Ok this is kinda long but... I'm 30 yrs old and my lady is 42 yrs old lets call her Liz. Well Liz and I have talked about poly and she was moving alone nicely getting use to the idea (I want this) all was going well and she even found this forum for me... untill she got a funny feeling about a woman that i worked with. Now me and this woman got kinda close and we had fun at work (joking and laughing) and we became text buddies. Liz didn't like this as I use sex as my humor, you know the shock factor, which Liz knows that I do she has worked with me before. I was just being me and the woman at work followed suit and came right back with sex jokes. I thought all was well. Liz read some of the text and told me I can no longer talk to this woman. Lets call her Beth. Beth is 23 yrs old and both Liz and Beth are red heads, both wear glasses and are both cancers. I never thought of Beth in a sexual way or even as the third person in our new poly life but Liz seems to think that I was holding on to Beth and keeping her in the wings untill Liz was ready. I've told her over and over again that was not my intention but six months later (after we've stopped talking about it) maybe she was right, maybe I was doing just that. Now I don't know if Beth would even go for the idea of being poly but the more I thought about it the more it became a yes to try it. But I can no longer speak to Beth and if I brought this up to Liz it would cause a whole new set of problems. Also after I was no longer allowed to speak to Beth I did anyway and was caught twice. It was my stupid man child voice saying nobodies gonna tell me who I can and can't be friends with!!! Also Liz and I have moved in together about 2 months ago and I can't find a way to talk about any of this without seeming to look like it was all some kind of plan or something. is there any way to do this without giving Liz the feeling that its all a plan or that I'm trying to replace her or something like that? Liz is my world and I don't wanna make her feel as if she's not