Happy to be here.

AntiVenom

New member
I guess I’ll start with the obligatory “I’m new here.”

It’s hard to organize my thoughts right now, which is kind of why I’m here. Ever since I can remember I’ve always had a feeling that 27 was going to be the best year of my life. I have had very vivid dreams of happiness and fulfillment. Although each dream takes place in a different city with different people, 2 things remain the same. First, I’m always 27, secondly, I’m in a poly relationship. Of course as a youngster, I didn’t know what that was or what significance it had. So pretty much forever, I’ve had thoughts of polyamory.
To parallel these dreams, in my “real life” I have always had these views or beliefs that I pushed down inside me because I felt strange. I have displaced feelings regarding traditional/”moral” behavior regarding love and being in love and giving love, and I actually have/had a tremendous amount of guilt regarding the way I think things should be. I have been in several long term monogamous relationships with men and women and though each relationship was different and unique, the one common issue was that I always felt that I had all this love to give, and that I wasn’t ever getting enough from just one person. I felt like “if things could just be as I dream…..” if only I could have 2 or 3 partners. I could do that. That would make me happy. I also felt like I could be a better lover and partner if I didn’t have to focus my affection to one person. However, I had never even heard of polyamory. The only thing even close to polyamory that I had ever heard of was Mormon polygamists’ or cult like ownership of multiple women by one man.

A couple days after my 27th birthday (2 weeks ago) I was on facebook reading a discussion regarding a lesbian couple’s wedding, one particular poster/friend of the couple (who are friends of a friend of mine) had very insightful comments and so I clicked on her profile. She had links listed for a couple of poly sites, and I’m telling you right now it was the most intense butterflies I’ve ever felt. First of all, knowing there are so many people who live these completely fulfilling lives, who are quite literally living my dream. And I know it’s corny, but how bizarre that I stumbled onto all of this 2 days after my birthday of the year I had always dreamed about. I know it sounds unreal. Anyway, I spent the next several hours on my computer just reading and reading and I kept finding myself thinking thoughts like “YES!” or “That’s exactly how it should be” or “I feel that way too!”

I’m here to read and learn and hopefully gain knowledge and resources to guide me in the direction that I’ve dreamt of and been compelled toward for so long.
 
Congratulations on finding your path!

I personally do believe in "destiny" or whatever you want to call it. I think the universe has plans and that while we can choose our own paths, we always arrive at certain pre-determined destinations at various points in our lives. I feel that every soul is born into the body that will help it learn the lessons it needs to learn in that lifetime. So I'm not at all surprised by what you said :)

Welcome to the forum!
 
Ever since I can remember I’ve always had a feeling that 27 was going to be the best year of my life.

You do realize that this suggests that things are just gonna get worse after you turn 28, and you still have quite a few years left barring untimely death?
 
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You do realize that this suggests that things are just gonna get worse after you turn 28, and you still have quite a few years left barring untimely death?

GEEEZE THANKS A LOT! jk lol.
i never saw it that way, it's good food for thought though, perhaps i need a paradigm shift ;)
 
GEEEZE THANKS A LOT! jk lol.
i never saw it that way, it's good food for thought though, perhaps i need a paradigm shift ;)

Obviously you could tell that I was being cheeky, but I was being sort of serious too. You could always amend it to "the best year of my life so far". It doesn't have to be a HUGE paradigm shift.
 
Isn't it great to find something you resonate with, after all of these years of this weird dissonance that nobody could really explain to you?
 
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