Thread: Where to begin?
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Old 12-21-2014, 02:25 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 7,087

Originally Posted by Lotsofaijou View Post
So my question is where do I begin? How do I start introducing the idea of bringing a former boyfriend into my new relationship without sounding like this current relationship has problems? Cuz it doesn't. I just love both of these men and want them in my life.
First of all, you aren't "bringing a former bf into your new relationship." Heavens, no! If you put it like that to new bf, I am sure he'd run for the hills.

You want to date both men. They aren't in relationship with each other! It's not a triad. It's a (potential) V. In this V, you'd be the hinge, and the 2 men are the arms. You're not "adding a third" or any of those weird phrasings new polys use.

The only r'ship the 2 men would be in would be as metamours. They may never meet. They may meet, if they want, briefly in passing, or something more. They may dislike each other. They may like each other.

So, you are not forcing your new bf to be in relationship with your best friend/lover.

However, if your new bf/crush is extremely jealous he may not come around. Getting someone entirely new to poly on board can take months or years. But the only thing to do is bring up the subject. To thine own self be true.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 63)
Pixi (poly, F, 41) my partner since January 2009, living together full time 6 years
Master, (mono, M, 37), Pixi's bf since April 2013
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