Blog of a Former Unicorn

It certainly was a whirlwind 40 minutes huh?
So often that's the story of my life-drives me nuts!

I hope that things settle down for you this weekend in terms of the friendship drama!
 
I smell of woodsmoke and honey, fireworks, clean sheets, the salt tang of tears, the soft powder of little girl and the deep musk of a man's cologne. It's a profile of today that makes me very happy.
 
Hey there!
I smell of perfume and cold. :)
Having just finished a 3 1/2 mile walk.

What a fiasco evening huh?
Thanks for being here to hang with Maca-I understand the little sour pea created quite the emotional stir!
That girl just can't avoid being in an accident let me tell you what!

I hope you enjoyed the campfire!

:)
 
What a fiasco evening huh?
Thanks for being here to hang with Maca-I understand the little sour pea created quite the emotional stir!
That girl just can't avoid being in an accident let me tell you what!

I hope you enjoyed the campfire!

:)

I don't know if Maca really benefited much from my company. I was sleepy from the pain meds, and we didn't talk much at all. Or at least that I remember... hehe. I'm just very glad I turned down that white russian or I would have been spending the night on the floor somewhere.

The campfire was warm and very nice. The boys took very good care of me while I was down there. It was fun to watch them show off and listen to their stories. I heard some verrrrah interesting things about you grownups. ;) Also, my smore was perfect.

The drama has subsided with my friend. In fact, everything seems to have subsided. After a veritable whirlwind of sweetness and honor, Zen has let me know that he can't continue pursuing me romantically. I understand, he's one of those guys who's mono to the core and really needs a wife and family to give his life meaning. I think he came into my life for a reason, and so it's with fondness and gratefulness than I let him go out of it. He's left me a better person than when he found me, and I'm simply thankful for the experience.

I'm really happy right now.
 
I don't know if Maca really benefited much from my company. I was sleepy from the pain meds, and we didn't talk much at all. Or at least that I remember... hehe. I'm just very glad I turned down that white russian or I would have been spending the night on the floor somewhere.

The campfire was warm and very nice. The boys took very good care of me while I was down there. It was fun to watch them show off and listen to their stories. I heard some verrrrah interesting things about you grownups. ;) Also, my smore was perfect.

The drama has subsided with my friend. In fact, everything seems to have subsided. After a veritable whirlwind of sweetness and honor, Zen has let me know that he can't continue pursuing me romantically. I understand, he's one of those guys who's mono to the core and really needs a wife and family to give his life meaning. I think he came into my life for a reason, and so it's with fondness and gratefulness than I let him go out of it. He's left me a better person than when he found me, and I'm simply thankful for the experience.

I'm really happy right now.

Haha, we have extra bedspaces and a couch m'dear! :)
You certainly wouldn't be the first to "crash" here. Hell Midnighsun used to crash here 3-4 nights at a time WITH her kids while her hubby was at work on the slope!

The boys can all certainly tell some entertaining stories. I'll warn you in advance, the only one you can take at face value is Sweet Pea (the 10 year old who is teeny tiny like Sour Pea). He's honest to a fault. The other two... they each have some personal issues from abuse in their life.

I'm glad that the drama is dying down for you. It's always tiring when drama is keeping you busy. :(
 
The perils of a small community... MPG asked me out for breakfast on Sunday, and I had a lovely time with him. As we were leaving, he identified another guy I had been chatting with as being involved in some drama I had heard about but didn't want to touch. I could tell MPG was reluctant to say anything, and told me that he had no right or desire to control who I could or couldn't see... but that he wanted me to be careful because of said circumstances.

At the time I thought his concern was touching, and I've since come to be really grateful for his insight. Funny enough, I've since heard about the crazy drama from two other completely independent sources that had no clue I knew the people involved.

All I can say is that I feel like I dodged a bullet there.
 
I hear you there. :(
That's one of the reasons I'm not looking for anyone, because until things are SOLIDLY stable in my personal life-for a couple of YEARS, I don't want to drag other lovers into the mix-on any front.

I figure by this point you are aware of the fact that Maca is staying elsewhere for now.
We're not fighting-at least I don't think we are.

He's trying to find himself. I'm trying to just sit still.

I hope all is well with you. :(
 
Things are going well for me, overall. I found out my job contract has been extended from December through to March or so, and also that the company is hiring for a position I'm qualified for here in my hometown (no commute!). I'm going to make a play for the position, I think. I'm already half-trained for the job, so hopefully that counts for something.

On the relationship front, I'm not seeing anyone, and not particularly interested in anyone at the moment either. Mr. Unicorn and I are doing extremely well, despite a week of less sleep than usual. I'm very in love with my husband, and I hold the personal opinion that we're some of the happiest people we know.

For now, things are good! :)
 
Anyone reading this blog from the very beginning must be shaking their head at the who's who roster. I swear I'm not operating under a "flavor-of-the-week" model! It's more like the "gotta kiss a lot of frogs" model... Except there's less kissing and more awkward dialogue.

I'm at the tail end of being sick for a week and a half, and my last blog post may have been a little misleading in terms of my being interested in people. The honest truth is that there is a local man and a foreign woman whom I'll call Passport, both of whom I've been talking on the phone and texting with for some number of weeks now.

In Passport's case, I desperately wish she was local. I've been sort of on the fence as to whether or not I should talk about her or not, seeing as there really isn't much I can do about a relationship from here. Yet I'm one of the few people who thinks LDRs can and do work, and as I've said elsewhere, I'd like to honor the connection I have made with this lovely woman. It's not likely to die anytime soon, and I suspect she'll be a semi-regular part of my life for quite some time to come. I very much enjoy talking to her, and to be quite honest my connection with her has killed stone dead my urge to find a local girlfriend. The sort of support and flirty texts that I get to share with her are quite satisfying for me. I wish I could have more time with her, but the dynamic seems to be working very well and I am enjoying getting to know her very much. Overall I'm very happy with making this connection with Passport, even if I don't really have a name for what it is.

The local man works out of town, so he's been gone until very recently. I have had a hell of a lot of fun talking with him over the last three weeks, but I've been remaining very cautious until I actually met him. We have plans to meet this coming Monday evening, but we engineered a small "break the ice" meetup at the post office today, and I'm glad we did! Now that I've met him I am finally sort of allowing myself to get a little excited, and I'm really looking forward to Monday now. At the very least I've gotten myself a very fun friend!
 
Hey there lady!

It sounds like things are going well on your end. :)
I'm SO glad to hear that you and Mr. Unicorn are some of the happiest people you know! That's AWESOME!!!

Maca is still staying in town. :(
But, it seems to be helping. He's reading through a book I gave him called "The Seven Levels of Intimacy" and we've been talking about it in the evenings on instant messenger.

He came out this weekend for my sisters bday party. We had a nice, relaxing weekend with the whole family.

I miss him. I hope that he figures lots of things out while he's gone though.
 
So Passport joined the forums! Hi Passport! She's a very sweet, sweet woman and I hope she ends up liking this place. I'm still learning so much about her, and every time I hear from her I end up smiling like an idiot. Things have been pretty great.

There's a guy at work whom I'm making friends with, and he's really gotten my brain going about a number of things... resulting in the lofty goal of resurrecting my business that I put on hold when my mother was in the hospital. My brain is going a thousand miles a minute trying to remember all the old information about it and processing all of the new ideas I've had in the meantime.

There's a lot of movement in my life in general... I feel more creative, happy, motivated, and responsible. Even my husband seems to be touched by this and has been actively pursuing creative endeavors and looking into making some job changes. There's so much joy in my existence right now, and I finally feel like myself again.

Perhaps it's just the NRE. I've seen the local guy for a few dates and I think he's just my speed. :D
 
Awwww you make me blush. I'm very happy to be here :)

I am looking forward to making this my online "home" and getting to know other people better :)
 
Just finished a blissful four day weekend at home with Mr. Unicorn for his birthday. It's been very loving and the perfect mini vacation that we needed from our brutal commuting schedule. There were many sins of decadence committed, including a bacon and vodka breakfast today!

Hung out with local guy and his wife late on Sunday. It's the first time I've really spent any time around her, and I had a really fun time. She and I got into a conversation about what a damn small world it is here in this state... before I met them, I've heard about them from several different sources over the course of several years, including the fact that my friend Pearl used to work for her. I told her I had a moment of "oh THOSE people!" Also, Mr. Unicorn used to play in their house as a child. It gave us a laugh to have our topic illustrated so cleanly.

I find I have a difficult time remembering that I can contact people when I'm at home. When I'm at home, I'm at HOME, and I don't really want to do anything except for BEING AT HOME. I am always happy to hear from people when they get in touch with me, but the idea that I can initiate that is... just not something I ever seem to remember.

Just something for me to keep in mind. There are all sorts of opportunities I'm missing to talk to Passport because I forget I can...
 
If you don't mind my asking, FormerUnicorn, how are you meeting all these fun and interesting people? :) I'm trying to expand my social circle myself - I really enjoy having friends and a social life, but I don't have a lot of experience at it. I'm finding the expansion phase to be quite challenging lol. :)
 
If you don't mind my asking, FormerUnicorn, how are you meeting all these fun and interesting people?

The bottom line is that I'm willing to take a chance on the fact that I might not get along with someone.

I've been a member of OkCupid for six or seven years now, and I've used it primarily as a way to meet new people. The story was that I was living in England and I knew I was going to be moving to Alaska. I didn't want to arrive friendless, so I networked aggressively... and it worked so well that I had someone to go hiking with the night I got off the plane. And a standing thursday night scrabble game. And three offers for dinner and a movie.

I've probably met close to eighty people off of OKC in person. Some of them have been pretty scary (My senses are a bit better now) and some of them have just been plain weird. Some of them are obviously just looking for sex (not my cuppa tea). Most are nice enough people that I see a time or two and then drift away from.

That's not always the case. Some of the people I have met have been my friends for years. I even met my husband off of there, and we've been happily married for almost three years and together for almost six.

It can also be a gateway to other dynamics. A person I thought was my friend decided to terminate a friendship after he read my profile. I knew of Passport beforehand but we didn't really talk until I messaged her on OKC (boy am I ever glad I did!). I'm not sure I ever would have spoken to Local Guy had I been aware that I knew of him, but that connection took me completely by surprised, and it's one of the things that makes me smile every day these days.

Don't be afraid to strike up conversations with people. Ask coworkers to lunch. Neighbors, people at the library... just start talking to people, and be prepared to give your number out if you find someone who you'd like to talk to again! Good candidates are people who you strike up easy conversations with, or people you find yourself lingering for.

Don't be afraid to put yourself out there, cause the worst that could happen is that they could say no, or that they don't call! I'm still kicking myself in the pants for not doing this for: The awesome lady with the toddler in the jewelry section of the library in 2005, the sweet clerk in the jean jacket at bath and body works in 2006, and the artist at the art store in 2009, and the woman who helped me out at lowes when my car broke down last winter.

It can be challenging and it can be a lot of work, but it's always worth it in the end. :D
 
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I knew of Passport beforehand but we didn't really talk until I messaged her on OKC (boy am I ever glad I did!). :D

Me too!!

You owe me a phone call pretty lady!! :) What'cha up to around 9.30pm your time tonight? I'm going to be waiting for my son at his piano lessons so I have about 1/2 hour to chatter :);)
 
1.5 Years Later

So a lot of time has passed since I was last on the forums.

I read through this blog and smile at the happy girl I was when I last wrote. I am still happy, but the whirlwind of new joy has worn off.

Basic updates:

We moved back into Anchorage, and I'm back in school. It's a good change.

I haven't spoken with Passport in a long time. I think of her every time I pick up my phone, which is a lot these days. I've been meaning to send a text, but there's a lot going on in her life right now, but since she more than a thousand miles away I am not sure what I can do except send a tiny but heartfelt piece of love.

I totally sucked when it came to Local Guy. I failed him very badly and it was not his fault. I hurt whenever I think about it, but resolve to communicate better with others in the future.

Mr. Unicorn and I finally came to terms with my feelings for Griffin, and I got his blessing to be happy in whatever way I wanted. This was a boon for Mr. Unicorn and I because our communication is way better and I feel I can trust him to support me in my decisions and in our life together.

Griffin and I, well, we had some conversations that we had been avoiding for YEARS. There were a lot of tears on my end, and some soul-searching on his end, and when everything was said and done things ended up pretty much where they always have been, except that we see each other slightly more than we used to, I kiss him whenever I want, and we enjoy the occasional bout of deliciously guilt-free sex. He's talking about moving out of state in a year or so, and I'm both proud of him and secretly devastated.

I am also completely obsessed with a reserved fellow who I'll call the Poet, who is a member of a weekly gaming group that meets at our house and who is most likely completely unattainable. But a girl can always have hope. Whatever the case, all I've wanted is to do is to see how much I can make him laugh. When we first met it was such a rare and splendid thing to hear that I was always amazed by how much it moved me to see him so relaxed. He seems a man who needs more laughter in his life.

His type has been making me fall over myself since I can remember. He's solemn and literate and extremely private and I am making my slow way to befriending him. He's like a half-feral cat when he arrives at our house, coiled and wary. He wolfs down my cooking as if he hadn't eaten since he was over the week before, the group games, and by the time he leaves it is with an easy smile. And I've finally scheduled time to hang out with him alone.

I live a very good life, full of love and fun.
 
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