harder to find them.
As a poly guy located just outside of NYC who uses OKC I have a quick question.

If you don't mention poly or polyamorous in your profile, how will someone who is looking specifically for poly people find you?
A couple of ways. In my profile, I do mention something to the effect that I'm looking for a new way to be in relationships. Also, on OKC, people can see who checks your profile, so even though I don't have poly in mine, I do check profiles of poly people so they can see I've visited. If I'm really interested, I'll make them a favorite, or give their profile an award or something. Some of them look at me back, and do the same thing. This has led to conversations via the message system they have. I also make sure to answer some poly-oriented questions favorably so it shows up. If someone wants to do a little work, they get what I'm about. I don't like making it too easy, I guess. Online dating is all very new to me anyway, but the one poly guy with whom I've been corresponding is someone I contacted myself first, with a message. This seems to be working for me, as I am very cautious.
 
Re: dating sites other than OKC

I've been on OKC now for quite a while and have had zero luck meeting anyone poly. 99% of the women on there seem to be looking for traditional relationships. :/ I met an awesome new friend on there, but thats about it.

Anyone know of any sites more geared toward poly or open relationships?

Its getting depressing to not know where to look. :( Seems like there has to be someone for me out there.... its just finding her..... grrr

Andy
I hear you my brother. I know this may not help you at all but you are not alone. Unfortunately much that OKC is very poly-friendly we (sadly) can't create more poly or poly-curious women out there.

I & my wife had been back on OKC for about four months.
We both had separate profiles. She was getting about five emails a week from interested guys. I was getting about two a month.

Yes it sux. All I can suggest is join and attend local Poly social gatherings. They can be so much fun. And guess what! Not all the women there will fancy you but the vast majority of them are open to guys like you and I.

I recommend them.

I wish you all the best I really do.

Rich
 
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