The Vandalin Saga...

Cajun and I are doing really well. He is still not looking for "outside attention" but is still very supportive of my searches. A realization I came to in the last few months that I keep asking myself... when did I become a MILF?!

I am getting tired of the "dating scene" already. Most guys who contact me are in their early or mid 20's, possibly cougar hunters, and are mostly just looking for sex, which is not what I'm looking for... at least not solely looking for. I figured that the best way to describe what I'm looking for is rather simple, I'm looking for a boyfriend. Someone to go out on dates with, someone to hang out with, someone to be a little (or a lot) physical with, someone who wants or is willing to allow romantic feelings grow between us.

Now didn't y'all miss my long posts? lol

Hi VAN!!!! I did miss you! I don't know about the dating scene but 20 somethings do seem to be rather aggressive with the cougars these days. Didn't like them then and really don't like em now. However, the attention is an ego booster! But I am with you a bf is so much more warm and snuggly, and sex is a given, right?! Welcome back sweetie!:)
 
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4 months later...

Hey y'all!

So four more months have passed. My Jewel is 4 and a half and we are trying to get through potty training so that she can go to the preschool that we would like her to try. It's close by and the place seems really neat. My little Prince is now 14 months old and is walking like crazy! He's not much of a talker just yet but he's gotten Dada out quite a lot. :) Unfortunately he may be lactose intolerant so we are doing some testing to see. Try the soy milk, like or no? help or no? etc. Cajun is working hard but is bored and wants a new project at work, and at home. Fixing the house up for sale is not exactly what he wants to be doing with his free time. We are hoping to get the house up for sale by fall but and with my sister moving out this week, that might just happen! woohoo!

Oh, my "love" life? Bleh. Ok, not totally bleh. I did meet a guy (let's go with John) who is really nice, enjoys games as much as I do (we actually spent a date play Super Mario Bros 3 and Dr. Mario on a Nintendo!) and is new to poly. He and his wife are very interested in doing it "right" in the sense of communication and setting up boundaries and requirements as needed, etc. They even took into effect one of Cajun's and my requirements (from Opening Up I think) about spouses meeting SO's before major physical intimacy. I definitely like this guy and I know he likes me but he also started dating another gal right before me (like a day or two before me) and they had more chances to get together (neither of them have kids) and so they advanced to the bf/gf stage already. He still wants to see me and let things go slowly and naturally and both his wife and gf are ok with that, but he wants to spend most of his time staying in sync with his wife and cultivate his relationship with his new gf. I am all for that, but I'd really like to have a bf. lol John has great potential and we have a lot in common but I'm not going to push things faster or harder than need be. I want this to come naturally too.

So I am now also talking to his gf's hubby on a more platonic note so far. He seems cool but I'm not sure if we would click really. I don't get the huge grin from his messages that I get from receiving a message from John. But who knows what the future holds.

Elric and I got to spend some time together recently, alone, for the first time since the fit hit the shan almost a year and a half ago. Normally there are other people around or we are in public, but this time we had relative privacy sitting outside against the hood of my car and then in the car when the skeeters started biting. It was good. We just sat together and talked, about life in general, about our kids, about other people in our lives, and about what happened a little bit and where we are now. We teased each other and joked around and it was mostly comfortable, but I have to admit that I am still very attracted to him and even just sitting next to him sends thrill-chills down my spine. lol But I don't have any expectations other than friendship this time which I think is making all the difference in the world.

So now I'm going to go to sleep, which I should have done over an hour ago as it has been a very long day and tomorrow will be another long day. Feel free to let me know any thoughts you may have on this update (other than they need to be more frequent as my presence here should be as well) and I'll try to keep you posted on what's happening.

TTFN!
 
Hey Van, something I heard the other day that I'm remembering as I read about you and Elric. "Attraction + Obstacles = Excitement." I don't know about you, but I sure recognize my past patterns in that! Just something to ponder when you find yourself wondering why that guy you like but can't have gives you such enduring chills... :)
 
Hey Van, something I heard the other day that I'm remembering as I read about you and Elric. "Attraction + Obstacles = Excitement." I don't know about you, but I sure recognize my past patterns in that! Just something to ponder when you find yourself wondering why that guy you like but can't have gives you such enduring chills... :)

I like how that sounds. It's about right too. But now it's more "forbidden attraction" that is the excitement I think. lol

New update coming soon. Maybe even tonight!
 
So, trying to keep updating here to not only keep you all interested in my saga, but to help me go through things and maybe figure things out as needed.

So John and I are doing alright. We've had three dates so far, the last one Cajun joined us for the first half (meeting of the men) and it went very well. John tends to chatter a bit when nervous and I had to tease him just a little after Cajun left about the poor napkin that he tore to shreds. He laughed at it too and hopes that next time we all get together he'll be a bit more comfortable. Our last two dates ended with a nice kiss and big grins. He still has the girlfriend and we are still just taking things slowly while he gets accustomed to the wife and girlfriend before attempting a second girlfriend. lol We message and text often even though we don't get to see each other that much which is ok for now. I like him, and I wouldn't want to rush him or anything. Kinda reminds me of the Lady A song that's popular right now...
Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight
....
No I don't want to mess this thing up
I don't want to push too far
So the rest of the song doesn't quite fit, but not many mainstream songs fit the poly lifestyle. lol

Now I also mentioned John's girlfriend's husband but didn't give him a moniker. I shall now call him Brad. Dang, now I have to work on keeping all these names straight again! lol. Now then, Brad and I have been messaging and texting quite a bit and we finally met yesterday. So, maybe I was a little wrong about clicking and grins. We actually annoyed the closers at the restaurant we went to because they close at 10 and we were there talking until 10:30! The hostess actually scowled at us when we left! lol Neither of us realized time going by so quickly which is one thing I really like when on a date. So we move on outside and since we were parked on opposite sides of the lot said our goodnights at the door which consisted of a nice loooong hug and a very nice kiss. I have a feeling that things may progress a little faster than with John, but at least we both have the same ideas for what we are interested in and what we are not looking for, or at least what I am not looking for as he is open to pretty much anything right now.

Brad is going to be meeting Cajun on Thursday at our weekly discussion group which Brad is very very interested in attending. Only problem is that they can't really get to know each other or talk about anything poly as we are not out yet. So it will be interesting to see how this works out.

So that's about it. I've been talking with Carl a bit online (dude I was dating last summer/fall), seeing how he and his wife are doing and how their newer attempts at open/poly are going. We actually started getting into deeper conversation when his wife got home from a date (which oddly enough was with John! (ok everybody now...It's a small world after all)) and figured they should talk a bit before crashing.

Speaking about crashing, I better. Early-ish morning as my Jewel has her tumbling class and we will hopefully will be meeting up with Cajun for lunch afterwards. So goodnight and sweet dreams to you all.

ps. looking back over this and after thinking about it, this is going to be one interesting diagram if we all hook up the way it looks like it's going. lol
 
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