leelee22
New member
So, my former BF (a man in an open relationship) whom I dumped a couple weeks ago (I was upset about my status in the thing -- he was claiming his GF was unwilling for me to be anything more than purely a sex partner to him) has gotten in touch and "wants to talk".
I said I would. (Cowering now, and peering over shoulder, expecting BoringGuy to clobber me with a couple of brutal sentences)
I am not sure really whether this means he wants to see if he can renegotiate new terms with me. I'm not convinced he has enough authority -- his GF seems to have all the power in their relationship. But between dumping him and now, I have read alot on this board (and off it), and feel like I know a little bit about how these relationships CAN work when done right. I wouldn't mind talking with him about it. He is a PhD, it's within his capacity to understand. But unfortunately I'm shy in person and won't be as articulate as I'd like to be.
Also, while I think he'd understand my vision of what a poly relationship could be, I don't think he could sell it to his GF. And if we were to try again, I think I'd need some kind of direct communication from her about what precisely she is agreeing to. Don't want to hear it secondhand from him. I maybe even would demand to actually meet the woman.
Anyway, wish me luck. Going to try to sit a couple chairs away from this guy so I can't smell his scent while trying to make my points. Won't look at his muscular cyclist calves or touch his silky curls.
Will report back about how it goes...
I said I would. (Cowering now, and peering over shoulder, expecting BoringGuy to clobber me with a couple of brutal sentences)
I am not sure really whether this means he wants to see if he can renegotiate new terms with me. I'm not convinced he has enough authority -- his GF seems to have all the power in their relationship. But between dumping him and now, I have read alot on this board (and off it), and feel like I know a little bit about how these relationships CAN work when done right. I wouldn't mind talking with him about it. He is a PhD, it's within his capacity to understand. But unfortunately I'm shy in person and won't be as articulate as I'd like to be.
Also, while I think he'd understand my vision of what a poly relationship could be, I don't think he could sell it to his GF. And if we were to try again, I think I'd need some kind of direct communication from her about what precisely she is agreeing to. Don't want to hear it secondhand from him. I maybe even would demand to actually meet the woman.
Anyway, wish me luck. Going to try to sit a couple chairs away from this guy so I can't smell his scent while trying to make my points. Won't look at his muscular cyclist calves or touch his silky curls.
Will report back about how it goes...