Ivy
Member
So, I've seen a couple threads where women have talked about being boy-crazy as a teenager, being labeled a "whore," and what that did to their self-esteem.
Now, I come from the other side of the tracks, so to speak--I was never pretty at all, and despite much crushing, it wasn't until late in high school that I got any attention at all. I was called names just as brutal as "whore," but without any validation in the form of being desired.
Many of the women who were most brutal toward me were those who were "boy-crazy." I wasn't even allowed to have a harmless crush on anyone; it inevitably turned into relentless taunting. At the time, I rationalized it thus: those girls defined their self-worth entirely by their appeal to men; I had very little appeal to men; therefore, in their worldview, I was worthless. (The boys agreed, of course). Moreover, they were unwilling to share attention, because less attention would mean less personal security--so every female interaction was a round of competition.
For those of you who were boy-crazy and blessed with good looks, how did you view women who weren't attractive? I definitely saw the "boy-crazy" girls as cruel, greedy, and vain, and I'm embarrassed to admit I sometimes responded accordingly. I'm curious what the view was from the other side of the tracks. What motivated the pretty girls to treat the rest of us with such disgust and disdain?
It sucks to feel like crap about your sexuality, whether they're calling you a whore or a fat cow. Sadly, I suspect mutual understanding, respect, and support are beyond the emotional capacity of most teenagers.
Any thoughts or input?
Now, I come from the other side of the tracks, so to speak--I was never pretty at all, and despite much crushing, it wasn't until late in high school that I got any attention at all. I was called names just as brutal as "whore," but without any validation in the form of being desired.
Many of the women who were most brutal toward me were those who were "boy-crazy." I wasn't even allowed to have a harmless crush on anyone; it inevitably turned into relentless taunting. At the time, I rationalized it thus: those girls defined their self-worth entirely by their appeal to men; I had very little appeal to men; therefore, in their worldview, I was worthless. (The boys agreed, of course). Moreover, they were unwilling to share attention, because less attention would mean less personal security--so every female interaction was a round of competition.
For those of you who were boy-crazy and blessed with good looks, how did you view women who weren't attractive? I definitely saw the "boy-crazy" girls as cruel, greedy, and vain, and I'm embarrassed to admit I sometimes responded accordingly. I'm curious what the view was from the other side of the tracks. What motivated the pretty girls to treat the rest of us with such disgust and disdain?
It sucks to feel like crap about your sexuality, whether they're calling you a whore or a fat cow. Sadly, I suspect mutual understanding, respect, and support are beyond the emotional capacity of most teenagers.
Any thoughts or input?
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