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Old 07-28-2012, 04:07 PM
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CielDuMatin CielDuMatin is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Upstate New York, USA
Posts: 1,467

Different people have different needs and things they are willing to do. One person's "wanting to stay in touch" is another person's "clingy".

It sounds like you have a realistic picture of this person - the sorts of things he does and is willing to do. You can and should certainly make your desires and wishes known, but if it's not something that he really wants to do, I feel that it's unrealistic for you to expect him to change.

Once you know that, it's then your turn to decide whether you still want a relationship with this person and, if so, what that relationship should be. Most folks that use the primary/secondary terms to describe a relationship, also add a "tertiary" - someone that you have only occasional contact with and who isn't much involved in day-to-day life. It might well be that the two of you are best-suited to have a tertiary relationship. The benefit of that for you is that the degree of trust necessary to keep the relationship in place is lower that for a secondary or a primary. The question is: do you trust him enough for even that? What is he doing to regain the trust that you have so obviously lost given previous actions on his part?

"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb
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