Wow, a lot has happened since I last commented here. I thought I had updated, but I see I didn't.
It took a few more days (after my last post) for things to come to a head around here. The mountain of emotions that had been bearing on me came crashing down on Saturday evening. I had a complete breakdown and just SOBBED. I felt like all week long I was not getting through to him. I felt like I was unimportant and insignificant. He just sat and HELD me while I cried it all out. He just patiently waited for me to speak, and when I finally did, it was the first time since this all started that I TRULY felt like he was not only hearing me, but understanding. We talked and talked and talked... literally ALL NIGHT until the sun came up.
He always knew what I expected as far as open honest communication... but now he understands WHY it is so important to me. And as hurt as I was by his actions and lack of honesty about those actions, I understand why. As hurt as I was feeling, he confided how much HE was hurting knowing he was the cause of my pain. Most importantly, I am completely secure in believing that he will be completely open with me in the future.
As for HER... I agreed to let her come over for a visit. I wanted to keep an open mind, despite the bad circumstances in which she happened into our lives. I wanted to, at the very least, be on friendly terms with her so I could give him my blessing in going forward with her. That said, they BOTH agreed that things would only progress (between them) at a pace I could be comfortable with. For that, I have a lot of respect for them both... especially her. She is completely new to exploring poly.