Thread: wife of a Poly
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Old 05-08-2013, 10:33 PM
monkeystyle monkeystyle is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: South of Chicago, IL
Posts: 149

Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post
WOW, this sounds familiar . BTDT OK, still going through episodes of something similar. Not too long ago, I flipp'n freaked when I found out (from another party) that husband outright lied to me about his out of town trip. He said it was for work, when it was with a group of friends. It took me two days to finally just make peace with certain facts. He will do it again, he's done it for 20 years and likely to his family for 20 years prior to me, it's not going to stop now, it is so ingrained in him that it's going to take an act of God to permanently change his habits. The question I now ask myself (before flipping out) "Does it change my reality?" In this case, it didn't. I did tell him, that he just destroyed the trust we had just spent a year and a half re-building. Was it worth it?
In this case, I think the OP has a threat being held over her head to allow poly or move on from a guy who only admitted a recent affair after the other spouse found out, and has continued lying after it. There's lying, and then there's a level above it where lying is mixed with contempt for the person you're misleading. I think the OP is up on that one.
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