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Old 07-23-2012, 09:56 PM
mercury mercury is offline
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 84

Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
I never said that EVERYONE who doesn't post is just hunky-dory - just saying that those who DO post tend to be the ones with troubles, and to extrapolate that to a statement about the whole population is fallacious, since posters tend to not be a representative cross-section of the poly population.

You may well have had some person experiences that back up your hypothesis, I am just giving you that from my experience there are quite a lot of poly folk out there who are making it work very well for them. Trying to broaden your sample size a little
The thing is, your sample size isn't any bigger than mine. Or however much bigger your sample size is than mine, it's still not big enough for YOUR assessment of poly to be any more valid.

I mean, we can go back and forth all day with "Well, the couples I see are fine" (you) and "the couples I see have so many jealousy issues' (me). I'm not going to place more stock in your assessment than I am in my own just because you tell me to.

I do notice a lot of defensiveness here. A lot of people talk freely about how much of a hassle poly is and how it's a real challenge, but as soon as someone says "Yeah, it does seem like a lot of issues," people then quickly revert to "But it's fine! I'm really quite content and it really works out well..." It's almost like you think I"m insulting you when I say it seems a hassle and has a lot of issues. I'm not insulting you. I'm just saying poly is this way. It is a hassle, it's very jealousy-filled. It's not for nothing that it has the image that it does. I'm not saying the "ends" aren't worth the struggle for some people. But the ends are just that -- the ends. The means, the journey, the struggles...go on and on...and it's constant "I don't like her" stuff.

This is what I"ve observed about poly couples: 1) they're either just starting out and neither partner has even met anyone yet; they haven't even been put to the test yet at all, or 2) couples who have been at it for a long time, but there are lots of issues.
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