Hi all, thank you in advance for reading this. Slight background info, my wife S and I have been practicing poly for about a year and a half. Her current boyfriend J is married and they've been dating for about a year. Over the last 5 months J and his wife C moved further away. Still driving distance, just a few hours away. This completely changed S and J's dynamic because they were used to seeing each other every week. This has also caused a lot of stress and hard conversations for them. The other thing that started happening was they began having arguments all the time. Every few weeks either J and C are fighting, J and S are fighting, or its all of them. Every time I try to support my wife through the potential breakups. She cries, stays depressed for a while, then they finally talk and everything goes back to their "normal".
The thing that has not been going back to normal is how I feel about their relationship. Every time I see what he puts her through, I want her to break up with him more and more. I don't say it. I told her once before after a fight last month that I don't think its a healthy relationship for her to be in. But she keeps saying that she can't lose him. It's extremely frustrating. I know it's not my relationship with him. I know I should just focus on my relationship with her. I can't get over the fact that it keeps going bad and she keeps going back. I need to get over the resentment I feel after every time they fight and I have to help pick up the pieces.
How do you remain supportive of your spouse when you don't think they're in a good relationship?
The thing that has not been going back to normal is how I feel about their relationship. Every time I see what he puts her through, I want her to break up with him more and more. I don't say it. I told her once before after a fight last month that I don't think its a healthy relationship for her to be in. But she keeps saying that she can't lose him. It's extremely frustrating. I know it's not my relationship with him. I know I should just focus on my relationship with her. I can't get over the fact that it keeps going bad and she keeps going back. I need to get over the resentment I feel after every time they fight and I have to help pick up the pieces.
How do you remain supportive of your spouse when you don't think they're in a good relationship?