Thread: Vicki's Journey
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Old 03-26-2014, 01:38 AM
Vicki82 Vicki82 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: NY
Posts: 349

Just noticed reading back that I used the wrong initial. Guess I was feeling messed up, huh? The recent post was still about J.

L (the guy I started this post about back in 2012) was on my mind because I noticed he still reads my (on another site) blog. Kind of creeps me out a little because he could be on the site anonymously but isn't; he logs in, but never posts or uses it otherwise. So I feel weird. Feels kind of stalker-y. Then, just for shits and giggles, I went to see if he's still dating his submissive. I don't really care because I don't want him back, it was idle curiosity.

Go figure- she has me blocked on Fetlife. I kind of wonder what kind of shitstorm provoked that, since he refused to ever tell her that I existed. Not only that, but I changed my handle on Fetlife a few months after he and I broke up. Neither of them should have been able to find me, and I wasn't expecting her to have known about me. I wonder what kind of drama happened there? He decided to come clean after I broke up with him, partly because he wouldn't tell her about me? That doesn't make sense. But, whatever. I wish them all the happiness either way.

But that's all way in the past, and I've tried to internalize the lessons I learned in previous relationships.

J sent me a text this morning. " <3 I think I'm falling for you."

Wow. What an impact. We've only been dating for a little over a month so I wasn't expecting this. I know we've been seeing each other way more than I did with my previous lovers and at least the same amount of communication, though.

I'm not sure how I feel. I certainly care about him deeply but I am still missing PIV. We have much less sexual contact than I'm used to in a relationship. The cuddles, though, and the intimate touch is so satisfying, I'm definitely getting needs met there. He also made a doctor's appointment so I can see he's trying, and that means a lot.

It's just been so good seeing him. I miss him tonight even though I saw him yesterday and will see him again tomorrow. Whatever this is, it's good.
Me: 36 yrs, poly pansexual Dominant woman.
My People:
Henry, 31yrs, my husband & collared submissive (4yrs), poly, pansexual, currently no other partners.
Charles, 26yrs, new boyfriend (Aug 2018), poly, heteroflexible, currently no other partners.
Jennifer, 43yrs, ex girlfriend but very close friend.
Mark/xH, my ex husband of ten years.
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