A Plea for Nicknames

opalescent

Active member
Disclaimer: I'm not a mod or anything like that here. What I say is just my personal thoughts.

So, onward...

I urge folks who post here, even if not regularly, to assign nicknames to important people they reference in their posts. That usually means partners and metamours, but often includes children, friends, and other family members.

I, personally, cannot keep track of who is who using just initials. I just lose track. It's seems most people date an 'M' or a 'S' sooner or later. I just can't figure out who is who, especially if the cast of characters, so to speak, are many and intertwined - as is often the case. And I get one poster's 'T' mixed up with other 'T's. It's so confusing. I find myself not reading posts where there are a lot of initials. Just too much to figure out.

So, please, figure out some brief descriptive nicknames and use them. I remember nicknames so much better, especially if they are truly descriptive in some way. For example, lots of people have 'Dear Husband' or DH. This is still better than an 'H' as far as my retention of it. But if you provide me with some sort of 'hook' about the person, I will remember it, and be more likely to want to interact, make suggestions or just chat.

And you can always change them if need be. I've done that with how I refer to my ex-wife.

Finally, nicknames are just fun. Have some giggles! My current favorite is 'Punkrockawesomesauce'. I won't forget that! I chuckle whenever LovingRadiance refers to her Peas - her children and grandchildren.

Let's get nicknaming, people!
 
Could not agree more! I can't follow the initials even with a key in the signature. You know who those people are and can picture them when you're writing but to me they are a letter and they all look the same!
 
Total agreement I can't follow who is who when it's just an initial, and I often find myself skimming such posts, not giving my full attention.
 
Wellllll... I abbreviate nicknames.

P is for "partner" - real creative, I know. I can't use DH because it isn't correct, I hate BF because (to me) it sounds very high school, and DP ("dear partner?") has a WHOLE OTHER MEANING. And literally writing "partner" and "metamour" sounds like a 'bot is narrating.

To be honest, I like the level of anonymity. I'd be willing to bet that some folks from the poly groups in our area frequent this board, and probably know M1 at the very least. I don't need her to possibly get ID'd through my venting on a bad day and have it be communicated (or miscommunicated) back to her.

It's not foolproof, but it's another step towards obfuscation. Sorry. :)

Edited to add:
Of course, after I say that, my brain goes off on a tangent to think about possible nicknames. Point goes to Opalescent for getting my brain to go, "Sure, why not!" after it's already gone, "But I like it this way!" ;)
 
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I use my guys nicknames.

Butch is a family nickname for him.

Most of Murf's friends call him such.

My kids are Moose and Squirrel. They got that nickname from my best friend of 20 years. He has a strong German accent and it stuck because he couldn't remember Rocky and Bullwinkle.
 
I totally agree. When people use letters, I usually just stop reading, because I can't keep it straight.
 
Hmmmm. I've thought about doing nicknames and feel stuck with the initials I started using, honestly. Maybe turn WI into Winona and AM into Amy. Ha. But why the hell not? Anonymity is important to us, but fake names really are more readable...
 
Agreed! It does make following other people's posts easier. I also find it easier to write like that as well, using nicknames instead of single letters. I think the text flows a bit better like that. In my case the nicknames have nothing to do with the people's actual names, they are just names I happen to like for one reason or another.
 
Opal, with your request I edited my latest blog post changing initials to a name. Others will be given those as they are talked about.
 
Sometimes I use initials when I've just gone on a date or two with someone and don't know whether or not I will keep seeing that person. As soon as I think the relationship is going to continue, I put a lot of thought into the alias I will use here. Either that or they are an established friend in my life. I base my nicknames either on physical features or personality: Shorty (he's 6'5" tall), Burnsy (for his sideburns), Bony (skinny guy), Dreamy (no explanation needed), Cranky (could've been Whiney too), Lively (full of energy), and Chessy (for his chestnut brown complexion). I like to always end mine in -y to give myself a challenge (hey, don't steal my idea! Get your own suffix or prefix!). I try to make up aliases that really fit the guys in some way, and that makes it fun!

But count me as another person who cannot follow all the T's, M's, A's, P's, and so on. What it does is mixes me up on who is posting - I will confuse one member with another because they both are writing about people using the same initials. So then I can't really get as invested in their stories or give much feedback because I'm confused about who is who.
 
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As much as I want to read some post my eyes simply gloss over with a sea of M's and D's. Nicknames are always appreciated. I feel I know Ginger more than just a G but maybe that's just me...
 
I have conceded. Besides, with each new metamour, people were starting to sound like car models. :D
 
I lack imagination to make up nicknames. The ones I use were made up by someone I used to date.
He used jobs and/or country of origin.
I will go amend sig :)
 
I very much prefer nick names over initials. The names chosen for my loves are actually the names of the cars we drive. Lol.
 
Hi Opal,

So it took me a couple of days, but I've come up with some. The connection for each nickname is pretty obscure, but Clyde likes his. He was mulling over the idea of getting a button that says "Clyde" to wear to a polyboston gathering.

Thanks for pointing out the usefulness! I would not have guessed, myself.

FAL

--------------------------------

M - Me female, 59 - _trying_ to figure out if I'm poly
Clyde (previously B) - 56 - my husband for over 34 years
Jacques (previously JP) - 58 - my high school boyfriend, newly appeared in the picture after 38 years; very long distance; haven't actually seen him
Artemis (previously A) - 65? - Jacques's wife of over 30 years, who's not cool with things
 
Heh. I love my PunkRock Awesomesauce! He really is all that. :) I have been thinking about changing my husband's moniker from a letter to a name. I'll do that soon!
 
I have just stopped reading posts with single initials. Becomes hard to follow. I do agree..

besides in the end.. who is going to know who Mark vs M is?.. really and honestly. :).. unless you are all trying to remain hidden from each other on this site of course
 
This is a good thread, indeed!

As I first started lurking here on this forum, there were sooo many people using only initials in the posts that I thought this is how it is supposed to be. Then I realized that some people have nicknames for the people in their lives... and I ended up mixing these two. Let's see if I can find a better nickname for my hubby than the two-letter one I am currently using (well, two letters is better than one, right??).
 
Not only are nicknames easier to read, but they're actually more anonymous than initials. If you're A and your partner is P and your other partner is S, then someone who knows all three of you might be able to put it together. Nicknames, on the other hand, can bear absolutely no relation to the real person. Indeed, you can make them deliberately obscure just to mislead people. For example, Cue has absolutely no interest in pool.
 
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