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Old 01-11-2012, 03:27 PM
Tesla Tesla is offline
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 23

Originally Posted by polyq4 View Post
You need to get down to the base emotions you are NOT dealing with and deal with them, at the current rate your jealous behaviours are destructive and will ultimately break down your relationship, based on what you said its starting already.
I agree. I'm going to try and work that stuff out with myself. I told him the other day that I've been spending years externalizing my happiness and self-esteem, but that's clearly not working out too well for me. It just places my self worth on a shaky tower and the minute some external "thing" that makes me happy disappears, the whole model comes crashing down again. I can't keep rebuilding my self worth every few weeks, months, years. It needs to be built on a sturdier foundation and the only way I'm going to build one is by basing it on myself, essentially internalizing it, because I am truly the only constant factor in my life. I would hate for something born out of honesty, respect and love to be what drags this relationship down. He and I have such a long and loving history... I could never forgive myself for being the reason it fell to pieces.

Originally Posted by polyq4 View Post
Go talk to this guy,(her bf) just bring up what your feeling, invite him out or over for a coffee and just talk, you will probably find it easier to do once you start.
I think I will start by writing him a short letter, this way he knows what it is I want to discuss beforehand and I'll be less inclined to chicken out.

Originally Posted by polyq4 View Post
BTW once you do get past these jealous feelings and you can love many it really is a wonderful place to be.
I certainly hope so.
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