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In the immortal words of my Jr. High Family Life teacher, "Fight nice Children!"
In the immortal words of my Jr. High Family Life teacher, "Fight nice Children!"
Oh my goodness.
I suppose in some disturbing way it's "nice" to see everything around here has stayed predictably similar in the time I've been gone......
It's not so much that someone without children can't understand what it's like to raise a child ect it's that until you have a child it's hard to truly get that this little person's needs come before anyone else's (including your own). I am talking about this from my own perspective however. Maybe other people really can get what it's like to have a child without having had one themselves. Before having my kids though I never knew someone could be that important to me.
I think that giving a new partner's needs the same weight right off the bat is cruel to those already involved in the relationship.
I think its hard for kids to have to share a parent with someone else. They are little humans that have their own personalities and needs for relationship. Is it fair that we ask them to go through all that we as grownups go through when our partners chose another partner? I sometimes wonder in some cases. After all, kids don't have the maturity to communicate sophistically as adults do. Generally speaking.
By that rationale, single mums shouldn't date at all. I think it's just a matter of balance. Different kids have different levels of neediness based on several different factors...the romantic events in their parents' lives being one of them.
It's not that single moms shouldn't date at all but rather that it should be done at an appropriate pace for the child where there is a lot of talking between the parent and the child (at an age appropriate level) about what is going on and what is likely going to happen next.
I think what I'm trying to say is that there are ways to date with children involved which are respectful towards the children and ways to date that aren't.
I said "in some cases" Ceoli. I don't think people with kids shouldn't date, just that it is better, in my experience, for a child to be considered carefully and more so than an adult in someones life.
Again, I don't think that children should be considered more carefully than adults was ever in dispute. Even though you said "in some cases" I was responding to the generality of the statement and where it *could* lead. Is that allowed?
I am not understanding your concern for the generality of what I say. What is your concern with it? Could explain further?
(no offense intended) but like Ygirl-who says she doesn't want kids, I couldn't date her. My whole world is kids. We could be friends, but I couldn't be her lover. If I was, she'd essentially end up having kids and the responsibilities that go with that. As a friend, she could limit her contact with me to phone/internet and not be involved with the kids, but as a lover?
I think Derby was responding to someone elses thoughts on that last quote there Ceoli. I don't think the post she was responding to is there anymore. Could be wrong.
If anything I am a tad apologetic. It seems to be more of a situation of me feeling like I am not good enough for potential partners to be with because I have a child, not that I am being all demanding about the rules around my having a child. If that makes sense.