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Old 09-07-2010, 07:30 PM
tiresias tiresias is offline
New Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 3
Default new & confused with an issue

Hello all. I became involved in a poly relationship with an engaged girl about 6 months ago. Then this summer (4 & 1/2 months ago) I had to travel out of the country for work and she was married, so we pretty much took a break except for the occasional hello.

Anyway, she has hsv-2 and told me this before we started any sexual activities. I evaluated the risks and decided to go forward with it - she's on medication, has had it for 5 years w/o an outbreak in 4 and is very healthy and aware of her body. We also ALWAYS used condoms. Anyway, I havent been with her in about 4.5 months and was tested two weeks ago and came back clean.

We are about to meet again and well, I guess Id say the first time we got together with her I was so attracted to her that it kind of blinded me a bit (we get along amazingly well). I was new to poly at the time and really wasn't really dating others and was thinking of a potential live-in situation with her and her guy. Weve talked pre our break and she is only into keeping it secondary and seeing eachother maybe once weekly with the occasional vacation but maintaining her husband as very much so her primary. This was a bit hard for me at first but thanks to time and life and all that wonderful stuff I am fine with it.

Anyway, we are to meet again in a couple days and if it wasn't for the hsv-2 I would totally be down to at least try the sort of relationship she proposes. I feel very much so over my infatuation with her while at the same time really (really) excited about polyamory. My issue is that her having hsv-2 really limits me in finding other partners because clearly I would relay that risk any new partner before we became sexually involved.

Basically I am confused and really could use some advice. Does anyone have any experience with this? Any thoughts/words are super appreciated.


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