Poly and sex

JustUs

Member
Disclaimer: I was very/am very hesitant to post this question, just because in the poly lifestyle I have read very little about it...

But, my wife and I are in a V-Poly relationship, my wife is the hinge between myself and her boyfriend. We all get along very well together as a group as well as he and I are good friends as well (both heterosexual). My wife and I have been poly for about 6 years total, the first year or two, didn't see it as poly.

My question is, probably geared more to the men out there, but there maybe some wives/girlfriends who SO may have the same feelings or thoughts. But, are there men who are turned on or aroused by the act of their wife having sex with their bf or enjoy hearing about it afterwards and such or if there has been times they may have had sex with each other while all 3 sleeping in the same bed and seeing them together a turn on?

Like I said, I have seen little written about this on this poly site, so my fear of posting it in the first place is I feel it might be a taboo subject when it comes to the poly lifestyle or is it something that is common but just not spoken about. Any input would be great.
 
I don't think that's a taboo subject at all! I've actually seen it expressed around here in other threads. Some people say they have compersion, others talk about a cuckhold fetish, I think it depends on how the situation comes about.

Personally, I find it really hot the idea of either of my guys being with someone else. DH has expressed that he enjoys being able to share comments about more intimate things with another but he and DC fluctuate. Sometimes they are all teasing and kind of turned on about me being with the other, sometimes they feel more like saying "TMI!"

To be honest, and I don't think I've mentioned this before but, I had a visit just before X Mas to see DC, it was our first visit and so we were all nervous and aware of it going to become intimate so we had a code in place for the first time we had sex. That was a bit unnerving, but after that, it was all relaxed. DC and I had four days together and well, the last day we did nothing physically because he was, sore.

When I got home that came up, and now both DH and DC will tease me about how I 'broke his dick'. (I still contend it was not entirely my fault!) So there's times it is a real turn on and the times it's not seem to be times when someone isn't feeling as though they are getting enough private attention. Which I think is natural.
 
I feel that way-turns me on.
However-neiter Maca or Gg feel that way. They don't want to hear/see. We have had a threesome togetger on two diff occasions. But Gg can't get it up at all in that situation. Pretty pointless as far as I am concerned.

Their sexual interests are so disparate. Its just a waste of energy to try again.
 
What they said. While it may not be some people's "thing", it's hardly unusual and certainly not "taboo".
 
Thanks to all three of you for your comments. I am glad others get something from it as well, and that it is not considered taboo.
But it does makes sense that it is not for everyone. I do feel that us talking about it also keeps communication very open, which we do a lot of, but I also want them (my wife and her bf) to be ok with keeping some things between themselves and not to have to tell me all the details...
I do agree with the compersion aspect of it very much also.
 
I don't want to see it, but I've learned since woodsmith and I moved in with primal and lamian that I do enjoy hearing primal and lamian. Partly because they are friends and I want their relationship to stay healthy and partly because I know how much joy it brings primal to please his partners so even when it's not me I enjoy knowing he's getting that pleasure.

Woodsmith I've found out wants a bit of distance. He knows primal and I have sex but doesn't want to hear about it. Even as an explanation if I'm exhausted.
 
My question is, probably geared more to the men out there, but there maybe some wives/girlfriends who SO may have the same feelings or thoughts. But, are there men who are turned on or aroused by the act of their wife having sex with their bf or enjoy hearing about it afterwards and such or if there has been times they may have had sex with each other while all 3 sleeping in the same bed and seeing them together a turn on?

Like I said, I have seen little written about this on this poly site, so my fear of posting it in the first place is I feel it might be a taboo subject when it comes to the poly lifestyle or is it something that is common but just not spoken about. Any input would be great.

This is not a rare feeling. In fact, there may be roots of this feeling in early humankind, when we lived in tribes, didn't marry, and men would "stand in line" to fuck an ovulating woman. Read "Sex at Dawn." Very interesting book with lots of anthropological (and zoological/ape) evidence for this phenomenon.

It explains the size and shape of human males' genitalia, why women are vocal during sex, and many other things.
 
My BF likes to know I'm being satisfied by my lover, he likes me to talk about it, and to watch us. We do not have threesomes as such, as only my lover and I have sex when the three of us are together, my bf does participate in a way though.

We do have a full on cuckold dynamic in our relationship now though, so I guess those things go hand in hand.
 
My wife is the hinge in our V, with another male partner who is transitioning to female via estrogen therapy.

My wife wanted us to have a threesome together, so we tried.

It was a very odd experience.

For me, it's just too much like cuckoldry now. I don't want to know - I don't want to discuss it with them - etc. It's not the transgender thing at all. Such things just aren't my cup of tea.

Probably everyone would be on a spectrum when it comes to this, is my guess. I don't think it's a taboo topic.
 
Thanks to everyone for the great responses. It's nice to know other's get the same satisfaction from hearing about their partners experiences and such. I do know it is not for everyone as a lot of people follow the DADT rule, which is great if it works for them. Nice thing is, everyone's relationships are different, but always good to hear what works for others.
Also, this is the nice thing about this website and the members, most everyone is open minded and not judgemental, which makes posting questions and such much easier knowing it is a great group of people on here to give there insight and experiences.
 
I may be odd here but I love the sounds of sex. It's just does it for me. Watching porn is distracting when with a partner but having it on In the background, hearing the sounds is helpful lol. So if SO was to be givin it to another girl and I heard it then I don't think I'd be all that offended.

To be curt. ;)
 
I may be odd here but I love the sounds of sex. It's just does it for me. Watching porn is distracting when with a partner but having it on In the background, hearing the sounds is helpful lol. So if SO was to be givin it to another girl and I heard it then I don't think I'd be all that offended.

To be curt. ;)

Nope, its not just you! Hearing them, either if I am in the room or down the hall does it for me a lot also....Not much into porn, especially in the background...but real life...is all good!
 
Thanks to everyone for the great responses. It's nice to know other's get the same satisfaction from hearing about their partners experiences and such. I do know it is not for everyone as a lot of people follow the DADT rule, which is great if it works for them.

I wonder how many poly people do not want their partners to tell their other partner about their sex, and how many don't care? Personally I've never had a lover mind me telling another about what we do. In fact, most seem to get turned on by hearing about the other, or knowing I've described some things, to the other. My 2 lovers just want me to be happy, and they know nothing cheers up Mags like a good sex session!
 
When my bf and I first started hooking up, the SO wanted every single detail. It was REALLY awkward, but it is what he needed to make himself okay, so I obliged. Now that he knows that I am willing to not hide things if he needs them for his personal comfort, he doesn't really ask me anything at all.

Last weekend we were all together for the first time. I looked up and saw the SO's face and he looked really pleased. He was just watching. That threw me off a little for a minute or two, but he did seem to truly enjoy it.

In my case, unless I am actually involved with him and a gf, I don't want details. At all. Doesn't mean I mind him doing it, just means that is not what I need on his side of our relationship. We have our ground rules regarding safety (for my body as much as for his) and I trust that he will follow them.
 
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I can understand telling your SO the details of your sex with your boyfriend, especially if its not something you are accustomed to doing lol...Before we were poly, my wife would tell me stories of guys she had been with before she was with me, and found it interesting I was turned on hearing about all the details...and it just went from there.

So, her boyfriend is coming at the end of the week to visit for 3 weeks. As always, should be a fun and interesting time. I am sure she will have a few stories to tell, as I will be at work during the day. Maybe if I am lucky at some point, I will be in the house when they are together and be able to hear them together.

Nice thing is, he and I get along very well. So when we are all 3 together (non sexually) we have a good time cooking/grilling, having a few drinks and just relaxing together.
 
not taboo

Wife and I are in a v with her being the hinge and yes I like to hear about what they do, If I am there when they are together I love to listen to them playing as she is very vocal. To know that she is getting pleasure is a huge turn on for me. I have gotten a peek from time to time, most accidental. The best was when I walked in on them in the middle of pleasuring each other because I didn't know they were even in the house. They both looked so happy and into it it was quite a sight to see and we all had a good laugh about it later. We do not so far have threesomes although I of course would not mind at all and neither would my wife so maybe someday. I do not thing this is a taboo subject and we look at it as normal in our poly relationship. We know he hears us together as well and that is a turn on for all of us. I would say enjoy, don't worry about what others may think and make your way through life any way the 3 of you want....
 
I am the hinge in mfm v. We all live together and share a bed. It is not unusual for us to all be together for sex although my bf and husband are not sexually interactive. We also try to include some one on one time - this usually solves itself with the varying work schedules. Both M and Blue prefer for us all to be together but I do require a little one on one time.
 
I'm the hinge of an M/F/M vee. TG doesn't mind hearing details or if we're telling him stories, and I don't think hearing a bit of floorboard squeak if me and L are enjoying some alone time bothers him. But I highly doubt he gets off on it.

L has a slightly stronger kink for it. Just showed him this thread, and he says he finds the energy a bit of a turn on.

We also tend to play off energy as a group, even though we would never have a threesome/do stuff with one while other watches. By playing on energy I mean like this weekend we've had a few days to hang out, cook together and play games/watch films. And L/TG both like winding me up, both alone, and in front of the other. Through light teasing/suggestiveness/etc...

Which I admit...is a turn on (and glad I'm allowed to sneak off with each one for a while when required)...
 
Neither my wife or gf want to hear details, but they do like reading about fantasies I write about the other.

I, on the other hand, can't ever get enough details. I got to see some pictures of an encounter once. So exciting!
 
Thanks to everyone for the great responses. It's nice to know other's get the same satisfaction from hearing about their partners experiences and such. I do know it is not for everyone as a lot of people follow the DADT rule, which is great if it works for them. Nice thing is, everyone's relationships are different, but always good to hear what works for others.
Also, this is the nice thing about this website and the members, most everyone is open minded and not judgemental, which makes posting questions and such much easier knowing it is a great group of people on here to give there insight and experiences.

My wife and I love it this way. Since she has had sex with someone bigger than me she found out I'm not big enough for her. She now has a well hung lover. We always have sex right after he leaves, She shares her sex with me. Just brings us closer and gets me real horny.
 
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