ManTheMyth
New member
Hello everybody,
So this is my first post here as this is really the first time this has become an issue in my life. I guess I'll start with the back story.
So I have been with my fiance for nearing 2 years now, and we are madly in love with each other, and perfect for each other in every way, except sexually. My fiance has a regular sex drive, and I am leaning towards being asexual. I'm not fully asexual, I do have sex, but I don't desire it.
We realised this was an issue early on but kind of hoped it would solve itself. It didn't, obviously, and actually became a larger issue in time, and even after trying therapy we still don't have a real solution.
We have discussed the idea of opening the relationship a few times, but this weekend we finally seriously discussed it, and decided it was a viable solution. I am a monogamous male, and while my fiance is not polyamorous, for the sake of her sexual desires and sexual attraction being fulfilled, we have agreed to enter a mono-poly relationship.
I understand that my fiance is not really polyamorous but I do understand polyamory can come in all shapes and sizes, so this is our situation.
Getting to the stage of accepting to open the relationship was difficult, and I am unsure as to how successful this will be. Not actually being polyamorous entering a poly world will be hard for my fiance, and will obviously be a big challenge for me too.
So far I am okay, since nothing has happened yet, it's just been approved so to speak. We have set our ground rules and are both content with them.
However, I am scared how it will ACTUALLY be, living with it for our entire lives. How will I cope being at home, knowing my fiance is out with a guy? How do I sit by watching her get ready to go on dates when I'm not invited? How do I sleep at night in an empty bed, knowing my fiance could be lying next to someone else?
To anybody who is the mono side of a mono-poly relationship, how do you cope? Does it get easier in time? I feel it's going to be extremely difficult to begin with, for both of us.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
So this is my first post here as this is really the first time this has become an issue in my life. I guess I'll start with the back story.
So I have been with my fiance for nearing 2 years now, and we are madly in love with each other, and perfect for each other in every way, except sexually. My fiance has a regular sex drive, and I am leaning towards being asexual. I'm not fully asexual, I do have sex, but I don't desire it.
We realised this was an issue early on but kind of hoped it would solve itself. It didn't, obviously, and actually became a larger issue in time, and even after trying therapy we still don't have a real solution.
We have discussed the idea of opening the relationship a few times, but this weekend we finally seriously discussed it, and decided it was a viable solution. I am a monogamous male, and while my fiance is not polyamorous, for the sake of her sexual desires and sexual attraction being fulfilled, we have agreed to enter a mono-poly relationship.
I understand that my fiance is not really polyamorous but I do understand polyamory can come in all shapes and sizes, so this is our situation.
Getting to the stage of accepting to open the relationship was difficult, and I am unsure as to how successful this will be. Not actually being polyamorous entering a poly world will be hard for my fiance, and will obviously be a big challenge for me too.
So far I am okay, since nothing has happened yet, it's just been approved so to speak. We have set our ground rules and are both content with them.
However, I am scared how it will ACTUALLY be, living with it for our entire lives. How will I cope being at home, knowing my fiance is out with a guy? How do I sit by watching her get ready to go on dates when I'm not invited? How do I sleep at night in an empty bed, knowing my fiance could be lying next to someone else?
To anybody who is the mono side of a mono-poly relationship, how do you cope? Does it get easier in time? I feel it's going to be extremely difficult to begin with, for both of us.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.