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Old 07-29-2011, 02:49 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,732

I said she will likely be on the up swing because she just heard about poly for the first time and is young and I am assuming has limited relationship experience. In my experience the younger generation is poly dating like crazy. Its the new thing. Like bisexuality was in the 90's here. They are not married, don't have a firmly estalised relationship of a number of years and just started their relationship life. There is a chance that she could be further from monogamous into poly than she was trained to be. If mono is all she has known then its possible if she is given some info.

Besides, the young man was fearful. Likely because he has only had limited relationship experience and has not experienced the pain of a partner in distress. Sometimes, and quite often, its temporary before moving ahead to work on stuff. Besides, I found him respectful, considerate, concerned and was not jumping ahead throwing possible partners in her face. He was telling her BEFORE any of that. I thought it was worth giving him some hope and sending the message that HE is okay in this and that he just needs to give it time and see.

Maybe I got their story wrong, maybe it won't come around for them, maybe I am out to lunch; if any of that is the case then that's too bad and I'm sorry, but really, I know a thing or two about monogamous people "not coming around" to poly. I live it every day and especially lived it this week. That doesn't mean it is the case for everyone. People who are new to poly are not necessarily going to react and eventually be adverse to the concept or be in a position to have to deal with poly from their mono perspective.

It sounds like you are hurting right now sage. I feel for you. I know what that looks like and know what it feels like to be on the other side dealing out the cause of that pain, but we are not necessarily like other mono/poly people. I tend to err on the side of everything will work out with communication and work. Maybe that is wishful thinking, I dunno.
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