Well for those that have been keeping up... it appears that my "vibes" about the OSO were more accurate than I thought... so much so that she is no longer in the picture (shocking development). I didn't ask for too many specific details, but our guy felt like he had been "deceived" and knew it wasn't in either of our best interests to continue that relationship.
...so why does that scare me...
Anyway, we really got a chance to connect during my recent visit, and the alone time allowed us to have some very valuable conversations that have put me at ease about a lot of things (yes, I put out more boundaries) and I think we are at a good place for now. However, there is a situtation coming up soon where I know I will be in the presence of someone else he is involved with.
I explained my discomfort about doing a threesome and he was totally fine with that (I actually told him I am not sure if I will ever be comfortable watching him with another woman in my presence--maybe the other situation hasn't worn off yet), and he was fine with that. I explained that I am OK with him having other women, and that I need the option of bringing other men into my life (which he reluctantly agreed to)...
BUT... I am sure he is going to want to spend time with the other woman since they haven't been together in a long time which doesn't bother me, but I don't want to be anywhere NEAR their... encounter (not even a room next door). As it stands now, I think he may have wanted me in another part of the house while they are together. I don't think I can even HEAR them together without melting down! So should I get a room elsewhere? I don't mind maybe having dinner with them to meet her (he is SO big on his SO's meeting each other....), but if it gets physical, I am so outta there.
Am I just being a big baby? Do other poly relationships function where the SO's don't meet each other? Don't get me wrong... she seems really nice, but I'm still not ready to be best buddies with the other women in his life.
Will this change over time? My goodness! I've only been at this for a couple of months. I'm not quite ready to jump head first into full compersion!!!
...so why does that scare me...
Anyway, we really got a chance to connect during my recent visit, and the alone time allowed us to have some very valuable conversations that have put me at ease about a lot of things (yes, I put out more boundaries) and I think we are at a good place for now. However, there is a situtation coming up soon where I know I will be in the presence of someone else he is involved with.
I explained my discomfort about doing a threesome and he was totally fine with that (I actually told him I am not sure if I will ever be comfortable watching him with another woman in my presence--maybe the other situation hasn't worn off yet), and he was fine with that. I explained that I am OK with him having other women, and that I need the option of bringing other men into my life (which he reluctantly agreed to)...
BUT... I am sure he is going to want to spend time with the other woman since they haven't been together in a long time which doesn't bother me, but I don't want to be anywhere NEAR their... encounter (not even a room next door). As it stands now, I think he may have wanted me in another part of the house while they are together. I don't think I can even HEAR them together without melting down! So should I get a room elsewhere? I don't mind maybe having dinner with them to meet her (he is SO big on his SO's meeting each other....), but if it gets physical, I am so outta there.
Am I just being a big baby? Do other poly relationships function where the SO's don't meet each other? Don't get me wrong... she seems really nice, but I'm still not ready to be best buddies with the other women in his life.
Will this change over time? My goodness! I've only been at this for a couple of months. I'm not quite ready to jump head first into full compersion!!!