Redpepper's journey

How? How? I need to know how to be quiet! That is something I could never do. I don't know why, but I just can't be quiet. In fact, I have had neighbors complain to the super and my landlord about the noise coming from my apartment -- once when I was married (I bought that neighbor earplugs and left it in front of his door, the bastard!), and once recently. Oy, it was really embarrassing to find a very polite note from my super asking me to be quiet. What could I do? Once, in my early twenties, my sister was at college and talking to a classmate, and it turns out he knew an old boyfriend of mine. The guy said to her, "Oh, your sister is The Screamer!!!???" She was mortified.

I think some people really can't be quiet. I've been with guys who couldn't stop moaning, and my best friend's partner is a total screamer, even when it's inconvenient and she knows she needs to be quiet.

For me, being "noisy" means turning off the filter that's in place keeping me quiet. (Ha. One of the few filters I seem to have!) There are also some sex acts that make it difficult to be quiet. So I avoid those when I need to. it's not worth being disrespectful to other people in the house, and we still get alone time in the house as couples at least once a week. (Indigo and I get more because of Mr. A's schedule, but he makes sure Mr. A and I get a few solid hours minimum, even if he has to leave.)
 
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I'm not so good at quiet either. :eek: I've been teased by friends staying in the same campground as us one summer that they could hear me, quite clearly, from 8 spots away. I try to be quiet and fail.
 
One of the reasons I love Sex at Dawn-- its insistence on how women are noisy when cumming because they are meant to be attracting other lovers to stand in line for when Partner A is done.

Last night, I was in the mood, Miss Pixi not so much. I sure could've used some reinforcements. Sigh.... I hate being mono.
 
I actually have to kind of force it to make any noise at all. I wouldn't say it's faking but it's a bit like with eating, I don't usually make big "mmmh" sounds whenever I like what I'm eating. I just eat it.
I don't think I could ever scream. Even the noise I do make couldn't be heard from the next room, for sure. Probably not even with the door open.
 
I don't do it on purpose, but I am really a screamer. Yes, I scream. My poor neighbors! I'm sure the whole building can hear me. I've tried to be quiet but I just don't know how! Maybe if I didn't like to get slammed so hard...

Last night, coincidentally, an old rerun of Friends was on -- the one where Monica makes "sex sounds" when Phoebe gives her a massage. Monica's going "Oh yeah, Oh god, yes, that's it. Oh yes, Phoebe!" And at the end, Phoebe gets into it: "That's right, say my name!" and then they both get bashful. Pretty funny!
 
We went from separate apartments to living on top of each other. It was hard for a time with Mono downstairs and feeling like there was space, but this is INSANE! I can't imagine negotiating when to have sex with who but it feels like I have to start. Ahhhh! I feel passed around and am going crazy for space right now!

Mono got himself set up in my room. It was a difficult matter to find room to practice my number last night. Right now I am hiding in the car.

With this and everything else going on in my life I think I'm going to bust!

At least they came and meassured for floors. Some movement forward.

Plastering a smile on and picking up the boy.
 
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I understand this. To get my space, I tend to occupy whatever bedroom is not in use, or the one that is "opposite" of whoever is home. So, if Indigo is home, I go to Mr. A's room, and vice versa. This way, I find that there's a little more thought from everyone involved that I'm in a space they wouldn't normally walk into unannounced, so they remember that I'm having my time.

I know your family offered to put Mono up; perhaps you could use a break for a night or two with them instead?

Anyway, just thoughts, which are probably all rubbish because you can throw everything out when kids are involved, but you're all in my thoughts. :)
 
Yes, child involved hikes it up 100%. I am missing not only quiet, physical space and my own time, but also my stuff. Everyone who has read here knows how much I love my room. I miss my room! My things, my freedom to do as I please. It's coming. Patience, I know. It's not like it isn't there, just not right now.
 
Yes, child involved hikes it up 100%. I am missing not only quiet, physical space and my own time but also my stuff. Everyone who has read here knows how much I love my room. I miss my room! My things, my freedom to di as I please. It's a coming, patience, I know. Its not like it isn't there, just not right now.

Yeah, luckily I travel light. Book and iPad and I'm good. Plus the rooms are ten feet from each other if I need anything else.

*HUG*
 
This is completely normal for any family having to live in a construction zone. There's just no place for anyone to escape. It should move faster once they are sure everything is dried out. Hugs!
 
So still no place for Mono. We have adjusted at this point. He (and I) come upstairs to eat, pee, have a glass of water, shower. It sucks, that part, as we loved our mornings of breaky in bed, showers after sweaty sex and getting up to pee after drinking. It's not to be right now. Still, we have managed. He has made himself a nest of stuff, including his bed, so that I can have my space back. That is working.

There's no sign of anyone ready to fix the mess. Apparently they are waiting for the insurance company to sign off on it.

I went on a date with Leo last week. It was a nice time. The same ol' pent up need to express ourselves as we see fit, to no avail, ending in frustration. It will be three years soon, a bizarre thought.

I learned something about his wife this time. Apparently she is struggling with our connection almost as much as Mono does. For he,r the issue is emotional fidelity, for him, sexual fidelity. I guess its hard for her to see her husband close to another woman. I didn't know that. Guessed it, but didn't know for sure. He says that even if we could engage in a deeper level of connection with each other, there would also be the hurdle of helping her to feel comfortable.

I had a date with my darling hubby last week. We went to an alternative dance. There was a DJ from Australia coming and PN was keen to hear them and dance to them. It was interesting to watch him float around the floor, socializing with people I either barely knew or didn't know at all.

He talked with a woman he was a bit interested in, who had ditched him for coffee a couple of days earlier. I watched him sort that out with her and listened when he talked about his lack of interest as a result. He had had a weird conversation with her. It obviously made him feel sad so I gave him lots of words of encouragement and lovin'. We had a great night and it was a relaxing dancey time.

On Saturday, my beautiful Derby and I went out for a night of fun and frivolousness. We went to see the Big Lebowski, in a quote-along version. We dressed up as characters from the movie and were in a competition for best costume. We didn't win anything. We had a good talk while we waited for the movie and had a snuggly time during. It was a really nice night. We hadn't been on a date in a while due to vacations and summer business.

Mono had a reunion with some old friends this weekend, which he'd ditched when his wife kicked him out. They were owners of a fight club that he was highly involved in for some time before he left. They were very accepting of him being at the party. They invited him back to work for them when he retires from the military. He was very excited but nervous. I hope it sorts out and he is able to at least be involved some way. He missed it! It was one of the first things he told me about when we first dated. He has a tattoo from the club's logo. (He can correct me if I am wrong on that one. I can't remember how it was related.)

I have to say, I don't get the appeal of fighting. They train police officers, etc., on how to handle situations of physical violence. I suppose that is valuable. I have been trying to incorporate the whole idea into my head, in terms of how I see skilled verbal communication to be of importance. It's just not part of the world I have ever known, but I am eager to find out more.

Talk about a world of difference between PN's dance party and the party Mono went to! It makes me laugh. :) I am such a chameleon really. I can blend at many events.

So, about me. Hmm... not much to say. I find myself uninterested in reading and writing on the forum right now, perhaps due to the high need to be elsewhere giving my support right now in several ways. I am glad to offer support elsewhere right now as I have had much from some of those that I am giving to. That is important to me. :)

I have been working on several projects and making plans for future events and fun stuff, burlesque included. I look forward to winter projects in this way. On top of that, I admin a FB group that demands a lot of attention sometimes and it wears me out to give it. Not in a bad way, but I am trying to respect myself and allow myself the time to increase my energy. I know many of you from there, as I have added you. I love that we come together there and are able to stay connected outside of this space.

Well, I have sat here staring at this for a few minutes. It's after midnight, and I have nothing else to say. So that's it for now. :) *hugs*
 
I have to say I don't quite get the appeal of fighting. Well I don't at all actually. They train police officers etc. on how to handle situations of physical violence. I suppose that is valuable. I have been trying to incorporate the whole idea into my head in terms of how I see skilled verbal communication to be of importance. Its just not part of the world I have ever known, but I am eager to find out more.

It's a sport and a testosterone outlet, not really any different than tennis, football, and hockey. (Or does hockey qualify as fighting?) Why does anyone like a particular sport over another? I would imagine because there is a natural tendency toward that activity.

Go harass your insurance company! Hugs. I hate living in a construction zone.
 
Still no change in Mono's apartment being fixed up. That is all I have to say on that. :mad:

Life is humming along nicely. I have been really busy with singing and burlesque stuff and enjoying it all. I have a number coming up with a dance troupe, which is proving to be really fun to practice. The next show is a Halloween theme-- my favourite! Excited! :)

Mono and I will celebrate his birthday soon at my parents' house on a neighbouring island. I remember writing here about thinking I would never go there again, and how we'd lost the right to share the experience of building it with them. Now Mono and I are going there alone with their blessing. How things change.

PN is in a dating mood so we are all waiting anxiously to see who comes out of the woodwork and possibly into our lives. I too have decided to go back out there and see who comes up for possible friendship. Should be interesting. :)

I'm totally chopped liver around here these days with Mono living with us. I am at the way end of the totem pole of who LB wants to hang with. :) But when he gets sleepy and needs a cuddle he emerges and is by my side looking for Mumma's attention, still my little boy, after all. I love watching all my guys.

Derby's birthday is today, and our women's group. Should be fun. I hope she likes the cake I just made :)

Leo is working on creating a business and doesn't have much time for me lately. I have backed right off of texting, making dates etc. It's interesting how he texts me more and asks when we will see each other, now that I am not as readily available.

All smiles these days, even if life is hectic and full.
 
PN is in a dating mood so we are all waiting anxiously to see who comes out of the woodwork and possibly into our lives. I too have decided to go back out there and see who comes up for possible friendship. Should be interesting :)

To say the least, I'm sure! :D
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;)
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:)
 
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Mono and I will celebrate his birthday soon at my parents house on a neighbouring island.. I remember writing here about thinking I would never go their again and how we lost the right to share the experience of building it with them... now Mono and I are going there alone with their blessing. How things change.

Life is good :)!!! Can't wait to get away with you Beautiful :)
 
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