I find myself reading this post again. I'm looking for answers internally, but have already answered the same questions. I did it in black and white. What will be the measure of who I am, based on what l've learned? Will it be doing as l have always said l would, based on who l was? Or will l go back on my definitives and allow myself to change? And if so, what truly are my motives? Is it to obtain something I want, or to paint a pretty picture of the thoughts I've had? Is it a lame attempt to somehow make myself out to be more noble than I am? Or is it because maybe l have changed and have to own up to it?
Now I must figure out the cost of losing integrity at least one more time. Perhaps it is time for some more black and white admittance to myself about what I can offer the people in my life, on what level they are safe and what levels to avoid. The work continues.