and was wondering if you all can give me some advice. My husband recently opened up to me and told me he is poly. At first, I was upset, I felt like I wasn't enough (sometimes I still feel like that) But then, I thought, just because I'm not this way, doesn't mean it's fake. So I decided to trust him and learn to let him be who he is. I love him, and because of that, I don't want to lose him or smother him.
We talked a lot about all of it (some of it leading to heated discussions but were resolved) but I still feel like I'm not understanding fully. I guess maybe I will never fully understand since I am mono myself. I feel stronger in our marriage now than ever before. It's me who he comes home to everyday, me he has stayed with, me who he shares a life with. but even so, I still get jealous. I don't know if these feelings of jealousy are real feelings or if they are pregnancy induced (we just got pregnant from our make up sex from finding out he was poly, go figure)
I know he loves me, but because of the jealousy, I'm terrified one day I'm going to loose him. That one day he is going to find someone else who he loves more. We have talked about it, but sometimes I feel like I can't describe how I feel accurately to him while I'm still upset about my current feelings. He always tells me he loves me more than anything and that he would be mono for me, but I don't want to try to change him. I have noticed since coming out to me about all of this, he has been more relaxed and happy. I don't want to take that away from him.
But I feel like I am still smothering him. I can't seem to let go and let him be in a relationship without me interfering. I just found out that, while they have not had sex, he has been walking around in the nude around his girlfriend. I got upset because I wasn't told about this sooner or wasn't asked if it was ok, but then felt like a controlling witch immediately after thinking that. I felt like I was losing control of the situation and thus, becoming close to losing my husband.
I'm sorry for the novel, if you got through it, then thank you very much! I guess I just needed to get it off my chest and ask for advice on how to let go and feel better about all of this. Or for someone to tell me it's just new pregnancy hormones and I need to chill out
We talked a lot about all of it (some of it leading to heated discussions but were resolved) but I still feel like I'm not understanding fully. I guess maybe I will never fully understand since I am mono myself. I feel stronger in our marriage now than ever before. It's me who he comes home to everyday, me he has stayed with, me who he shares a life with. but even so, I still get jealous. I don't know if these feelings of jealousy are real feelings or if they are pregnancy induced (we just got pregnant from our make up sex from finding out he was poly, go figure)
I know he loves me, but because of the jealousy, I'm terrified one day I'm going to loose him. That one day he is going to find someone else who he loves more. We have talked about it, but sometimes I feel like I can't describe how I feel accurately to him while I'm still upset about my current feelings. He always tells me he loves me more than anything and that he would be mono for me, but I don't want to try to change him. I have noticed since coming out to me about all of this, he has been more relaxed and happy. I don't want to take that away from him.
But I feel like I am still smothering him. I can't seem to let go and let him be in a relationship without me interfering. I just found out that, while they have not had sex, he has been walking around in the nude around his girlfriend. I got upset because I wasn't told about this sooner or wasn't asked if it was ok, but then felt like a controlling witch immediately after thinking that. I felt like I was losing control of the situation and thus, becoming close to losing my husband.
I'm sorry for the novel, if you got through it, then thank you very much! I guess I just needed to get it off my chest and ask for advice on how to let go and feel better about all of this. Or for someone to tell me it's just new pregnancy hormones and I need to chill out