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Old 01-11-2018, 03:07 PM
libertinelover libertinelover is offline
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Sydney, Australia
Posts: 12

I enjoyed this article as it really speaks to the situation I'm in and something I'm struggling with at times.
Just over a year ago our 20 year marriage became an open marriage by mutual consent with the view to having separate NSA sex on the side. But of course I went and fell in love with my F-buddy. I don't believe these feelings impact on or are a threat to my marriage so I'm not worried about that. For a while I felt like the article said - even rehearsed the disclaimer I would give if I told my FB I was in love with him.
- That it was just a feeling I had at the moment, not a commitment or promise or expectation. It might last a day or years. It didn't mean I wanted any change to the way things were and I didn't need him to return the feeling. (I never did say any of this.)
But as time went on, I had a growing longing for him to be in love with me and tell me and at times I have felt quite heartbroken believing he doesn't (I really don't know!).
I wish I could go back to not needing reciprocation - or to be precise - not needing to know for sure that he is in love with me, when it wouldn't change anything, and I know he cares about me, desires me, was/is infatuated with me. Why do I pine for that extra validation I attach to him saying he loves me?
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