Couple-hunting in Unicornia

...I have a problem imaging super-pretty people have sex.
You would probably like amateur porn, then. It's more fun and realistic. The angles aren't always optimized for the camera, so people are actually doing what they're doing without everything being external and showing. So, a little bit of mystery remains when you can't see all the details. Much better.
 
You would probably like amateur porn, then. It's more fun and realistic. The angles aren't always optimized for the camera, so people are actually doing what they're doing without everything being external and showing. So, a little bit of mystery remains when you can't see all the details. Much better.

Cool! The only porn I've ever really been exposed to has been the ultra-pretty people who don't sweat and some heavy BDSM stuff Vanilla enjoys (sperm in the eyes!?! WTF), so I haven't really developed a taste for anything so far.
 
GENERAL: Why the provision of mental health treatment needs to change

From Community Psychology: In Pursuit of Liberation and Well-being, pp. 10 - 11:

"The Ontario Health Supplement conducted in 1991 found that in a representative sample of adults in Ontario (close to 10,000 respondents) the one-year prevalence rate for any mental disorder was 48% (Offord et al., 1994). In the Ontario Child Health study of a representative sample of children and young people (3,000 children) in Ontario, Offord et al. (1987) found a one-year prevalence rate of 18% for any disorder.

What is most disturbing about these findings is that the majority of adults and children with mental disorders were not receiving any mental health intervention for their problems (Offord et al., 1987; Offord et al., 1994). Based on his report on human resources in mental health, George Albee (1959) concluded that there were not, and never could be, enough trained mental health professionals to provide treatment services to everyone with a mental health problem. Even if therapy were 100% effective, mental health problems could not be eliminated, because the need for services far outstips their supply. As Albee (1996a) has reminded us, 'no mass disease (disorder) in human history has ever been eliminated or significantly controlled by attempts at treating the affected individual, nor by training large numbers of individual treatment personnel' (pp. 4-5).

...

Schofield (1964) argued that psychotherapy tends to be geared to clients who are young, attractive, verbal, intelligent and successful. To this list we can add that psychotherapy clients are those who have health insurance or can afford this treatment. In their famous study of social class and mental illness, Hollingshead and Redlich (1958) found a two-tiered system of treatment, one for the affluent and one for the poor. Affluent people with less serious mental health problems tended to receive psychotherapy, while poor people with more serious mental health problems tended to be 'treated' in mental hospitals with drug therapy and custodial care.

As Offird et al. (1994) reported, nearly half (42%) of those respondents who do not have a diagnosable mental disorder receive some form of mental health intervention. Beiser, Gill and Edwards (1993) reviewed factors that influence people's utilization of mental health services and they argued that treatment approaches typically reflect Europ-North American values, which may contradict the beliefs of people from different cultures. Language is another barrier for some cultural and ethnic groups to receiving mental health intervention. As a result, many ethnic minority consumers either do not access services or they drop out of programs after their initial contacts."
 
May I recommend a wonderful queer alt-porn performer named Jiz Lee? So dreamy!!
 
PERSONAL: An Isle of Tranquility among Storming Seas

First things go first: Vanilla was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. Weehee! I'm so relieved to know that the underlying issue isn't 1) me 2) her 3) us no good.

I've been reading up as much on BLPD as I can. Turns out it's not nearly as severe and untreatable as previously thought, but in fact shows amazing recovery rates. Vanilla is now the fourth person I know for a fact has this diagnosis. We talked over the phone with mum and she was also relived to know that so many of the things that have been bothering her about Vanilla have an explanation now.

I've more or less accommodated to the reality that is Chip. Things have permanently changed for me and Vanilla - there is a huge chunk of my life that I can no longer share with her, since I don't know if, when and how it will carry on to Chip's or, worse yet, Goblin's ears. I also have to be very careful about leaving my stuff, especially papers, lying around the house. I had a minor quesy feeling when I realized my bedroom drawer had been opened while I wasn't there and a book I was reading had been taken out for browsing and general inspection. I mean, it's a small thing but makes me feel nauseous nevertheless.

Vanilla's nurse wants me to commit to regular couple's therapy. I hate to sound bad but I hope it doesn't interfere overmuch with my work. I really need to focus on my own life, too - that's the biggest trigger Vanilla has atm, that I care more about my work than I care about her and our relationship.
 
While I haven't read /every/ post of your blog, I have to tell you that I'm really enjoying it because of the situation that is developing in my life. And... I'm new to poly. This should be interesting!
 
If anyone gets any kind of contact (FB, Skype, phone, anything) with BU, please tell her to contact me. She left home some days ago, her phone's off and I don't even know if she's alive. I don't know why, everything seemed to be alright and then she suddenly just disappeared. This situation hurts like hell.

Honey, if you read this, please come home. Or call me. Anything. Just want to know you're okay.
 
Oh my god. :( I so hope she's ok, and I'm sorry for what you must be going through, V!
 
Vanilla,

Oh no. Sending you hugs and strength.

BU, phone home please! Your real life loves and online friends are worried.
 
Vanilla, I'm sorry.

If it makes you feel better, the most common situation that occurs is people in these situations usually just need a little time to think and come home just fine. Prayers for you and your beloved.
 
Thanks everyone for your support. Nothing new yet, she's still missing.

LotusesandRoses, you are probably right. I just can't understand how she can do this to me, leaving without a word when she knows I'm gonna panic and get worried and go crazy. Things were getting better and now this, without any explanation. I've tried to call her mother and her best friend, they don't answer me. Her other friends don't know about her and everyone's just worried. I've tried to call her, send messages, fb, email, everything.
 
I just can't understand how she can do this to me...
I am sure she's not doing it TO YOU. It's not necessarily about YOU. Maybe she needs to get away FOR HERSELF. Maybe there is a reason her family is not answering your calls -- maybe she wants some alone time and distance. She has been struggling, I know, so this was probably the only way she saw to handle whatever she's going through. I'm sure she will be in touch when she's ready and feels strong enough.
 
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If the best friend and mother aren't answering, that's a good sign! It means she's probably okay.

If you haven't already, I'd call the police. Her behavior is unacceptable if she is okay, and if she isn't, authorities should be notified.
 
A bit late to edit, but if the mother isn't answering, she's likely safe. I would not call the police at this point. (Mods, you certainly can edit the above post.)
 
I'm alive

My spirit's on fire, aa-aa, uu, I'm alive... ahem. :eek:

And I've moved out, as you can see. There is nothing wrong with me, and I've let Vanille know that. She wants to marry someone else, and to me, that is the end of our engagement.
 
This is just bullshit and you know it. You know I love you more than anything. More than my own life. And I wouldn't do anything against your will. So would you now please stop acting like an angry 7-years old and come home to talk about this? Or even answer my calls. You didn't let me know anything and I've worried my head off. I've never been this angry in my whole life, and no-one's ever treated me shitty like this, but please come home and we can figure this out. Please.
 
You are not treating me in a loving way. And haven't for a while. Every month or two, somebody new walzes in to the picture, and you throw our lives completely upside down to accommondate the newest guy you just can't live without.

As to your new fiance, I told you that if you bedded him, I am not going to clean up the mess after things turn sour. This is me not cleaning up. Instead, I'm cleaning myself out. You can consider yourself a free single lady from now on.

And this is all I'm going to say on the matter here in public anymore.
 
Why couldn't you just tell me what's bothering you and we'll figure it out, instead of leaving like this? You let me think that everything's just fine and getting better, and then just disappear? I don't want to do this publicly either, but this seems to be the only way you answer me. So please come home and we'll speak about everything. I've always loved you more than anything. And I always will. We can get things better, I promise. Be mono or whatever. I've promised to spend the rest of my life with you and I mean it, whatever happens. Just don't give up now. Or at least don't leave like this. I just want to see you so we can talk about this.

Call me. Please. I don't want to continue the conversation here.
 
Thank you for letting us know you're alive and well BU. Hope you and Vanilla can come to some sort of understanding and peace soon.
 
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