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Old 03-12-2011, 07:40 AM
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ImaginaryIllusion ImaginaryIllusion is offline
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,047

Originally Posted by Freetime View Post
....So......I did what you suggested. I went and talked to her at length about how I feel and what I thought this was all about, dissatisfaction with me, her excitement of a younger man etc. I discussed without censoring or pretending to like this idea exactly how I felt and of my fear of loss. We had one of the best nights we've had in years. We went on a date and continued to talk well into the night. The truth is I was and have been flat out wrong. I've been projecting my own fears onto her and this situation without actually talking to her. I'm feeling pretty damn dumb right now, She listened and understood the concerns I brought forward, and we're working together to overcome the things that currently exist and get in the way of this experience. My reaction was just flat out panic, panic based on old tapes of life experience and past relationships where lying and betrayal were the norm. I have stuff to work on it seems.
And people wonder why we keep harping on communication!!!

Seriously this is awesome stuff. I've run into this several times, with my wife, lovers, life long friends, and of course I've done it myself. It's sooo easy to get oneself spun up on imaginary conversations to the point of making the actual conversation moot.

The real conversation is never moot! They're not always fun, or smooth, but I think mine have always provided a better result in the end than leaving things up to speculation.

Originally Posted by Freetime View Post
I cannot tell you how much I appreciate the council and direction from those here. I'm going to hang around if that's Ok, and continue to learn and study how this works. My wife is now aware that I'm posting here about this and may in fact stop by.
Totally ok. Always good to see another homeboy in the corral. Giddy up.

Originally Posted by Freetime View Post
nycindie, redpepper, River, beodude123, and vodkafan thanks for taking the time to stop by and offer both advice and a gentle boot to the ass to get talking about this. What a difference a day makes.
They rawk don't they.
“People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.” - Chinese Proverb

-Imaginary Illusion

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